


To the Sickle and Back

by Aphistas



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Panic Attacks, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:03:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 76,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphistas/pseuds/Aphistas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt on artificialqueens:</p><p>In a world where everyone has a Soulmate mark, few ever find their perfect match. When Katya and Violet get cast on Rupaul's Drag Race, what happens when they discover that they are perfect matches when everyone is competing to send all the other queens home to win the crown?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Born Naked (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was originally posted to my RPDR tumblr, czarina-chachki.

Katya had made it. She could scarcely believe it. She had auditioned for years, and it only took until she got herself clean after years of alcohol and drugs. A year and a half of sobriety, and she made it, at Rupaul’s Drag Race Season Seven.  


Well, actually, she was sequestered in her hotel room the night before filming was set to begin. Semantics. She still fucking made it! It had been a difficult road, but she felt so alive. She got to live this dream so few even got to taste. Katya couldn’t wait to meet the other queens. 

‘ _I hope none of them are prettier than me._ ’ She guffawed at the thought. 

Her workroom outfit – a classic soviet army uniform bodysuit that her communist grandmother had given her –  laid spread out on the spare bed. She made sure she had everything prepared for the following day. She really didn’t need any extra stress.

Katya jumped onto her bed and cuddled Cheryl, a coonskin cap she had become oddly attached to as she absently scratched her soulmate mark on her right hip. She just couldn’t wait. When her nerves finally settled, Katya fell asleep with a smile. 

–

Violet analyzed her purple lace dress – which she had immediately unpacked and hung on a hanger after arrival – for any unwanted creases or wrinkles. Flawless, as she expected from every look she had brought. She had already tripled checked on her lavender wig that she made sure to style immediately after she unpacked all the pieces of her entrance outfit. Her stockings and underwear were laid out on top of her dresser. Her purple pumps were spotless. 

Violet intended to make an impact when she walked through those doors the following morning. At only twenty-two years of age, Violet knew the other queens would no doubt underestimate her abilities, so she had to make a perfect impression and prove that they should not take her lightly. She would be a force to be reckoned with. 

She smirked. And if she could intimidate them a little, well, all the better for her. 

–

Violet had been escorted from her room early that morning. Thank fucking god that she had prepared herself for early wake-ups because no one ever wanted to deal with her cranky, sleep deprived self back home. She really could be such a bitch sometimes. 

Violet took a deep breath and put on her ‘I’m flawless, and you know it’ face and turned the corner into the workroom. 

“Ooh, La la, la-la-la-la.” ‘ _Nailed it._ ’

She turned to look at the other queens; she wished more than three saw her entrance, but she refused to let it deter her. She still had plenty of time to make a lasting impression on the others.

“Hi, Violet Chachki.” She held out her hand to greet the other queens. The two bigger girls, based on what they chose to wear, certainly did not impress.

“Violet Chachki? Now that’s a name I won’t forget. Miss Fame.” Miss Fame, on the other hand, that might be a problem. Violet smiled as she greeted Miss Fame; she could be polite after all. Fame’s immense skill with aesthetics, something Violet prided in herself, was so well regarded, but Violet refused to let herself feel intimidated by her. Violet would just have to prove that she had the better aesthetic and outperform Fame in the challenges. 

Another queen walked in. Max. Just Max. Violet somehow managed to hold back an eye-roll. Barely. ‘ _What is with that accent?_ ’ 

“Да ладно сезон семь.” 

Violet turned around and saw that a new queen had entered, all in red. Violet just managed to close her mouth before anyone could notice her shock. ‘ _Oh, my God. This bitch is from Russia. She has no idea where she is or what is going on._ ’

Katya made it! She couldn’t even believe that she was standing in that pink workroom. Her life really was turning around. 

That is, until she heard some rotted cunt murmur, “Ugh, I guess we needed a filler queen.” 

‘ _Really? Fifteen-seconds, and the bitch has already started,_ ’ Katya thought. ‘ _Well, best make do. They can’t all be lower-c cunts._ ’ 

Katya turned to face the five other queen. “девочки!” She trotted over to them and she introduced herself, after dropping the accent. 

“Is this Soviet Union Inspired?” Miss Fame asked after introductions were made. 

Katya still could not believe she had to compete against Miss Fame. ‘ _Well, great, I’m not winning._ ’ Her paint was just exquisite, barring the tape. Clearly, Fame would just steamroll over Katya’s cheap wardrobe. Sure, she worked hard on making her clothes, but Fame had freaking couture gowns! 

“No, it was actually my great-grandma’s army uniform,” Katya replied straight-faced, and she grinned inside as the other girls laughed; one loud laugh sounded like music to her ears. 

All the queens turned as they watch other queens come in and introduce themselves. When Trixie came in, Katya couldn’t help but wonder what on earth her face could have done to deserve such a beating.

“Well, someone’s gotta go home first,” Violet muttered under her breath.     
Katya chuckled at Violet’s brassiness, but she still agreed. “She seems great, but she’s not a threat,” she whispered to Violet. 

Violet barked out a laugh. She hadn’t intended for anyone to overhear her comment, but she did smile in gratitude and thank the high heavens that someone had a decent wit in this competition, even if it did come from the faux Russian queen. 

After all fourteen queens had entered, they gathered around the TV screen to watch the Ru-Vision. 

“What does it mean?” Pearl asked once the clip had ended. 

Luckily, none of the queens had to wonder for long. 

“Hello, hello hello!” Rupaul said as he entered the workroom. He walked down the stairs in a crisp white suit and stopped in front of them. “Welcome, ladies. Now, I hope you’re tucked tight and ready for the ride of your lives.”

“Yes,” the queens chorused back. 

Katya couldn’t even attempt to prevent the grin that took over her face. Rupaul was really standing in front of her. It wasn’t a dream; it was all real! She just wanted to touch him, and maybe have him pee on her. ‘ _Keep it together,_ ’ she snapped at herself. 

“Because everything you think you know about Rupaul’s Drag Race is about to change.” 

‘ _Wait, what?_ ’ Now Katya could barely prevent herself from panicking. She saw that many of the other queens had confused expressions on their faces. She took particular notice of Violet’s purple mouth falling open. ‘ _Did she really have to live up to her name that precisely?_ ’ 

“Your first challenge isn’t just a photoshoot. Oh, hell no! It’s a fashion week extravaganza.” 

‘ _YES!_ ’ Violet could scarcely believe it. Ru had given her the perfect challenge to absolutely decimate the competition. Only a bare hint of anticipation showed on her face though. A small smirk graced her lips. She had to make sure she didn’t let her excitement show too much; she didn’t want anyone to underestimate her and interpret her giddiness as immaturity. 

“To make an unforgettable first impression, you need to dig in your trunks and model two of your very best looks. One from your spring collection, and one from your fall collection. Your runway will be part of this week’s final evaluation. Kill it on the catwalk, or end up fashion roadkill. Your choice.”

‘ _They will all gag over my Tartan Eleganza,_ ’ Violet vowed. ‘ _Suitcase number two, and my spring should be in number three. I’ve got this one in the bag._ ’ 

“Gentlemen, start your engine’s, and may the best woman win!” Rupaul finished his speech, and the queens scurried to their suitcases and started ripping them open before he even left the room. 

All of them felt the frenetic energy as they all searched for their perfect outfits. Each queen laid claim to a work table where they’d lay out their various pieces. Violet and Katya ended up sharing table together. Violet laid out her two outfits, exactly where she remembered packing them, and she placed her two wigs on the mannequin heads she had carried over. She stripped out of her purple ensemble right next the table; she had a flawless body and felt no shame in baring it all. Violet had nothing to hide.

Katya had also laid out her two outfits. She thought, or, well, hoped that her fall outfit would go over well with the judges since she had incorporated Cheryl in with that dress, but she didn’t feel nearly as confident with her spring bodysuit and cape. Was it enough? Or would it be read as too cheap? She took a deep breath, and she glanced up only to have all the wind knocked out of her. 

‘ _Fuck that ass._ ’ Katya had a perfect view of Violet’s bare butt as she pulled up a pair of high-fashion looking red and white panties. Katya blinked and mentally smacked herself as Violet cinched on a garter belt. 

‘ _Focus_.’ Katya closed her eyes before she focused back on herself. She could think about the other queen, and her ass, after the challenge. She focused on her own clothes and made sure that she avoided watching Violet when she turned around to finish her look.

Violet zipped up her dress that perfectly embodied spring couture – bright colors, sparkle, and modern. She glanced around the room to see who could give her problems. She took note of Fame, already decked out in a gorgeous red number. 

‘ _As expected, she brought it._ ’ Violet narrowed her eyes as the corners of her mouth turned downward. 

Max and Pearl, who appeared to have lost the chinstrap, had also brought gorgeous, yet classic, outfits that Violet couldn’t help but admire. As Violet pinned her new hair in place, she made sure to keep her face impassive. It wouldn’t do well for her to show them that she was impressed this early in the game. Especially since no one else seemed to have brought anything high fashion. 

Katya had finally managed to pull up her outfit and pin her curly blonde wig into place. At this point she figured it was safe for her to look at the other girls.

‘ _Ugh, this bitch,_ ’ Katya thought the minute she took in Violet’s completed ensemble. ‘ _Clearly, I’m not winning this maxi-mini challenge. Oh my god, this girl at twenty-two is aesthetically the pinnacle of drag. How on earth can I compete with that?_ ’ Katya really hoped that she brought something passable to this challenge. 

The producers called for the queens to line up, and Katya ended up behind Jaidynn and in front of Mrs. Kasha Davis. Fifth. Fifth was good. It was fine. 

‘ _I wonder if she’s found her soulmate and if that’s why she is a Mrs.?_ ’ Katya slapped herself. Literally. Jaidynn had a shocked face with an open mouth when she looked back at her. Katya forced a smile in a failed effort to look normal and confident for the challenge, and Jaidynn just gave her a short nod before she turned away to chat with Max who stood in front of her. 

‘ _Come on. Focus, Katya. It’ll all be okay._ ’ 

Violet was honestly a bit miffed with her placement on the runway. ‘ _Twelfth? Seriously? Ugh._ ’ Her looks totally deserved to be seen either first or last on the runway, places of prominence, though, she smirked, not even Fame had that honor. No, Ginger and Sasha got those placements. What they did to deserve them with those mediocre outfits, Violet had no clue. ‘ _Well, I may not have a notable spot on the runway, but I’ll be the one wearing the crown._ ’ 

When Katya stepped onto the runway, she stopped breathing. Not only was Rupaul there, oh no, but Michelle, Mathu Andersen, Carson Kressley, and fucking Alaska were there! 

‘ _You don’t belong here,_ ’ a voice whispered in the back of her mind. 

Katya felt like she could throw up. What did she do to deserve this? ‘ _How could I have ever thought that I could do this?_ ’

‘ _You can’t. You’re not good enough._ ’ 

Throughout her inner monologue, she still walked the runway and did her best to ignore the judges. She just barely managed to remember to show off her cape with a flourish. Her lungs ached as she stepped off. She had held her breath through her entire walk. 

‘ _Whew. One down, one to go. At least this time, I’ll have Cheryl._ ’ Katya hugged the coonskin cap tight to her chest and breathed in the musk. Sure, the other queens gave her odd looks, but they just hadn’t met Cheryl yet. She placed Cheryl down on the table – though she made sure Cheryl’s head faced away, couldn’t have her be a peeping tom, no siree – and tore off her spring ensemble to prepare for the next runway. Part of her wanted to just quit. No way was she winning. ‘ _No. if I give up on this, what else could I give up on?_ ’ She wouldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up. She couldn’t. 

Violet watched Jasmine from the wings of the stage. ‘ _Seriously? The same outfit from before in a different print? And she thinks that is high-fashion? Please._ ’ She rolled her eyes as Jasmine left the stage.

‘ _Showtime._ ’

Violet stomped the runway with a carefully constructed aloof face. She hit her poses. She walked the walk. Perfect, as expected. As she stepped off the runway, she couldn’t restrain her satisfied smirk. The judges were going to gag over her fall look, and she couldn’t wait. 

She hurried back to her table and saw that Katya had already changed into a gown for the next runway. Violet cocked her head at the camouflage dress. ‘ _Interesting_.’ Trashy and tacky, yet somehow it spoke to her in a couture-like way, especially with the fur she spied on the table. 

“Nice dress. Maybe you have some level of taste after all,” Violet said as she stripped out of her own dress. 

Katya dropped the fur shawl she had been fingering as she waited for the producers to call for them to line up for the fall runway. Violet complimented her look. Seriously? Tension seemed to just seep out of her shoulders. If Violet, a queen with fashion that had already stunned Katya, thought her fashion didn’t suck, then maybe Katya didn’t have anything to worry about. 

‘ _Yet_.’

‘ _Shut up_.’ 

“Thanks,” Katya replied, though Violet didn’t seem to acknowledge it. 

Violet was too focused on pulling up her tartan eleganza. She had to make sure the reveal went off without a hitch. She stood in front of the mirrors as she pulled up her sleeves so that she could belt it. From the front, it looked perfect, but she couldn’t get a good angle to see if her back matched. She turned to look for the nearest queen. Katya.

“Katya, come here.” 

Katya had just placed Cheryl on her head when she heard Violet demand for her attention.

“Yeah?”

“Check my back for me. Does it look good?” 

All Katya could see was a tiny waist with androgynous curves. “Umm, yeah?”

“‘Umm, yeah?’ That’s it?” She could not believe that her outfit only warranted an ‘Umm, yeah.’ “Does it look good or not? This needs to be perfect.” 

Violet’s severe face took Katya aback. “Hey, calm down.” Katya saw Violet bristle. “You look stunning. Gorgeous, in fact. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you won the challenge based off of your spring look alone.”

The stress of making sure that she pulled off her ensemble’s reveal perfectly left her body at Katya’s praise. Validation for her craft gave Violet such an ego boost. 

“Thanks. But they haven’t even begun to gag over me yet.” Violet smirked.

Violet’s cockiness really was…something, Katya finally decided on. “Well, good luck.”

“Thanks, but I won’t need it. You take it.” Violet chuckled as she admired herself in the mirror.

Katya rolled her eyes, but, luckily, before it inevitably got awkward, production called them all over for the fall runway. When she walked out onto the runway the second time, Katya felt so much more relaxed. Interacting with Violet really helped calm her down. She left the runway actually feeling a little confident.  

Unable to get Violet out of her mind, especially since she really helped Katya make it through the challenge, Katya decided to wait in the wings to watch Violet’s walk. She also really wanted to see what outfit could invoke such cockiness. 

Seeing Jasmine in a purple trench-coat made Violet nervous for a second, but when she failed to even open the coat, Violet relaxed. ‘ _Why should she have been worried in the first place? Clearly none of them had made a two-in-one ensemble before._ ’ 

Violet stepped onto the runway in a stunning black ensemble with tartan gloves. She stomped down the runway like before, but this time, just before she reached the judges, she took off her belt. 

“Oh, oh, getting a reveal,” Michelle commented.

Violet spun in a circle and the sleeves fell off her shoulders, revealing an editorial silhouette. 

“Oh, g–Oh!” 

Violet mentally smirked as the judges freaked out; Carson nearly fell out of his chair even. Had it in the bag just as she thought. ‘ _That’s right. Being able to serve two looks in one is a talent._ ’

Katya’s jaw fell open when she watched Violet’s reveal. ‘ _No wonder she’s full of herself. The bitch has got it and then some._ ’ Katya left before Violet walked back up the runway; she did have to get in line for the final lap after all. She wasn’t running away from someone who clearly lived for the runway. Nope. Not at all.  



	2. Born Naked (Part Two)

“Oh my god. It’s nice to meet all of you.” Fame’s voice sounded throughout the workroom as all the queens stripped out of their drag and washed their faces. 

Katya went behind one of the clothing racks where she had already hung up her previous two outfits to completely de-drag. No one needed to see her naked body. She didn’t even let her tricks see her completely naked. Katya had already taken her wig off and laid it on her table to be dealt with later – Cheryl got a prime spot on top of a mannequin. Now, though, Katya just really needed to untuck and free her junk. 

After stripping out of her gag-worthy tartan eleganza, a bark of laughter escaped her lips as she remembered Carson’s flailing, Violet walked over to the rack she had claimed and hung it up. With her hair tied into a quick bun, Violet opened her suitcases and started unpacking and hanging up her other gorgeous outfits, though she made sure to check them all for any possible damages that could have happened in transit. No one would be able to stop the fit she’d have if she found her clothing ruined. She didn’t bother looking for anything to change into; she’d get dressed later. It’s not like she had anything to hide. Her lean and skinny body was flawless, and her moonlike soulmate mark only emphasized the slight curve of her hip. 

When Violet came across her comfortable grey hoodie, she pulled it on along with her green short shorts. She liked to show off her legs whenever possible. 

Katya had thrown on an old shirt, cargo shorts, and – at the last minute – her grey cap. No one needed to see her receding hairline. Once dressed, she stepped out to look at all the transformations.

‘ _Who the fuck are these people?_ ’ Katya made it a game as she unpacked her clothes, place each boy with their drag counterpart. As she did so, she came to a startling realization about all the fashionable queens. ‘ _Oh, they look good. Fuck._ ’

“Hello, hello, hello, ladies,” Rupaul announced as he barged through the door. All the queens froze for a moment before they scurried to line up in the front of the room. 

Rupaul walked down the stairs as regal as ever. Katya felt her knees shake a little. ‘ _Already?_ ’

“Well, well, well. This is the most Dragity season premiere ever!” The queens clapped and cheered. They all felt a little worn out after the fast pace of that runway challenge. “And we’re just getting started.”

‘ _Crap_.’

‘ _Still think you can handle it?_ ’

‘ _Shut up_.’

“Oh, pit crew!” Rupaul called out, and three handsome men, all nude, walked out. 

Violet’s eyes bugged out as a smirk overtook her face. ‘ _Now, those are some gorgeous men. Yum_.’ Her tongue licked the corner of her lips. 

“All right, ladies, the pit crew arrived in the buff ’cause for the first time in drag race herstory, you’ll be making your Main Stage debut…Naked and Afraid.” Half of the queens gasped while the other half stood in shocked silence. Katya clapped her hands over her mouth.

‘ _This can’t be happening; this can’t be happening; this can’t be happening…_ ’ Katya concentrated on just taking slow and even breaths. She couldn’t have a panic attack. Not now. ‘ _Please, not now._ ’

“You need to create a resort wear look that tears away to reveal a nude illusion. Because you are what? Hashtag born naked and the rest is drag.” As soon as Rupaul finished explaining their assignment left, the queens scrambled for the second time that day. 

Except for Violet. A smirk had overtaken her face when Rupaul had revealed that they had to create a tearaway. ‘ _I’ve got this in the bag_.’ She walked over the Fabric Planet wall and gravitated towards the lavender and pink lamé. 80’s does 50’s. Her fingers played with the material as her mind started to construct an outfit. Something sleek. And ruffles. 

Violet nodded to herself. ‘ _That’ll work_.’ She pulled out the fabric and cut an appropriate length off and hurried to a work table. Her sharp eyes only focused on her art. Who cared what anyone else made? Hers would be stunning, and her nude illusion? Well, there certainly wouldn’t be much to the illusion. 

Katya was worried. No, Katya was panicking. Of course she’d have to be naked for the first challenge! Why would anything go smoothly for her? 

‘ _Just stick to the Russian theme._ ’ She needed to play it safe, otherwise, she’d turn into a nervous wreck. ‘ _I can’t fall apart on the first day! I can’t_.’ Katya pulled down some simple red fabric and looked around for a pair of scissors.

“Hey.” Scissors appeared in front of her face. 

‘ _Magic? Can I have a $100,000 check and a crown too?_ ’ 

“Can I get a cut of that as well?” a slow voice asked. Katya looked up. Pearl. Fuck. He wanted the same fabric. They were both going to have the same fabric, which meant there would be compared, and how could Katya even compare to Pearl in looks? Fuck.

“S-sure. Of, course.” Curses! She had to be nice. 

Pearl indicated how much he’d like cut and held the fabric as Katya cut his and then hers. She waved him off, and he meandered off to his own worktable.

“Hey, kitty girls! How are my nudie patooties?” Rupaul had entered the workroom. 

Katya felt her heart start to pound as Rupaul made his way to her. She was going to get to talk to Rupaul!

“Well, hello, Katya. So, what do you have going on here?” Rupaul asked as he looked at the fabric on her table.

‘ _He wants to kill you_.’

Sweat started to drip down her forehead. “W-w-well, I was thinking of doing something red?” 

Rupaul’s face stayed carefully blank as he cocked his head a little. It almost looked like a mask, like he was hiding something. “Okay…Do you have a theme you’ve decided on?”

‘ _Yeah, he wants to kill you_.’

“Um, well, I-I thought I’d do something like a Russian hippy? And I’ve got, like, a flower crown?”

He stared at her, and she couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. ‘ _Fuck!_ ’ She stopped breathing. She couldn’t…she couldn’t…she couldn’t…He petrified her.

“Well, good luck then,” he said, though he looked at her oddly as he left. 

‘ _How am I going to get through this?_ ’

‘ _You won’t_.’ Katya shivered as goosebumps sprouted over her arms.

Violet was bent over her sewing machine as she pleated ruffles into the pink fabric she grabbed. It had to be perfect.

“Violet Chachki.”

Caught off guard, Violet looked up and grinned. “The lady-miss.” Violet put down her pleats and stood up. She could be polite when the occasion called for it, and she was using her time effectively so she had time to relax with Rupaul. 

Rupaul had come up to her for the expected workroom pep-talk. “So, who taught you how to sew?” 

“Oh, I’m self-taught; you know, my drag-mom definitely helped.” Sewing was such a passion for Violet. Creating silhouettes that flattered her shape or exaggerated it to extremes – she couldn’t wait to bring out her Death Becomes Her outfit – fulfilled her in such a personal way. Exploring and distorting societal views of gender really made Violet feel like herself. Being true to herself was all that mattered to Violet. She would never compromise on herself. 

“So, you were homo-schooled.”

Violet chuckled. “Very that.”

“So, what’s your inspiration for this look?” Rupaul asked as he looked at her ruffles. 

“Umm, I’m kind of going 80’s does 50’s.” 

“I don’t remember when those two intersected…” 

“They didn’t,” Violet chuckled, “but it’s just these fabrics are really 80’s.” Violet could see that Rupaul looked confused and a little concerned with her description of her look. ‘ _Whatever. He’ll know after this that he can trust me to always make something beautiful_.’ 

“Alright, get back to work, and I’ll see you on the Main Stage.” Rupaul smiled as he left to go talk to another girl. 

‘ _He should be more concerned with whatever Jasmine’s making over there. Cocoons? Seriously?_ ’ Violet rolled her eyes and got back to work.

–

After hours of work, and a pitstop at the hotel (they could only call it that since they basically just showered and slept before the staff woke them at the crack of dawn to get back to the studio), the queens stood at the vanities as they painted their faces in preparation for their Main Stage debut. 

Katya watched as the other queens pulled on nude body suits as she mentally started to prepare herself to strip down to just a thong.

‘ _Fuck. Why didn’t I think of that? Stupid. I’m so stupid. I have the body of a fifty-five year-old Irish rock climber, and all I’ll be wearing is a nude thong. What was I thinking?_ ’ Katya prayed that her tearaway would save her because clearly she already failed half of the assignment. As she lifted her shirt up, she grabbed the black eyeliner. If she was going out exposing her entire body, she’d at least go out in full Russian Red Hippy Realness. She colored in and darkened her sickle-shaped soulmate mark and doodled on a hammer. A perfect imitation of the Soviet Flag on her hip. 

“Is that your mark?” A southern voice asked. Ginger. 

“Oh, yeah,” Katya replied with a nervous smile. 

“Oh, it fits you perfectly. This is mine.” Ginger lifted her arm to reveal a small, misshapen blob on her inner bicep. “I always kind of thought it looked like a frog head.”

Katya barked out a laugh. “I see it, I see it!” she wheezed. 

“So, have you found Mr. Right?”

“Ah, no, no. No.” Katya sighed and looked down at the floor. “I’m, actually, kind of giving up on finding him. I mean, he’s probably out living a much better life anyway–”

“Stop that.” Ginger looked at Katya hard. She sat down next to Katya and grabbed her hand. “Nothing is more meaningful than finding your soulmate. Trust me on this. If I hadn’t found my husband when I did, I don’t know where I’d be today. Whoever your soulmate is will be so thrilled to have met you that they won’t even care what you do or what you’ve done. That’s what makes them your soulmate.”

Katya smiled at Ginger as she blinked away tears – she did not have time to repaint her face. “Thank you. I mean, really, thank you.”

“Oh, come here and give this ol’ fat lady a hug.”

Katya chuckled and did just that. It felt…nice. ‘ _Thank you_.’

Across the room, Violet listened to Fame and Trixie’s conversation as she painted her face; they made a pleasant background noise.

“So, your partner, are you guy’s, like, married?” Trixie asked.

“Yeah. We got married last year.”

“Soulmates?”

“Yep. The love of my life. He balances me out completely. He just, keeps me calm. What about you? You find your soulmate?”

“Oh, no. My boyfriend’s family, I went home with him for Christmas, and they liked me. And then they found out about drag, and they were, like, we don’t want you with someone who does this. Why don’t you wait for your soulmate? That whole deal.”

“Are you for real?” Pearl interjected. 

It was typical. While everyone in the world longed to find their perfect match, their soulmate, the statistics showed that most of the population never would. There were always diehard believers who believed in waiting for their soulmate and vowed to never be with anyone else. Many of them died alone. Those that actually found their soulmates, like Fame, were the lucky ones, but many people, like Trixie, dated and even eventually married other people. They lived with the chance that their marriage could fall apart if either one ever met their soulmate, which could leave the other heartbroken. 

Luckily, Violet had no worries over finding her soulmate because she had no intention of settling down with some. She was only twenty-two; she wanted to travel and make a name for herself. She had a career to focus on and a crown to win. 

After she finished with her makeup and pinned in her black wig, Violet glanced around the room at the other competitors. Nearly all of them had bodysuits. They all played it safe. ‘ _To win, you have to take risks_.’ Violet tucked her balls, taped her dick, slid into her black platform pumps, and slipped on her lavender tearaway.

The queens lined up for the runway. They all stood so silently that they could’ve heard a pin drop; a dream for so many of them was about to come true. 

Katya was first. ‘ _Why am I first? Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck_.’

The production staff signaled for her to go on. Katya took a deep breath and climbed the couple of steps to the Main Stage. ‘ _This is my dream. Why do I have to be naked? No. Relax. I can do this._ ’ She stepped into the spotlight. 

Katya walked down the runway, and when she made it to the end, she pulled down the shoulders of her poncho and let the red fabric fall to the ground, which left her in her hippy blonde wig, red boots, and thong. She really hoped that her hair covered enough to hide most of her naked body. As she walked from either end of the T-shaped runway, she did her best to ignore the fact that Rupaul sat behind the judging panel. 

‘ _He doesn’t want to kill me. He doesn’t_.’

When Katya got to the opposite end, she knew she had to do something for them to not forget her, so she bent over. ‘ _When in doubt, show them my asshole?_ ’ 

A sigh of relief escaped her once she finished and someone else took her place on the runway. It was over. Nothing left to do but wait and pray she didn’t end up in the bottom.

Violet watched as queen after queen climbed onto the runway in various colors of clothes and off in their nude illusions, most in painted bodysuits. Her skin tingled. She needed to be on that runway. She stood at the end of the line, the last on the runway, but the one they’d all be talking about at the end. 

When it was finally her time to shine, Violet let out a deep and relaxing breath. ‘ _I have this._ ’

She walked out down the runway and made sure to make eye contact with the judges just before she turned around. She untied her belt and let her dress slip down her shoulders, let it linger to expose her bare back. Her practice in the art of burlesque was such an asset for this runway. Violet let the dress pool onto the floor by her feet. She stood before the judges fully exposed, barring the jewelry, shoes, and tape. 

She stomped. She dipped. She posed.

‘ _I love my body, and I’m comfortable with just a piece of duct tape on and a smile_.’

When Violet stepped off the runway, she smiled. 

All the girls then came back out onto the runway. Rupaul called forward half of the queens. Katya’s name was in the first group. Violet’s name hadn’t been called. All the queens stood silent as they waited for Rupaul’s verdict. 

The first group was safe. 

Katya’s shoulders sagged in relief. ‘ _I made it. I’m not going home. I did something right_.’ The safe girls left the stage for to film Untucked.

Violet was in the top and bottom group. Her heart plummeted. ‘ _Please say that my risk paid off._ ’ She listened to the critiques as her heart hammered in her chest, listened for the positive and negative critiques so she could guess where everyone placed. Sasha – Negative. Tempest – Negative. Fame – Positive. Kennedy – Positive. Jasmine – Negative. Kandy – Negative. With each negative criticism, her heart unclenched a little. ‘ _I have to be in the top, right? Right._ ’

Violet’s turn. 

Carson began. “In the tartan look, when you put your thing down, flipped it, and reversed it, I almost fell off of my chair.” Violet smiled. She knew that ensemble would gag them.

But then, Michelle had her turn to speak. “And speaking about a reveal, I would have somehow liked to have seen it tszujed a little, ‘cause I’m getting boy.”

‘ _Michelle hates my body_.’ 

While Violet had wanted to gag the judges with her daring looks, she never expected Michelle to gag her with a comment on her body. Violet forced herself to remain still even if she really just wanted to cover and hide her body. Such a little thing suddenly turned everything sour.

Violet thanked Kathy Griffon for her praise over her revealing her “real boy body” and Ross Matthews for loving that she “took a risk,” but Violet just could not get Michelle’s comment out of her head. 

–

While those girls were critiqued, the other queens collapsed onto the large gold couch in the Untucked studio and gossiped. 

“Who was rubbing you the wrong way?” Ginger asked.

Katya chimed in, “Was anyone super annoying right off the bat? First day? Super annoying in the work room?” ‘ _Why am I babbling? What is wrong with me? Watch, they’re all going to say me now_.’

They all sat in silence. None of them wanted to be the first to name someone. 

“You can sit there and go, ‘Well, I don’t know anybody well enough.’ No, we are human beings, and we can go, ‘I get some kind of vibe off of you.’ I can tell if we’re going to get along. Like, I knew from our first conversation that Katya and I would get along great.”

Katya grinned up at Ginger. “Awww, thanks, Minjy.”

“Well,” Trixie began, “I don’t know about anyone else, but Violet seems like she’s going to be…” she trailed off.

“Bitchy?” 

“A cunt?”

“She does seem like she’s going to be difficult to work with.”

“I don’t think she’s all that bad,” Katya said as she recalled how Violet made her feel during the mini-challenge. 

All the queens broke into laughter. Katya couldn’t help but join in their ruckus as they all recalled various comments Violet had made. Her comments on Kasha’s man-arms, her shading the bigger queens when said that she had no fat to make boobs, when she wondered aloud who the filler queens were. Katya conceded that Violet was a cunt. Maybe not a rotted cunt, but a cunt all the same.

They continued to chat as they wondered what was happening on the Main Stage when they heard the click-clacking of heals headed towards them.

“Oh, look who’s here.” They watched as the top and bottom girls limped in after they had to stand in heals for the past hour. The safe queens moved off of the couch so that the others could sit somewhere comfortable. Their feet ached, everything hurt, and yet they all didn’t say a word. They were all subdued by the critiques. Violet propped herself onto the back of the L-shaped couch while Katya moved to sit in a chair on the opposite end of the room behind the couch.

“So, how was it?”

“It was nerve wracking,” Violet said. 

“So, do you all know where you placed? You know who won?” Kasha asked.

Violet shook her head as a frown tugged on her lips.

“Do you honestly not know, you honesty don’t know if you’re in the top or the bottom?” Katya asked. How could Violet not be in the top? 

“I honestly don’t know if I’m in top or bottom. They were like wishy-washy. Like, Michelle, like, sounded like she hated me.” As Violet remembered Michelle’s distaste for her body, she felt her skin start to crawl. She couldn’t keep sitting there with everyone else staring at her, judging her. She needed to cover up. 

When Violet got up to get her bag with her robe, Katya caught a glimpse of a crescent-shaped mark on her right hip, the exact same place where she had her own mark. 

Ginger noticed the mark as well. “Hey, Violet, is that your mark?” she asked when Violet came back in her muted violet robe. 

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s like a weird moon-thing.” Violet looked down at her hip and lifted the robe for all the queens to see. The mark looked like a crescent moon cut off with a short line. It looked just like a sickle. 

Katya’s hand drifted over to her own painted over mark. ‘ _It can’t be._ ’ Sound stopped. Katya couldn’t hear anything except for a faint buzzing noise. ‘ _Is she? It can’t be. Can it? Here?_ ’ Violet’s voice broke through the deafening silence as Katya stared at the mark. 

“Oh, I don’t really care about meeting my soulmate. I am in no way ready to settle down.”

“Hey, soulmates are wonderful. Not everyone even gets a chance, and if you meet him, you should be so thankful,” Fame said.

“Don’t care. I don’t need nor really even want a soulmate in all honesty. I like myself and making myself happy. Really don’t want my attention to be diverted to some soulmate.” Violet rolled her eyes as she covered herself back up.

Katya could have sworn she felt her heart crack. ‘ _It’s not her. It can’t be her._ ’

As the conversations dwindled, the queens went off into small groups and gathered in front of the mirrors to touch up on their makeup before they headed back to the Main Stage. 

As she stood back on the runway, Violet felt a knot in her stomach. She didn’t think she deserved to lip sync, but who knew? 

“Violet Chachki.” Rupaul announced. Violet’s heart pounded, though she made sure that she kept her face relaxed. “On the runway and on the Main Stage, you took fashion risks, and they paid off. Big time. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.” 

A grin spread from cheek to cheek on Violet’s face that she didn’t even try to hold back.“Yay! Oh, my god.” She laughed before walking to the back of the runway as her body thrummed from joy. After she stepped down the stairs, she leaned into Katya’s naked side and just breathed out a sigh full of relief. 

Katya couldn’t help but lean back into Violet, and she looked over Violet’s shoulder to look at the mark again, up close this time. Sure enough, it looked just like her own. But Violet didn’t want her. She didn’t want a soulmate at all. 

‘ _Who would want a disaster like you?_ ’ 

Katya felt her heart crack a little more. She couldn’t tell Violet. Not now. She couldn’t live with a shattered heart. 


	3. Glamazonian Airways

The queens walked back into the workroom after Tempest’s elimination, and as they read Tempest’s goodbye message, the reality of their situation started to hit all of them. Every challenge, someone would go home. 

Katya couldn’t let herself dwell on that. She just couldn’t, not if she wanted to stay, and definitely not if Violet really was her–

‘ _No! Stop that. She’s not. She can’t be…_ ’

Katya needed to focus on someone else – something else.  Positivity. Positivity. She needed to get a positive conversation flowing again. 

“Well, condragualations, girl,” Katya said to Violet as all the queens circled around the table. 

Violet smirked. “Thank you.” It was definitely nice being acknowledged as the best of the week, or, in reality, couple of days. 

“How does that feel?” Ginger asked. 

‘ _Yes! Let’s get a good, uplifting banter going!_ ’

“I hate Michelle Visage.” Violet checked her nails. 

All the queens froze, shocked into silence. Katya clasped a hand to her mouth. ‘ _Seriously? We can’t focus on the good for five minutes? And she’s supposed to be–No, no, scratch that thought. No._ ’

Kasha eventually sputtered out, “What?” which Ginger quickly followed with, “Girl?”

‘ _Really can’t stand that bitch. She was so in the wrong._ ’ “What she said just rubbed me the wrong way. To be honest, she probably has a bigger man-body than I do without her implants.” 

“You know you’re going to get negative criticism no matter what,” Kasha replied. 

“It wasn’t tasteful the way she said it. It was just, like, ‘eww,’ Michelle.” ‘ _It’s not like you were even there with that basic safe look of yours. You weren’t the fucking one who had to have your naked body criticized and deemed ‘too boy,’ and what the fuck did she even mean by that? Who the fuck is she to even decide on what’s boy and what’s girl? Fuck her._ ’ Violet made sure to keep most of her tirade to herself. The producers clearly had plenty of footage already from her earlier comment about Michelle; she didn’t need to fan the flames to the point of her possibly getting kicked off early because of a difference in opinion, hers being the right opinion of course. Violet’s agitation with Michelle’s critique still had her muscles all tense. ‘ _I need a fucking hot bath tonight._ ’

The queens stripped out of their drag, or, in Violet’s case, just put on clothes, and then left for their hotel.

–

The queens were woken up early the following morning. They were taken to the studio and directed to a table to have small talk, and then directed over to watch the Ru-Vision. As they contemplated what Rupaul’s airplane references meant, Rupaul entered the workroom. 

“Hello, hello, hello. Condragulations, ladies.”

‘ _Of fucking course_.’ Violet smirked, ready to slay the next challenge.

“For today’s mini-challenge, you need to give face, face, face while the pit crew blows you…” all the queens had measures of shock and glee plastered to their faces, “with a leaf-blower,” that lasted until Rupaul finished. 

The girls ran around the room as they threw on a twenty minute hair and paint job. A few pulled out decent looks while others looked really rough. Violet hated that she didn’t have enough time to perfect herself. She took pride in her appearance and being forced to only put together a slapdash look made her skin crawl. 

‘ _This is so stupid,_ ’ she thought as she sat in front of a leaf-blower. She tried to give a good face, but having powerful air blowing her lips back made it extremely fucking difficult. 

When they had all finally finished, Violet couldn’t hep but cross her arms as she stood in line as Rupaul announced Trixie and Ginger as the winners of the mini-challenge. She just wanted to clean off her horrible makeup job and let her hair back down. 

“Now, for this week’s maxi-challenge, get ready for a lip sync palooza as you’ll be performing a mashup of spoken word and song – the safety preflight video for hashtag Glamzonian Airways. You’ll be working in two teams. Ginger and Trixie, you get to pick the crews and assign the parts.”

‘ _Finally. Let’s get to the actual competition._ ’ Violet paid attention to who the team leaders picked, curious as to whom they’d pick. ‘ _Really?_ ’ Violet thought when Ginger first picked Sasha. When Trixie picked Pearl, Violet chalked it up to them knowing each other prior to Drag Race. Ginger then picked Jasmine, and Trixie chose Fame. Ginger grabbed Kasha. Trixie snagged Katya. Violet moved her hands to behind her back, and she squeezed her fingers together. Jaidynn. Max. When Ginger picked Kennedy, only Violet and Kandy, the lip syncer from last night, remained. 

‘ _Why aren’t they picking me? I just won the first challenge, and they aren’t choosing me…_ ”

“Violet,” Trixie sang as she picked Violet. 

Violet pasted on a little smile as she joined the prettier looking group. ‘ _I’ll show them. They’ll see that they should have picked me from the start when I dominate this challenge._ ’

Katya grit her teeth together as Violet joined her team. She didn’t know if she wanted to pull Trixie into a high energy jig or collapse at the thought of working in proximity with Violet. ‘ _It’s not her. It’s not her. It’s not her_.’

After Rupaul dismissed them, Trixie’s team moved over to the couches to go over their script. 

“So does anyone lip sync really well?” Trixie asked.

“Duh.” Violet threw her head back and laughed. Katya couldn’t tear her eyes away from Violet’s long neck. Her mouth watered as thoughts of nibbling Violet’s Adam’s apple popped into her head. 

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Anyway, do you think we should listen, or maybe we should–”

“Whatever we do, we’ve got to figure it out soon, ’cause–”

“Should we all just listen?” Trixie spoke over Violet. “Because when we’re talking, we’re not what? Listening.”

The air chilled around them as Violet leaned back into the couch. ‘ _Seriously, Bitch? We’ve got to get this done so we can fucking learn our parts now_.’ 

After they listened to the number at Trixie’s instance, she started to assign the roles. 

“I’d like that monologue,” Katya said, “I love doing spoken word.” ‘ _I can do this. This is my chance to prove why I’m here. I can totally win this challenge_.’

When Rupaul came over to check on their group, Violet had moved from the couch to a chair off to the side from the other queens. No one really wanted to sit near her, so why should she want to sit by them?

“So, Trixie, how are you feeling about your team?” 

“I have an amazing team.” Trixie smile at everyone, though she avoided meeting Violet’s gaze. 

“So, you can act, right?” Trixie nodded. “Any other girls here have acting experience?”

No one raised their hand. Katya’s eyes bulged. ‘ _Seriously?_ ’ How could their team do a passable job if no one else had any experience? Katya was already concerned about Fame because of her known lack of experience in performing, and now Katya was stuck in a team full of young inexperienced girls. ‘ _Seriously?_ ’ 

After questioning Miss Fame himself, Rupaul turned his attention to Katya. “Now, Katya, don’t you have a dance background?” 

‘ _You, a dancer? Pfft_.’ Katya felt like a deer in headlights. She couldn’t let it show though. She couldn’t lose it yet. 

“A little bit. I wouldn’t call myself a dancer per say, but I can move my body in a compelling way; usually it compels people to leave the room, but…” Katya couldn’t even finish because of the laughter that erupted from her group. She took particular notice of Violet’s guffaws. ‘ _At least I’ve got my humor going for me._ ’

– 

Trixie’s team had moved onto learning their choreography with Jamal Sims. 

After greeting everyone, Jamal asked, “Who’s queen one?” 

“That’s me.” Katya pranced forward. ‘ _I can do this._ ’

“You have your whole speech?”

“Not yet…” ‘ _I’ll get it. I’ll get it_.’

“Anyway, let’s go.” Jamal directed Katya through some simple choreography that Katya picked up pretty easily. Much easer than memorizing her monologue. After Katya proved that she knew all of her movements, Jamal said, “Okay, just make sure you learn that monologue now, and you’ll be golden.”

Katya forced a hesitant smile on her face. “I will.”

‘ _You sure about that?_ ’

While Violet stood off to the side and did the simple hip movements of the background performers, she watched Katya garble her monologue and Fame and Pearl mutilate their featured part. ‘ _They better get their shit together soon. I can’t win if the group flops_.’ 

Jamal then turned his attention to Violet. She had demanded for the seatbelt bit the minute she heard it play. She had the smallest waist in Rupaul’s Drag Race history and wanted people to see it. “Alright, Violet, you’re going to come center. Then when you say, ‘There to make you skinny,’” Jamal pointed at Pearl and the seatbelt, “you’re going to take it and ‘tighter, tighter’ all the way around her,” he looked at Violet, “and you’re just like, ‘it’s skinny.’” 

Violet nodded. ‘ _Got it._ ’  

“Alright, here we go.” 

They ran through that section of the number, and Violet hit all of her marks. Well, at least the parts that Pearl didn’t flub up. 

“Bitch, you’ve gotta pull it fuckin’ tight. Get it, like, right on that waist.” Pearl just looked at her with no emotion at all on his face. “And I’ll have the cincher on underneath, so really tighten it.” ‘ _They’re going to fucking see my waist, and you won’t mess it up for me_.’

“I don’t have time to tighten it all the way, run around you, and tuck it into your fuckin’ belt. Just tighten it all the way.” 

Katya held her breath as she watched Violet and Pearl’s confrontation. ‘ _Please stop. Please stop, please stop._ ’

‘ _Seriously, bitch?_ ’ Violet clenched her jaw. While she wanted to lay into Pearl’s laissez faire attitude to the assignment, she also saw the exasperated looks that the rest of her team gave her. She didn’t want to cause even more tension in the group, not if she wanted them to win. Violet restrained from rolling her eyes, though she did huff as she walked away from Pearl. She’d concede this time. 

Katya let out a breath as her body relaxed. 

When the teams switched places, Trixie had them all go over the routine. “We don’t have time to struggle with the choreography.” Trixie clenched her fists each time Katya messed up the opening monologue. “Come on, Katya, get it together, girl.”

Katya nodded her head like a bobble-head doll. “Yeah, yeah. I will.” 

“Why don’t we just take a break?” Pearl’s monotonous voice asked. 

“Maybe because some of us are here to win,” Violet snapped back. 

Trixie looked at Violet for a moment. “Pearl’s right. Everyone, go take, like, twenty, to go over your parts individually. We’ll get back together after.” Trixie went off to sit with Fame to go over their parts in front of a mirror while Pearl collapsed into a chair to listen to the song and Max blocked out his parts in a corner. 

‘ _My fault, my fault, my fault…_ ’

When Violet stomped passed Katya as she headed to the opposite side of the workroom, Katya felt compelled to apologize. “I’m sorry.”

Violet paused her march and turned to face the other queen. “Sorry? For…?”

“For not getting my lines memorized.”

“Bitch, stop that. You need to fucking relax. It’s not like you’re fucking up the choreo like half of them are.”

“But if I fuck this up, I could go home.”

“Well, yeah, so don’t fuck it up.” Violet laughed. “You have all night to get it. And if you do suck, just make sure you don’t suck as bad as Pearl or Fame. I mean, they clearly don’t have any rhythm, so you’d really have to fuck it up.”

“Thanks?”

“You’ve got this. Now, learn that monologue, Bitch!” Violet walked off and put on her earphones to go over her part. Even if she already had it memorized, it didn’t hurt to go over it again. She really did hope that Katya would get it together though. Part of Violet didn’t want to see the other queen leave so soon, especially with so many weak contestants still in the race. 

Eventually, Trixie gathered her team back up to rehearse as a group once again until the producers wrapped them up and herded all the queens to the vans to take them back to the hotel. Katya ended up in the back of a van with Violet as Kennedy and Jasmine chattered about their lives and got to know each other better. 

“God, could they be anymore incompetent?” Violet whined. 

“Who?”

“Fame and Pearl, duh!” Violet dropped her head on Katya’s shoulder. 

‘Wha’?’ Katya froze. She literally couldn’t move a muscle. “I mean, they’ll get it.” 

“Better fucking hurry. We are not going to be the losing team. By the way,” Violet looked up and Katya felt her body cry out for the contact to return, “have you almost got your monologue yet?” 

“Umm…I’ll get it.” 

“You better, Bitch. I’d rather see the two of them send each other home.” Violet laid her head back on Katya’s shoulder and closed her eyes. 

“…K.” 

Violet just hummed a little before she fell silent for the rest of the car ride. The tenseness of Katya’s muscles seemed to just seep out as Violet leaned against Katya.

‘ _Maybe…?_ ’

–

Too bad the feeling didn’t last. 

As soon as Katya was secluded back in her hotel room, her mind went blank. Every line, every word of her monologue just…POOF! It all vanished from her head. It was like Mr. Clean scrubbed every inch of her brain clean, like she had never even listened to the song.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…what was it?” 

Katya’s heart sped up. She panted as her breath became short. “Fuck! How does it start again? Umm, ‘Welcome aboard, welcome aboard…’ Shit! And then what?” 

She grabbed the mp3 player and mumbled along with the monologue. “‘Hey, everybody for joining us this evening. Welcome aboard, welcome aboard. I’m Miss Valerie Valentine. I’m your economist slash court stewardess…’ Why can’t I get this fucking memorized?”

‘ _Because you don’t deserve to be here._ ’

The air became cold. Shivers racked up her body as goosebumps spouted up her arms and legs. How could she have ever thought that she could do this? Maybe it was all a mistake…

Katya lay on her bed throughout the night and just replayed their performance song and the lip sync song over and over until dawn. 

In another hotel room, Violet also became lost in her own thoughts, though she didn’t spend her entire night awake. As Violet laced up her corset for bed – she refused to let her body get lazy; if she wanted her Death Becomes Her corset to gag, her body had to be ready for it at all times – she wondered why she got picked second to last. She had slayed that first challenge. They should have clamored for her. Instead, they chose their friends.

Violet scoffed. ‘ _Friends. Ha!_ ’ Making friends wouldn’t win the race. Being the fucking best and making winning decisions would, meaning picking the fucking best when choosing teams. And clearly, Violet already proved to be on top of this whole competition. 

‘ _Next time. They’ll want me next week (I hope)_.’ Violet tossed her head at that last thought. They’d want her. She’s make them want her by proving that she was a force to be reckoned with two challenges in a row. She would. 

Violet brushed out her hair and got into bed. She buried herself into the sheets and shut her eyes. ‘ _I will_.’

–

The next day, the queens entered the work room and got ready for their performances. Trixie asked her team if they were all ready, and Violet noticed Katya had dark circles under her panicked stricken eyes. Violet pushed it to the side and focused on herself. Katya would get through it. 

Trixie’s team performed first. Violet pasted a smile on her face as soon she stepped onto the stage. When Katya walked passed her during her Valerie Valentine monologue, she watched Katya flub every single word. Violet’s cheeks became strained as she forced the smile to stay on her face. ‘ _Fuck_.’

‘ _Fuck_.’ She couldn’t get it. Katya just could not get the damn monologue to stick. ‘ _Too late now_.’ 

Katya couldn’t let herself dwell on her huge faux pas at the beginning of the number. She had to continue like she never messed up. She watched as Pearl successfully did his duet part and Violet nail her seatbelt bit and felt her stomach churn. It became easier during Max’s oxygen bit; bending down and looking at Violet’s ass and wondering if she padded or if her ass was really that nice looking gave Katya a much more pleasant thought to ponder over. Katya felt like she ended strong. Maybe it could help. Possibly?

–

Katya knew she was in the bottom group, so it was no surprise to her that she was left on the Main Stage for critique. Why did she have to be first though? 

Jordan Sparks, one of the guest judges, started her critique with a compliment at least. “You’re like Hawaiian Barbie airline flight attendant, and I love it.” Katya felt a little better. At least her outfit seemed to be able to hold it’s own. 

“But with that said,” Michelle said, “you were given the biggest monologue and didn’t know the words.” 

Katya understood. She fucked up. She failed. She could only own up to it. “I don’t know what the fuck happened.” 

Next up was Violet. Her second time on the Main Stage for critique. Violet stood tall and made sure to exude confidence. She couldn’t understand why Katya just rolled over and let them be right. Violet knew that Katya was so much better than that and that lack of confidence would just send her straight to the bottom. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. 

Guest judge Olivia Newton John began. “I love your outfit.” 

Violet smiled. ‘ _Of course you do_.’ 

“Her outfit’s a little greasy,” Carson joked.  

Violet laughed. ‘ _Well, I guess bullet shells could look like fries. Easy mistake to make_.’ 

“You were so great in the skit. It wasn’t super over the top; it was funny,” Jordan Sparks continued with the praise. Violet felt great. 

Michelle then looked at Violet. Violet felt her stomach start to twist as she remembered how Michelle made her feel the last time she critiqued her. Violet prayed that she wouldn’t feel like shit again after Michelle’s critique. “The one thing I’m noticing about you is that I think you take yourself rather seriously,” Violet nodded to herself since she agreed with that statement, “but underneath there’s this clown, so I’m waiting for her to come out.” 

Violet relaxed. ‘ _Okay. That wasn’t so bad. I think I can give Michelle what she wants_.’

The judges went through the rest of the critiques; Fame and Sasha were also clearly in the bottom three with Katya. They were then sent backstage to join the rest of the queens for Untucked. 

They walked into the Untucked studio, and Violet announced, “I am so sick of carrying this suitcase.” The safe queens rolled their eyes as they moved for the returning queens who then collapsed onto the sofa and chairs with aching feet and backs. 

Jaidynn broke the ice. “Who actually messed up? Did anyone mess up, like, the actual routine?” 

Katya raised her hand. “Oh, yeah.” ‘ _I fucked up so bad._ ’

‘ _And you know why? Because you’re a–_ ’

Violet reached her hand over Pearl and placed it on Katya’s arm. “You were setting yourself up for negativity,” she squeezed Katya’s arm, and Katya couldn’t breathe, “so I don’t even really know how they felt about you because you brought up the bat, like, ‘I suck.’”

‘Wha’?’ Katya leaned back, and Violet’s hand became dislodged from her arm. Katya could breathe again, but now she felt untethered. “How could I not admit that? How could I not admit th-? How could I be like, ‘I think I did great’?”

‘ _Really, Bitch? You never let them see you sweat_.’ 

“Messin’ up and all, I would’ve been, like, I did fabulous,” Jaidynn said.

Violet agreed. “Be like, ‘I was feeling myself, I was having such a good time, la la la…’”

“Girl, you didn’t see me?” Kennedy continued. 

The queens all laughed. ‘ _Maybe I should have tried to defend myself, I guess…_ ’

‘ _Too bad you were too incompetent to realize that in the first place_.’

“That was your bad, stupid,” Pearl cut in. “That could have been Violet up there.”

Violet bristled. She couldn’t tell how serious Pearl was. Did he want Violet in the bottom two? ‘ _No. It was a joke. Wasn’t it?_ ’ She couldn’t let go of the fact that she was the last one picked for her team though, but she refused to let them see how uncomfortable the comment made her feel. “Ha ha ha. How does it feel to be safe, Pearl, again?”

After engaging in miscellaneous small talk, Katya went off to the vanity to practice the lip sync song. She knew she was in the bottom. No other option. She had a good talk with Ginger outside as she tried to calm down with a cigarette, but now she had to focus. She couldn’t fuck up two lip syncs in the same day.  

“You going to fuck up this lip sync like the last? Because I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Katya looked over to her left, and, sure enough, Violet had to touch up her makeup right next to her. 

“Really? I thought I’d just translate the entire song into Russian and dance a Barynya.”  


Violet threw her head back and laughed, and her shoulders shook from the force of the laughter. Katya couldn’t help but take some pride in being able to make the biggest bitch laugh so honestly. 

Once Violet calmed down, she turned stoic. “Seriously, Bitch. Send Sasha’s ass packing because you’ve got so much more to show here. Like, you’ve got a good week’s worth of good material before you’re all dried up,” Violet joked. She left Katya with a wink so Katya could focus on perfecting her lip sync for her life because she did want Katya around longer. She made Violet laugh.

Katya couldn’t really tell for sure, but she thought Violet was joking at the end of her little…pep talk? It was hard to tell from her deadpan voice. Either way, Katya felt a little better about lip syncing. She knew this song. She had the tricks and the right outfit to really nail it. 

They all went back out to the Main Stage, and Violet was announced as safe nearly immediately. Once she stood in the back, her eyes drifted to Katya. She knew after Katya’s admittance to fucking up that she would lip sync, but she still hoped it would be Fame and Sasha. Sasha clearly couldn’t keep up with the rest of them, and she wanted to see Fame knocked down a peg. Sue her. As long as Fame was here, she would be Violet’s main competition on the runway. 

Katya clapped so hard for Ginger’s win; she felt so proud. Ginger truly deserved it based off of her performance. After everyone else left the Main Stage, barring Sasha, already announced for the bottom two, Fame, and Katya herself, Rupaul turned to address her.

“Katya, you’re outfit is a Xanadu, but your lip sync was a real Xana-don’t.” 

Rupaul turned to address Fame, though Katya didn’t take in a single word. She already knew she was in the bottom. ‘ _Just get it over with_.’ 

“Katya, I’m sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination. Two queens stand before me. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life! Good luck, and don’t fuck it up.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Katya saw Sasha start off the song with some dynamic looking body movements. She quickly tuned her out. ‘ _No distractions_.’

_Do we deserve a second chance?_

Katya knew she deserved a second chance. She did. She just had to prove it. Katya did everything she could to just embody Olivia Newton John’s song. 

She jumped into the splits. 

_It’s gotta be a strange twist of fate  
Telling me that Heaven can wait_

Katya had to just pound her vagina into the floor of that stage. She heard several girls cheer. She hoped it was for her. Katya moved to the center of the center of the stage. A prime focal spot for everyone to see her.

_Love is what we’ve found  
The second time around_

Katya arched her back until she could nearly just fall back into a bridge. From her left side, she could she Violet dancing along as she stared straight at Katya with a huge grin on her face. Katya brought herself back to an upright position with even more energy. 

‘ _It is her._ ’ 

Katya slowly glided into a second slow split. She made sure to show off her muscle control as she took plenty of time to gracefully fall to the floor. Katya had to stay now. No other option. She had to. 

Once they finished, Katya adjusted her tuck as she awaited Rupaul’s verdict. ‘ _Please. Oh, God, please_.’

“Katya, shantay you stay. You may join the other girls.”

Katya released a breath she hadn’t even realized she held. “Thank you.” Katya walked back and stood next to Ginger. She really had to think about what she’d do about Violet. 


	4. Shakesqueer

The queens sat around backstage, told to be quiet, as they waited for Sasha to finish recording her exit in the workroom. Katya was sitting next to Ginger when she saw Violet walk on over and plop herself down next to her.  


“See,” Violet whispered, “now, if you brought that, maybe you could have beaten that glamour toad over there.”

“Ah! You bitch.” Ginger reached over Katya to smack Violet’s knee. 

Violet laughed, which caused production to glare and shush their little group. A smile blossomed on Katya’s face. ‘ _Do I? No, no. Not tonight. Need to talk it over with myself…maybe I’ll bring Cheryl back with me to the hotel as well so I don’t feel like a complete freak talking to myself_.’

Eventually, the girls were all directed to head back into the workroom. 

“So, Katya, how did it feel?” Ginger asked once they all stood around the table.

“It was the most stressful thing I have ever done in my life.” ‘ _Forgetting my monologue was stressful. Having to lip sync for my life was stressful. Oh, and finally coming to terms with the fact that my soulmate is literally staring at me with no idea we’re soulmates is also incredibly stressful._ ’ “Not screwing up next challenge, that’s for sure.”

“Well, here’s hoping, girl.”

After some light chitchat, the queens started to get out of their drag. 

“Girl, how do you get this so tight?” Fame asked Violet as she loosened the strings on Violet’s underbust corset.

“Oh, ah! This is nothing, and careful, Bitch. Ah!” Violet could have sworn that Fame pulled it tighter on purpose for a second there, though she had no way to know for sure. Once Violet had gotten her corset off, Fame left to finish getting out of her own outfit, a failed look according to the judges, Violet smirked. As she got out of her bodysuit, Violet just listened to the cacophony of voices that filled the air with their idle chatter, not really focused on any conversation until she heard her name.

“…Tired-ass, long horse-face Violet.”

‘ _Wha’?_ ’ Violet whipped her head around and saw Jasmine and Kennedy laughing together. ‘ _They’re not worth it. Especially once I have the crown._ ’ 

She turned back to herself, though she cursed her ears as they seemed to just focus on Jasmine’s voice from that moment on. 

“…send all them bitches home. Especially Violet. Where’re your panties, girl? We don’t want to see that Barbie-girl mannequin pussy.”

Violet grit her teeth together as she slid her nude thong off. She would not feel self-conscious in her own body. Not again.

“Cover that ass up.”

‘ _It’s not worth it._ ’ 

“Panties, bitch.”

– 

The next day, Friday, finally, the queens entered the workroom. Katya had planned to figure out what to do about Violet, but she hadn’t anticipated passing out as soon as she sat down on her bed. The previous all-nighter plus all the stress over the past week had taken a toll on Katya’s body, and she had fallen asleep immediately. She hadn’t even had time to take a shower. ‘ _This weekend. Will figure it all out this weekend._ ’ 

A Ru-Vision and a mini-challenge later – ‘ _Granny challenge? Really?_ ’ – and Rupaul announced Max and Kennedy as the team leaders of this “week’s” challenge. 

“Now, ladies, the word drag was first used by Shakespeare as an acronym for ‘Dressed as a girl’ back when all the female roles were played by men. For this week’s maxi-challenge, you’ll be acting in a comedic adaptation of two Shakespeare classics, _Romy and Juliet_ , and my favorite, _MacBitch_. Hashtag Shakesqueer!”

‘ _Acting, okay, I can do this._ ’

Rupaul directed Max and Kennedy to pick their picks. Max called for Ginger. Violet nodded to herself; she remembered Ginger saying that she had done a lot of theatre growing up. Kennedy called Jasmine, and Violet rolled her eyes at the blatant show of friendship. Trixie, Katya, and Kasha each got called, the comedy queens. ‘ _It’s fine_.’ Pearl, Jaidynn, and Kandy were then picked up which left Violet standing next to Fame. Violet was in the bottom two again. ‘ _Why am I getting picked last again?_ ’

“Now, Max who do you want on your team?” 

Max looked at each of them for a moment. “Fame.” 

Violet looked down at the floor. ‘ _Really? Why don’t any of them want me?_ ’

“Which means Violet Chachki is on Team Kennedy Davenport.” 

Violet rose her head high as she joined her team. ‘ _Fuck them_.’

Once Kennedy’s team sat down on the couches, Kennedy pulled out their script. “Let’s see what this _MacBitch_ is about.” Kennedy looked at the cast list and glanced through the script. “Okay, I think I’m ready to assign. Lady MacBitch, ‘the pretty one, the ambitious, ruthless, wannabe mean girl,’ that sounds like Violet.” 

The team chuckled while Violet sat in silence. ‘ _Of course. At least the role is perfect for me._ ’ 

Katya noticed that Violet looked annoyed, upset even, and her laughter cut off. 

After the rest of their laughter teetered off, Kennedy continued. “Laquisha Keana MacBitch, ‘the tough ghetto one.’”

“I don’t want to be the ghetto girl,” Jasmine interrupted. “That’s so common. I can really turn myself into Lady MacBitch.”

‘ _Really, Bitch?_ ’ Violet watched as Kennedy nodded along to Jasmine. 

“I kinda don’t want to put people in their comfort zone. So, Violet, I would like you to be ghetto.”

“We have an hour to get this down. So, we need to figure it out.”    
“Yeah, it’s figured out. You’re Laquisha Keana MacBitch, okay?” 

‘Fine.’ “You’re the team leader, so whatever you want, boo-boo.” It wasn’t worth the effort for Violet to argue. They only had a short amount of time, and Violet really just wanted to get her lines down and start rehearsals. Violet figured she could just power through whatever Kennedy decided to put her through.  

When they did a read-through though, and Jasmine flatlined. 

“‘This is so not your gig.’”

Violet couldn’t prevent herself from rolling her eyes. ‘ _This is what you get by trying to make friends instead of focusing on the fucking competition and why I’ll make it to the end and you won’t._ ’

Kennedy attempted to work on Jasmine’s delivery. “When you go, ‘this is so not your gig,’ you be like, ‘this is sooooo… not your gig.” 

“More Regina George,” Violet chimed in, using a pop culture example. Regardless of what they thought of her, Violet still wanted her teammates to do well. She wanted them to win. 

Kennedy and Jasmine ignored her. “Let’s just continue on. Violet, your line.”

“‘Basic-– Basic bitches not wanted. Head cheerleader is gonna be me, Laquisha Keana, that’s right!’” Violet rolled her head, feeling her inner ghetto girl. ‘ _I’ve got this. I’m totally serving it out._ ’

Katya just barely prevented herself from cringing at Jasmine and Violet’s line readings. ‘ _What on earth was Kennedy thinking? I can’t be in the bottom again. I can’t._ ’ 

Kennedy, as if answering Katya’s prayers, said, “Um, I want to make a judgement call ’cause I just don’t feel comfortable. I need, uh, Jasmine and Violet to switch characters.” Kennedy looked at Jasmine. “Jasmine, just be the ghetto girl, and make it work.” She didn’t say anything to Violet.

‘ _Thank you, oh merciful deities!_ ’

‘ _Thank God._ ’ Not wanting Kennedy to see her relief, Violet said out loud, “Bitch, I already gone done fill my ghetto fantasy.” Out of her ghetto character, Violet turned to Jasmine. “Let’s switch scripts.” Violet flipped through her new script and realized that she had been far too focused on her previous character’s lines. She only had the barest memory of Lady MacBeth’s lines and cues, and she looked to Kennedy. “I think we should definitely run through it right now.” 

“No, no, just read on your own.” The team dispersed to their own corners of the room.

Violet looked down at her new script as her heart started to race. Her fingers tugged at her bottom lip as she walked across the workroom to sit off to the side from everyone else. ‘ _Why the fuck did no one think I was right? I was totally right. We should be fucking practicing together! We’re a team. It just doesn’t make sense, unless…_ ’ Violet cut her train of thought off. ‘ _No, focus._ ’ She didn’t have time to ponder over the whys; she had to learn her lines. Perched on a stool, Violet bent over her script as she read her lines over, and over, and over… 

Katya was worried. She didn’t know if they had enough time, especially since Jasmine and Violet had to learn new parts. Her insides churned as guilt ate away at her for not standing up for Violet, but she just…couldn’t. Katya couldn’t confront anyone. When she watched Violet walk away from everyone, she considered going up to Violet and rehearsing with her. She even took a few steps towards her, but the absolute focus on Violet’s face as she flipped through the pages and murmured lines to herself stopped Katya in her tracks. 

‘ _No. No, I don’t want to interrupt her system_ ,’ she convinced herself, though she knew she was just lying to herself. She wasn’t ready for a one-on-one conversation with Violet. 

When it came time to perform, Kennedy’s team did as well as Violet expected. They sucked. Jasmine knew none of her lines, Kennedy and Kandy missed their cues, and Pearl walked into a fucking tree. How she walked into a tree, Violet would never understand unless she actually managed to get high right before they went on. The only bright spot was that at least Katya didn’t screw up this time. She didn’t know why, but Violet kind of liked the other queen. Just a little, but enough to not want to see her go home, at least not before the bitter bitches like Kennedy and Jasmine who clearly tried to throw her under the bus. ‘ _Karma’s a bitch_.’

Katya thanked the high heavens when their performance finally ended. For once in the competition, Katya felt secure enough that even though she knew her group would be in the bottom, she felt sure enough that she shouldn’t have to lip sync. At least she knew her lines and cues and didn’t run into any trees. ‘ _How?_ ’ Thank God they had the weekend to rejuvenate. 

Once they got to their hotel, Katya and Ginger waited outside for a smoke before going back into sequester. Katya had quit before she entered the competition, but with all the stress and the other smokers, she couldn’t help but start back up again.

“So, how did your team fair, Miss Katya?”

Katya chuckled. “You don’t even want to know.”

“What? Did you fall flat on your asses because that I would love to hear.”

“Ah! You bitch!” Katya cackled.

They each took a drag from their cigarettes. “So, was it really that bad?”

“Oh, trust me, your team is completely safe. There is no way we’re not…you’ll see when they play the tapes. Let’s talk about something more fun. Like, tell me about your husband.”

“William? Oh, I could just gush about him for hours. That man really saved my life. I was in such a dark place – you know, full of doubt and self-hate? – and I just had to get away, and I moved to New York City where I got casted in _Beauty and the Beast_ and _The Lion King_.”

“Why New York?”

“I don’t even really know. I mean, getting casted for a Broadway show is so slim, but looking back on it, I could swear there was a pull for me to go there. I just felt like my life would change for the better if I went. And then I met William, the love of my life.” Ginger glowed as she remembered meeting her soulmate. “What’s with the soulmate questions? Last time we talked about that, you seemed really defeated over the prospect of even finding yours.”

“Oh, no reason.”

“Wait…” Ginger’s eyes widened.

“It’s nothing.”

“Did you meet your soulmate?”

“I-I–” Katya’s eyes shifted back and forth, unable to meet Ginger’s gaze. 

“Oh, my god, you did! Who is it? One of the crew? Is it Sarge, because I know he floods your basement, girl.”

“No! Well, true, but no! It’s not him.”

“So you did meet him!” Ginger bounced up and down, living up to her glamour toad description, as she clapped her hands together like a schoolgirl. “Who is it?” 

Katya looked down at the ground and took a drag of her cigarette. “I…I haven’t told them.”

“Wait, what? How doesn’t he know?”

“Because she hasn’t seen my mark yet.”

“What? How? Wait, she? Is it one of the other queens?” Katya just bit her lips as she looked back at Ginger. “Seriously?”

“I can’t ruin her own game with this. I, I don’t know what to do…”

“Who is it? Maybe I can help?”

“I can’t. She deserves to know first.”

Ginger nodded. She understood where Katya came from, though she couldn’t decide if she agreed with it. “Well, from what I can tell, you’ve got two options, and they both could really end up terrible depending on whoever the other queen is and how she reacts. One, you could tell her as soon as possible. Upside, no more secrets and you can start getting to know each other…”

“…and the downside is that it could distract her from the competition, and then she’ll hate me.”

“She could never hate you. You’re soulmates. The only way your soulmate could hate you is if she’s the Ice Bitch herself.” Ginger laughed at her own joke.

Katya cringed. She knew Ginger meant Violet. Everyone meant Violet when they talked about the bitch of the season. Katya took another drag from her cigarette.

Ginger noticed Katya cringe, but she continued on. “And option two, you wait until after the show wraps to tell her. Plus is that it doesn’t interfere with her competition, but the downside is, how will she react to you having kept this secret from her? Wait…” Ginger processed Katya’s cringe and connected two-and-two together, “don’t tell me your soulmate is…”

“Don’t. Not now.”

“I’m sorry. You’re sure you saddled with that–”

“Don’t.”

Ginger raised her hands. “Sorry. I promise I won’t talk shit about her in front of you anymore.” Ginger brought her cigarette up to her lips and took a drag. Once she breathed out the smoke, she asked, “But you’re sure it’s her?”

“How did you know your soulmate was William?”

Ginger nodded. She understood. They finished their cigarettes in silence. 

– 

Back in her hotel room, Violet paced in front of her bed as she threw her clothes off and muttered to herself. “How dare Kennedy not listen to me. Maybe if she did, our team wouldn’t be in the fucking bottom! Ru even said that we were the worst he has ever seen! Fuck.” Once she had stripped down to her briefs, she sat on the bed. She needed to calm down, recenter herself. She couldn’t spend her energy stressing over other people’s mistakes or opinions. 

Yet in the quiet, all she had were her thoughts. ‘ _Why didn’t they listen to me? Why didn’t anyone?_ ’ Maybe a good night sleep would help. Violet rubbed her eyes and stood back up; she wanted to at least wash her face before she retired for bed.

Violet loved the feeling of that washing her face gave her. It just felt like she was washing the day away, washing away the stress, the failure, the rejection… Violet clenched her fists as her vision blurred. She looked into the mirror and blinked until her vision became clear again. Water droplets dripped from her forehead, down her temples, over her cheek, until they fell from her jaw. An imitation of tears. 

‘ _Why didn’t anyone want me?_ ’ Violet did well with all the previous challenges. The judges, barring Michelle, praised everything she did. As Violet looked back at her interactions with the other queens, she could remember seeing them roll their eyes when she spoke, how they wouldn’t face her when they spoke to her. She remembered how Trixie and Pearl shut her down during their Galmazonian Airways challenge, and it went without mentioning how Kennedy had treated her during their rehearsal. 

“Rehearsal,” she scoffed, but with the memories of now two team leaders dismissing her ideas and criticisms, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was only the start. If it was, every moment of interaction, or lack of camaraderie, would make the competition drag on. 

Violet swallowed down her feelings, she could be the unfeeling bitch if she needed to, and dried her face. Then, she grabbed a soft, old shirt from a drawer and slid it on. She didn’t feeling like corseting tonight. She had the next day off from filming anyway; she’d waist train then. Her body slid under the sheets, and she curled up on her side and clutched a pillow as she closed her eyes. 

‘ _Why do they all hate me?_ ’ She clenched her eyelids together. ‘ _I’m not going to cry over any of them. I won’t. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t._ ’ Her body curled in tight; she became as small as she could. 

A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and fell onto to bed. 

–

The weekend passed. 

The weekend passed far too slowly for Violet’s taste. She spent most of her time either working on perfecting her look, through waist training and practicing her makeup skills, or sitting in silence where she’d wonder why everyone hated her. She threw her pillows against the wall at one point, but the lack of anything breaking made it less than satisfactory. 

Katya spent her time going through the pros and cons of when she should tell Violet. Her biggest fear was of Violet resenting her, which she would if she blamed Katya for getting eliminated. 

Ginger was right though, finding her soulmate was a huge deal. So many people never found their soulmates. Agencies and websites made promises that they could find their soulmate, but most were just shams. The affordable agencies were all independently owned, which meant that someone could only hope to find their soulmate there if they signed up at the same place. Extremely unlikely. The national and international agencies all cost far too much for most people of even an average income to ever afford. Even knowing all of that, at her lowest, Katya had signed up at a cheap local agency. Obviously, nothing came from it except for a loss of drug money, but it still squeezed her heart knowing that it failed. She had feared for so long that she could never meet anyone; she had already figured that no one would possibly want her for more than a quick fuck except for her soulmate.

Now that Katya had met Violet though, new fears took over, and they became even more vocal.

_‘Why would she ever want you? An addict ten years older than her.’_

_‘She could do so much better without being saddled to someone like you.’_

_‘Don’t you want what’s best for her?’_

_‘Wouldn’t her life be better without you?’_

_‘You’re going to ruin her life.’_

By the end of the weekend, Katya had come to a decision. While part of her thought it would be better for Violet to never know. For one, she was too selfish. She didn’t want to live her life alone. For two, Katya knew she could never lie to Violet forever and being on Drag Race together meant she would have to work with Violet for at least the next year, if not longer, but she would lie until the end of the competition. Violet deserved a fair chance at the crown, not a distraction like Katya.  

By the time Monday rolled around, Katya and Violet were both relieved. They needed the distraction competition would bring. Living in their heads for the weekend had done nothing for their self-esteem. 

Everyone began to pull out their outfits for the runway, most being beautiful dresses. Violet checked her pink Dior-inspired gown for any damages, and once she was satisfied, she turned around and saw that all the other girls had taken over the vanity mirrors. Her body slumped for just a moment as she sighed before she straightened back up before anyone could have noticed, and she grabbed a small makeup mirror and sat down at a workroom table. 

As Violet did her makeup, she let the conversations flow over her. At least she did until she heard Jasmine’s voice again. 

“What’s that color one?”

“What? Oh, Violet,” Kasha replied.

“Yeah, that one.”    
“Li’l Lavender,” Kennedy joked. 

“Tacky drag.”

Violet gritted her teeth. ‘ _Tacky? Me? Why don’t you look in a fucking mirror?_ ’

“That’s what worries me about some of the younger ones. They don’t get it. And they get it hard with what comes afterwards,” Kasha said. 

‘ _Maybe you shouldn’t fucking underestimate me._ ’

When they did the runway, Violet nailed it, as usual, while Kennedy and Jasmine looked like complete jokes with their crappy attempt at beards. When they played the videos of their Shakespeare parodies though? That Violet cringed at in unison with the rest of her team. It was just as awful as she knew it would be, and, surprise, surprise, their team was in the bottom. 

Violet smirked to herself as she listened to the judges rip apart Kennedy’s entire look and poor team managing skills and Jasmine’s lack of beard and lack of knowing any of her lines. ‘ _They deserve it, and they deserve to lip sync for it._ ’ Her lips quirked up when she listened to them compliment Katya’s Babraham Lincoln look and her performance. Violet could acknowledge that Katya was clearly the best from their group; it wasn’t like Violet was completely self-centered. Plus, Katya’s look did show intelligent humor like Carson said. She had also been the only one to not seem like she hated Violet, but for all Violet knew, Katya may have just been wanting to avoid creating drama for herself. It wasn’t like she went out of her way to talk to Violet; Violet had had to start all of their conversations. 

Violet shook her head. She had to focus on her critiques and make sure Kennedy and Jasmine were in the bottom.

“Next up, Violet Chachki, I love that Dior silhouette, girl.” Violet grinned at Rupaul’s praise, the only praise that really mattered in this competition. 

However, when Mel B criticized her performance, Violet had to defend herself. “It was a hard day. It was a rough day for everybody.” 

“Why is everybody saying it was a rough day? Haven’t we all had rough days where we needed to pull it out and be professional?” 

“Um…” Violet hesitated for a moment, but only a moment. “I will say this. I specifically remember turning to Kennedy and saying should we run it as a group, and she shot me down and said, ‘No,’ and I think that was the route of our problem.” ‘ _No way is Kennedy not going to take responsibility for her crap decisions as team leader._ ’

When Kennedy and Jasmine started to protest, Rupaul had clearly had enough. “FYI, for all you girls up there, I don’t want to hear any goddamn excuses. Be prepared. Make it work. Make it work.” 

All of Katya’s muscles turned to springs ready to snap. Hearing how pissed Rupaul was with them all did nothing to assuage Katya’s anxiety. All it told her was that she had made the right decision in not telling Violet. Katya couldn’t burden her with life changing news if Rupaul could snap at them at any time. 

“Fucking make it happen! I don’t want to hear anymore goddamn excuses anymore! And having said that, my children, while you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.”

–

Untucked was even more of a disaster. 

When they entered, Pearl and Katya summed up how they all felt after Rupaul’s outburst.

“Does anyone have an adderall?” 

“Or a gun?”

When someone asked about their critiques, Kennedy took over speaking. “The bottom line is our production fell through. One thing that I can’t agree with, honestly, is Violet.” Kennedy continued to explain her reasoning, but none of it made sense to Violet. 

“But we’re a team.” It was what Violet had said the whole time.

“I understand that. I do respect…” Kennedy looked away from Violet. “I respect each and every one of my team members. I mean, I felt like that if there was such a problem, outside of Violet, I feel like y’all would have said that there was a problem.”

Violet gritted her teeth. The audacity of Kennedy essentially telling her that she didn’t respect her enough to value her own input shook Violet. If Kennedy didn’t respect her input, did other people not respect her as well? Did anyone?

“There is no way you can’t say that running it together over and over and over again more than two or three times like we did wouldn’t have been a good idea,” Pearl said.

‘ _Yeah, you say that now._ ’ Though she felt bitter over Pearl only speaking up now, she did appreciate that it seemed like at least one other queen acknowledged that she had been right. 

“Yeah, duh. I see that now.”

Violet couldn’t stay silent. “It doesn’t make sense to work alone on a team. That makes no sense. To work alone on a team is like the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing. We were put together in groups to work together, to have us go off separately to work alone makes absolutely no sense, and that’s what was going through my mind at the time.” Violet knew she was repeating herself, but she just couldn’t stop the word vomit. It was like knowing that everyone was actually listening to her since the first challenge just made her unable to stop talking. 

“Okay, well then, like you so quick to say stuff, then I would have expected you to say it again and tell me, ‘you know what, I really think we need to do this.’” 

‘ _Seriously?_ ’ “Girl, you were shutting me down the whole day.”

“No, I did not. You asked me once, and I said, ‘No.’” 

“I asked you about costumes and everything, and you were like, ‘You need to focus on your lines, girl, learn your lines.’”  

Kennedy stood up. “No, no, take that back!” 

Once Kennedy started laying into her, Violet had had enough. Everyone already talked shit about her behind her back, so why would they even believe anything she had to say. Violet raised her hands in surrender and walked away from the other queens and over to the vanity. She refused to take the irrelevant criticism, especially when Kennedy was just trying to cover her own ass. Violet was right from the beginning of this challenge, and Kennedy failed her duties as team leader. 

Katya barely even knew what had just happened. 

Now, she knew after their berating by Rupaul that the lounge would be tense, but she never expected how hard Kennedy would go after her Violet.

_‘Not your Violet. You’re too much of a coward to even tell her.’_

_‘I know. Shut up.’_

Katya watched as Violet stomped off to the vanities. Part of Katya wanted to go to check up on Violet, see how she fared, but her decision, her fear, kept her in place. Even though she didn’t move, Katya still watched every move Violet made. She watched as Violet fiddled with her beard. She watched Violet adjust the straps on her dress. She watched as Violet fluffed her hair. She watched everything, and she would have never stopped if Ginger hadn’t signaled her to come outside for a smoke. 

They lit up and stared at the back lot.

“So, have you made a decision?”

Katya glanced at the cameras, a signal to keep it vague to Ginger. This did not need to become the storyline of the season. Another reason she hadn’t even thought of when she had decided to keep it a secret. 

“Yeah.”

A beat of silence. “And…?”

“Not until after.” 

Ginger nodded. “Probably for the best.” They took a few drags of their cigarettes. “Oh, and congrats on your performance. You didn’t suck this week. Now, your team on the other hand…”

“You bitch!” Katya cackled as she shoved Ginger’s shoulders. 

When they went back to the Main Stage, the outcome was just like Violet hoped for. Kennedy and Jasmine had to lip sync for their lives. Rupaul saved Kennedy while Jasmine sashayed away.

“My queens, remember, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else. Can I get an Amen up in here?” 

“Amen,” the queens chorused.

Violet threw both of her hands high in the air. She knew that that statement was all that she needed to remember to make it to the end of this competition. She had lived her life that way for years. All that mattered was how much she loved herself. No one else mattered. Not the judges. Certainly not her competitors. Now even a boyfriend or a soulmate. 

Violet just needed herself. 


	5. Spoof!

Coming back into the workroom the next day, Violet couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that she no longer had to listen to Jasmine’s bitching about her. ‘ _That’s what you get, messing with me._ ’

When Katya entered the workroom, she knew that she couldn’t let herself fail again, especially after her entire group got their asses handed to them by Rupaul himself, and just thinking of him seemed to summon him.

Rupaul entered the workroom with his traditional hello. “For this week’s maxi-challenge, you’ll be creating music video parodies. One of my favorite artists ever!” Rupaul paused, and the queens stood silent in anticipation. “Me.” 

The queens all laughed, though Katya couldn’t help but be a little bit – okay, a lot – nervous. ‘ _I can’t sing for shit. Like, literally, no one would even pay me in poo to sing, let alone piss on me._ ’ Katya jerked her head to the side. ‘ _No, stop, focus, Katya. Ru is speaking._ ’

“Working in three teams, you’ll have to write lyrics, record vocals, and then, shoot your own hashtag PunnyOrDie music video. Now, to mix things up, I’m going to leave it up to you to divide yourselves into teams. Right, go for it.” 

The queens stood around and just glanced at each other.

“Now!”

Everyone scurried around as they reached out to grab onto people. Everyone except for Violet who just stood back and watched as queen after queen, girl after girl, guy after guy grabbed ahold of another. Violet twisted her hands together as she watched to see where she’d end up. ‘ _I’ve already been picked last for teams twice, so who the fuck cares?_ ’ Eventually, Violet saw Jaidynn and Max shuffle their feet towards her.

“Well, I guess that leaves us three.”

“Here,” Max stepped in between Violet and Jaidynn and beckoned them to come closer, “let’s do it. Let’s just do it.” Max wrapped his arms around Violet and Jaidynn and squeezed each of their shoulders. 

Violet forced a happy smile onto her face. “Yay!”

When Max had wrapped his arm around Violet and Violet had smiled, Katya could do nothing to prevent the ugly voice from rearing its head.

‘ _Look at them. Look at what you will be taking away from her_.’

‘ _Please, just shut up_.’

‘ _Look at how she looks with someone who could actually take care of her. Someone tall, and strong, and confident in their entire being_.’

‘ _Shut up!_ ’ 

During Katya’s inner debate, the groups had moved away from another to various corners of the workroom. Violet’s group had walked over to the cushioned area. 

“Let’s get to work,” Violet said. She hoped this group would be more amenable to her suggestions.

“So, everyone is familiar with the music?” Max asked after they had all sat down.

“Duh.”

Max took a deep breath before he released it slowly, just moment at a time. “So, does anyone have any initial ideas?” Max looked around at his teammates.

“What if it’s like, ‘Your face like chalk?’ Like, we can do really bad makeup or something…” 

Violet rolled her eyes. “I mean, that’s, like, the obvious thing. We can probably come up with better.” Violet looked at her notepad as she went over the beat of the song in her head. “What if we did something, like, ‘Now Sniff That Sock.’ Y’know, like a foot fetishy theme.”

Max started to shake his head before Violet had even finished explaining her idea. “Uh, no, no…I really don’t want us to be gross.”

Violet stared at Max. ‘ _Oh my God, are you fucking kidding me?_ ’

“I don’t want us to rely on grossness or sexuality because that’s what people always, always do.”

Violet slumped back into her seat. ‘ _Seriously? ‘I don’t want to do anything raunchy or dirty.’ Give me a fucking break. We’re drag queens, for fuck’s sake._ ’ Violet heaved a sigh as she rolled her eyes to the heavens. ‘ _What did I do to deserve this?_ ’

Jaidynn nodded along to Max. “I agree. Umm, what else do we have?”

Max cleared his throat. “Well, they did use this song last year for the final challenge, so, what if we did something with parodying the final three of Season Six?”

Jaidynn nodded again to Max’s input, a perfect puppet. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“Whatever,” Violet murmured before she raised her voice to be heard, “We just have to get these, like, lyrics really funny, like…” Violet snapped her fingers to say what she couldn’t find the words to. Violet caught Max and Jaidynn sharing a look between them. ‘ _Let’s just get this over with_.’ “So, who’s playing who?”

Across the room, in Katya’s group, Fame and Pearl had started bickering over what they wanted to do; Fame wanted something really overtly sexual while Pearl thought Fame’s ideas were “gross.” Katya didn’t want to get involved, and she also noticed that Trixie must have felt the same because she just sat back and leaned away from the pair.

As her group squabbled, Katya glanced over at Violet. Violet’s shoulders looked a little hunched over, nothing too noticeable unless one had paid close attention to details, which Katya had. Katya was a little surprised with herself over how much she had apparently noticed. Katya wondered how Max and Jaidynn were treating her Violet.

‘ _Not yours._ ’

This time, Katya ignored the voice. Katya hoped that Violet’s current team treated her better than last time. Part of Katya regretted that she hadn’t chosen to be on a team with Violet, but at the same time, she knew this would be for the best for the two of them. She needed space to focus on the competition.

“Katya? Katya?”

Katya jerked her head to look over at Trixie. 

“So, ‘Tan With You’ okay?”

Unknown to Katya, Violet’s own eyes had drifted over to look at the other groups before they landed on Katya. Part of her felt deflated because of their team divisions. Something about Katya’s presence just made Violet feel a little less lonely when she sat near her.

–

In the recording studio, even though they were separate, both Katya and Violet had some challenges, but they both made it work in their own unique way, and they both confused Lucian.

Katya was the first up in her group, and when she stood in front of the microphone, she did a poor, guttural imitation of Tibetan throat singing. 

Lucian, staring at her, asked in stilted words, “Have you ever been recorded before?” 

“Uh, yeah, once before, and it was a disaster,” Katya answered while she waved her arms in the air like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.

“Oh.” 

“So, I’m going to go with like a weird, drunk skank.” 

“Okay, so that’s your character.” Lucian then started to play the music and directed Katya to start singing.

“Feel the heat on my sizzling meat, that we hit the beat…Ow-oh.” 

Lucian stopped the music. “Okay. How about you try it with three long island ice teas, not ten.” 

Katya became a bobble-head doll as she nodded her head. ‘ _Okay, okay. I can get through this._ ’

In the other group, when Violet had her turn to record, she just threw herself right into it. “Paint myself up, throw a wig on my head.” 

“Are you doing it up the octave?” Lucian asked.

Violet shook her head with a smile. “I don’t know. I don’t know all this lingo, I’ve never done this before.” 

Lucian closed his eyes for a moment as he huffed out a small laugh. “All right. Well, your timing wasn’t great.” 

“I just went off your cue.” Violet saw Max and Jaidynn share another look between them. ‘ _What the fuck now? What am I doing now that makes me such a horrible person to work with?_ ’ Violet rolled her eyes before she turned back to the lyrics they had created an hour prior. ‘ _Let’s just get this done_.’

After the recoding session and back in the workroom, Jaidynn had started to worry over how she would pull off Bianca’s look for the video shoot.

“I just don’t know what I’m going…I don’t have anything to really…”

“We’ll make it work.”

Violet rolled her eyes. ‘ _This melodrama. Please._ ’ “Girl, you can sew. Bianca wore the same dress in the same silhouette for the entire show. Just pin and sew.”

“But what about wigs? And jewelry? I don’t think I have any, where are you going, girl?” 

Violet left to walk over to her area where she pulled out a pair of earrings from their box and grabbed a simple brown wig of hers. She walked back over to her group, and she saw them communicating something with their eyes, again. ‘ _Did they develop telepathy or something? Or are they just too prudish to admit to wanting to fuck?_ ’ 

“Here.” Violet tossed the earrings to Jaidynn, who fumbled but thankfully, did not drop them. “You start cutting and sewing, and I’ll get this wig styled.” They stared at her. “Well, go.” Violet turned to the wig and began to brush it out, though she had to glance up when she heard raised voices from across the room.

In Katya’s group, the tension between Fame and Pearl kept running higher and higher. Katya had no idea what possessed Fame, the least coordinated amongst them, to lead the choreography, but she did.

“We’re coming up from down here,” Fame said.

“I know.” Pearl, usually so laissez-faire, looked annoyed with furrowed brows, which probably meant that he was pissed with Fame. “We have to figure out what the next move is going to be.” 

“Well, what do you want it to be, girl?” 

“Well, if you would get into fucking position…” 

“Calm your ass down.” 

“I am calm.” Pearl took a deep breath. “You’re not listening to me though.” 

“Then what are you trying to say? Project!” 

“I’m trying.” 

‘ _What in the fucking hell is going on here?_ ’ Katya bit her fingernails as her team imploded, or would it be exploded? It didn’t matter. Their video was clearly on the road to becoming a national disaster. ‘ _I need a smoke_.’ 

Katya turned to see how the other groups faired, or, more honestly, how Violet faired on her team. Her eyes widened and her breath got caught in her throat when she saw Violet looking right back at her. Katya wondered what Violet was thinking of. ‘ _God, she must think I’m such a disorganized mess. Fuck_.’ Katya watched as Violet quirked one side of her mouth up before she turned back to look at her own group. Katya saw Violet then stand up and stomp over to Max and Jaidynn at a mannequin. 

“Seriously? The fuck are you doing? It’s a boatneck.”

A small chuckle escaped Katya, and she turned back to her own mess of a group. Seeing Violet’s small smile relaxed her better than any cigarette could. 

–

When Violet’s group went in for the video shoot, she noticed that Rupaul and Michelle Visage grinned at their looks.

“Wow. I’m totally having flashbacks,” Rupaul said before he gave them the spiel over what they could use and so on and so forth. 

Max and Jaidynn had already agreed that Violet would be up first for her solo shots. “Okay,” Rupaul gestured to Violet, “now think, ‘Adore.’” 

Violet swayed in front of the camera and played with her loose fabric. “Party.” 

“Hey, Violet, did you cinch?” Michelle asked. 

Violet put on a clueless face and tilted her head to the side. “No, I have a hog body.” Violet couldn’t help but cheer inside when Rupaul and Michelle laughed, and she couldn’t prevent a small smile from appearing when she saw Jaidynn and Max join in. ‘ _See, I can be funny too._ ’

Rupaul then motioned to the sound guys. “Now, play the music.”

_Try, try, try_

Violet channelled her inner Adore. This had to be so much better than fucking MacBitch. 

“Get it, girl.”

_Uh oh, uh oh_

When it was Jaidynn’s turn, Violet couldn’t help but smile and nod along. ‘ _Jaidynn’s really pulling off Bianca. I’m impressed_.’ 

However, when Max was up, Violet deflated. She had hoped that their misfit group would pull out the best video, but Max just looked like himself with a wig on that wasn’t grey. Violet huffed out a breath, and she hoped Max would do better during their group shots.

Katya was nervous, extremely nervous, petrified even, about their shoot. Their team had not gotten along any better during their rehearsals in the workroom, and as the day got longer, the spats between Fame and Pearl increased. ‘ _Rupaul and Michelle Visage are going to think we’re a bunch of dysfunctional fucktards_.’

“So, is your team ready?” Fame said they were while Katya painted a hesitant smile on her face. “Then let the music play.”

_Feel the heat on my sizzling meat  
As we hit the beach at noon togeth-ow_

Katya threw herself into her drunken character. She knew she could work out a character, any character. She had to be confident in that if anything; she just hoped Rupaul liked it.

“Trixie, why do you keep walking in and out of the shot?” 

Katya’s heart felt like it stopped when Rupaul called Trixie out. Katya just wanted to rub her temples, but she couldn’t ruin her makeup. This had been a long, long, long day, and she could just hope she managed to pull something worthy of staying out. 

–

After crashing at her hotel, Katya felt so grateful that they only had the runway (and critiques and Untucked) today. Creating an entire music video in a single day absolutely exhausted her, and she was so relieved that her green runway outfit was not overly complicated – a sequined green gown that she had made prior to getting casted and a big wig that she just had to touch up a bit.

At her station, Violet made sure the feathers on her showgirl’s outfit were fluffed. No limp feathers allowed. Everything had to be precise. 

When she was satisfied, Violet picked up her blonde wig and walked over to her little makeup mirror. She knew she had to cut a little off the side to style it properly to pull of the look. 

Katya, standing with Ginger over by the makeup mirrors, overheard Kennedy ask Jaidynn and Max how they thought their group faired with Violet.

“Well, she was, um, I think I want to, you know, talk to her about it.”

“Violet does have a tendency to be sort of…uh…bitchy?” 

Kennedy cackled. “You can say that again!”

Katya’s body tensed at the slight against Violet. 

Ginger laid her hand on Katya’s shoulder. “Not now, girl, not unless out want her to find out that way.”

Katya looked around the room until her eyes landed on Violet who sat far enough away that she couldn’t have heard the comments. Only then did Katya relax. She turned and nodded to Ginger in thanks. 

Ginger motioned them back to the mirrors.

Once Katya had painted her face and gotten into her dress and hair, her body tensed again, however this time for a completely different reason. 

“So,” Ginger nudged her side, “you’ve clearly seen the…feathered look, huh?” 

Katya couldn’t tear her eyes away, especially once Violet turned around. ‘ _That perfect little ass…_ ’

“I wonder if this is going to be a habit for her. Wear a pretty dress – because that pink Dior was my aesthetic completely, and I would wear it if I could – then be naked again.” 

Katya gulped and she turned pleading eyes to Ginger. She had no idea what she was begging Ginger for, she just knew that seeing Violet’s bare body for hours on end would definitely be a problem. No tucking abilities were that strong. 

“Girl, get it together. You made the choice to not tell her. Though, if you had, maybe you could have gotten away with dragging her to the bathroom and–”

“Okay, stop, you bitch!” Katya cackled, though she really didn’t need any help in conjuring any visuals. Especially since there was no real barrier preventing Katya from access to that ass. ‘ _Stop! Stop. No, bad, Katya. Bad Russian whore. No_.’ 

“Girl, please. You know it’s true. I would probably have my delicate sensibilities tarnished if you had less control.” 

Katya threw her head back and laughed, though she also vowed to avoid looking at Violet until after the critiques and Untucked just in case. 

Katya turned to look at herself in the mirror. She loved her look. Even with Violet parading her perfect body around, Katya still felt confident, sexy, and stupid. Just how she always intended her looks to come across.

After their runways, all the queens stood on the stage ready to watch their music videos.

“Welcome, ladies,” Rupaul said. “It’s time to debut your videos.” 

When “Tan With You” played, Katya clenched her fist together; her team had been such a disaster that she couldn’t help but expect absolute failure. However, when it ended, she couldn’t stop the breath of laughter that escaped her. ‘ _It was funny. We were actually funny._ ’ 

Katya held her breath when “Get Ready to Clock,” Violet’s video, came on screen. ‘ _Please let her make it. Please?_ ’ Katya breathed in and out again when she saw how well Jaidynn and Violet performed their respective parts. ‘ _Thank God._ ’

Once all the videos played, Rupaul continued. “Ladies, I’ve made some decisions. Ladies, when I call your name, please step forward. Katya.” 

Katya’s heart jumped. ‘ _What? Please say I’m not in the bottom. Please, please, please…_ ’ 

“Jaidynn Diore Fierce. Kennedy Davenport. This week, each of you emerged as the star of your group.” 

Katya bent forwards, folding herself nearly in half. She almost wanted to cry; she was so happy.

“Kennedy Davenport, condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.” Rupaul then told them, along with Ginger and Fame, that they could all leave the stage. Katya’s heart felt so much lighter than in a long time. The only thing that would make it lighter would be hearing that Violet was also safe.

After the safe and high girls left, critiques went down the line, and eventually, Rupaul called, “Next up, Violet Chachki.” 

Violet stood tall. She felt good about her performance, and she knew her green showrgirl’s outfit was on point. 

Guest judge Jessica Alba started by saying how much she loved Violet’s ass. “Your tushy is so phenomenal. It’s just perfection.” 

‘ _Of course it is_.’ Violet spun around so that the judges could get a good look at her ass. 

“Yas!”

“It’s so good.”

“Your Adore was quite good too,” Michelle said, continuing the critique. 

Violet couldn’t stop her muscles from become a little tense whenever Michelle spoke. She couldn’t allow herself to be taken aback by anything Michelle could say, not after that first challenge. 

“I think you could have even done more, but again, more, bigger, now is your time.” 

Violet nodded, though she didn’t quite know what Michelle meant by bigger. She gave every challenge her all; she put everything she had into every maxi-challenge and runway.

“And you’re how old again?” Rupaul asked.

“Twenty-two.” Violet could swear that Rupaul looked a little impressed, and she wanted to preen a little at the positive attention. She was a bit of an attention whore. Like it mattered.

Lucian, also judging for this challenge, said, “It’s funny because in the studio, you struggled a little, and then, I saw the video, and it was, ‘Oh, my gosh, that’s Adore.’”

Violet had cringed a little at the start of Lucian’s spiel, but she then relaxed into a smile. “Thank you.” Violet felt amazing. This judging was so much better than last time.

–

During Untucked, the safe and high placing girls lounged on the gold couch. Katya had taken the prime spot in the middle corner, and she and Ginger couldn’t help but gush over how entertaining all the videos were.

“I would have thought one of the videos would have flopped, but–”

“They were all funny!” Katya said.

“They were all funny in a different way. I liked that.”

“I just can’t believe that this was the challenge I was most afraid of, and it ended up, for me, it was the best one.” Katya bounced in place a little. She couldn’t restrain her bountiful energy. 

“You were so funny.”

“Oh, stop it.” Katya laughed. “No, no, keep going.”

“Ah!” Ginger cackled. 

When the rest of the girls came in, Katya started to shift out of her corner but realized that it was more difficult that it was worth, especially once Violet sat down next to her. The sickle-like mark stood out dark against her pale skin, and it seemed to stare back at Katya. ‘ _Why did Violet have to choose to not wear any real clothes?_ ’ 

Katya looked up and saw that Ginger had taken the seat on Violet’s other side, and she was giving Katya a raised eyebrow as she silently asked if Katya was okay. A slight nod in reply, and then they both leaned back into their respective spots on either side of Violet. 

The conversation, as usual, drifted to their individual critiques. 

Ginger brushed her hand on Violet’s bare shoulder. “What did they have to say about you?” Katya glared a little at Ginger’s hand, and Ginger gave her a look that clearly said, ‘ _Really, girl?_ ’ though she did remove her hand.

“I don’t even know,” Violet replied. “They were just…they were really nice.” 

“They were very complimentary of you,” Kasha said. 

Trixie had to add on, “They had nothing bad to say about her runway look.” 

“They said, like, one negative thing, and it was that I didn’t push enough, and everything else was, like, an overflow of compliments, and I was just like,” Violet put on a cheesy, over-the-top smile, “‘Thanks.’”  

Katya had noticed that Jaidynn had closed herself off as Violet talked about her overflow of compliments, and she tensed. A battle was imminent. 

“For a second,” Jaidynn began, “I was a little bit nervous about our team, um, because, you know, I don’t know if you notice it or not…” 

Violet focused all of her attention on Jaidynn. If Violet was a meta human with laser eyes, Katya would not have been surprised at all.

“Sometimes you give off a little bit of a-a mean vibe.” 

The entire room was silent as they all stared at Violet, ready for her to explode. 

“And then when we were in the studio, um, with Lucian, it seemed like you were getting smart and an attitude, so I got a little bit nervous there.” 

“All I can do is be honest with my feelings.” Violet ended the conversation. ‘ _Really, Bitch? You think this is me being mean? Poor girl. You haven't seen anything yet._ ’

They continued on with talking about the other girls’ critiques, thought the air around Violet became icy. Violet sat in silence as the rest chatted. She did not engage in the other conversations , and instead, she pondered over what Jaidynn had said. 

Slowly but surely, the queens dispersed amongst themselves. Ginger had dragged Katya outside for a smoke and to check in on Pearl who had left earlier feeling defeated.

Violet, now sitting with only a fraction of the remaining contestants, had to know what Jaidynn meant. In a soft almost hesitant voice, Violet asked, “So, what were you referring to when you were talking about me being mean?” 

Jaidynn looked at her, almost like she was worried about how Violet would react. ‘ _Am I really that much of a rotted cunt?_ ’ 

“I don’t know if you do it on purpose, or I don’t know if, you know, maybe it’s just your personality…” Jaidynn kept trying to backtrack, like she was speaking to a feral animal that could attack at any moment. “You know, sometimes you have that pop of attitude.” 

“Listen,” Kasha interrupted, “you know that. The first thing you said to me when we stood at the table when we first walked in the workroom–” 

Violet smirked. “We could see your man-arms.”

“Yeah, man-arms and ‘we’ll see if you have any talent.’ I was like, ‘Okay, Bitch.’ I’ve called you a bitch like twenty times.”

Violet huffed a laugh. She liked how straightforward Kasha was without being condescending. It was a fine line to walk, but Kasha travelled like a true mama queen. 

“See, stuff like that–” 

“It’s just your age,” Kasha interrupted Jaidynn again. “I was that same way.” 

Violet nodded. “I come from a place where I had to fucking claw my way to get any…” Violet felt herself start to get choked up. She couldn’t show any weakness. She refused to show any weakness. “I still am not respected in my city.” 

“You’ll get there, and you definitely will be after this season.” Kasha squeezed Violet’s shoulder. “Just try to breathe a bit more before you speak.”

Violet rolled her eyes, but she still nodded. 

They were called back to the Main Stage. Ginger and Katya stood on opposite sides of the runway, and when Violet was called safe first, we walked over and stood next to Ginger who congratulated her. It was a good week for both Violet and Katya. 

Though seeing that ass at eye level when Violet walked down the steps to stand by Ginger definitely made Katya question her choice in keeping silent. ‘ _Fuck_.’


	6. The Despy’s

The ride back to the hotel after Trixie’s elimination was somber. In her own head, Violet replayed her conversation with Jaidynn and Kasha. She went through it over, and over, and over again. She just needed to process it.

When they arrived at the hotel, Violet hurried to her room. She needed to be away from all the other girls. During the Untucked, when Jaidynn had first confronted her, she had wanted to throw  her drink in her face a la Shangela.

‘ _How dare she? How dare she fucking say I’m mean when I fucking helped her with her whole Bianca look? And to put me on the spot like that? Fuck that!_ ’

Tears prickled her eyes. Violet threw her clothes onto the floor, she’d deal with them in the morning, and grabbed her training corset. It was hard, though, when she had no one to really talk to. No one really seemed to care. Everyone had latched onto someone. Everyone but her. 

As she laced up her corset, which always seemed to help her focus and relax, she thought back to what Kasha had said. Kasha had told her to essentially think before she spoke. She didn’t seem to begrudge Violet for her attitude, and she seemed like she at least attempted to try to see where Violet came from. 

After tying on her corset, she collapsed onto the bed. She clutched her pillow to her face and just let the tears she held inside fall.

–

The next day, the queens reentered the workroom with excitement over what their next challenge would entail. Katya couldn’t stop staring at Violet’s adorable little outfit, with that neckerchief and black and white hat. ‘ _How can she be so drop dead gorgeous and then pull off adorable the next day?_ ’

Ginger coughed from behind and gave her a raised eyebrow before they joined all the queens around the table. 

Ginger looked over at Violet; she just had to tease Katya. “You look like a boy scout today. I love it.” 

Katya’s mouth fell open at Ginger’s blatant attempt to rile her up. 

On the other hand, Violet felt taken aback by a positive comment directed to her in the workroom. “Oh, me?”

“Give her a pet name, give her a pet name!” Fame started to bounce up and down. Violet rolled her eyes a little, but she couldn’t prevent a small snort from escaping.

“Let’s call her Scout.” 

Just then, the Ru-Vision sounded followed by Rupaul entering the workroom to deliver their newest challenge. “For today’s mini-challenge, you’ll be making your own paper versions of classic celebrity red carpet outfits. Now, you’ll be working in pairs, so, based on how you lined up this morning, teams are: Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho, Li’l Kim; Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy Davenport, Lady Gaga; Pearl and Max, Cher; Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya. Bjork,” Katya grinned at Kasha, “and Violet Chachki and Miss Fame, Jennifer Lopez.” Violet and Fame looked at each other, annoyed. 

‘ _At least it’s someone who understands how clothes work._ ’

“Go!”

They all rushed to the various colors of paper before taking off to separate sides of the workroom.

“Hurry up, Bitch,” Violet told Fame after they had decided that Violet would be easier for Fame tape a paper dress onto. “Tape this shit.” 

Fame had more class than to roll her eyes, so instead, when creating the paper J Lo hair for Violet, she slapped the tape on, just to make sure it stuck.

Violet winced at the rough treatment, though she also couldn’t help but laugh a little. It reminded her a little of her friends back in Atlanta. “You don’t have to fucking slap me.”

“If I get the chance…” Fame slapped down another piece of tape with a grin.

Katya glared over at Fame’s rough treatment of Violet as Kasha taped on a rolled up swan’s neck around her shoulder. 

When it came time for judging, while she had a cute moment with Rupaul telling her to turn around to see her backside and lack of J Lo ass, Violet couldn’t deny that the comedy that Katya and Kasha brought was fabulous. Plus, that paper swan dress really impressed her. 

“I’ve graded your papers, and the winning pair is… Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya.” It didn’t surprise Violet at all when she heard that they had won the mini challenge.

“Ladies, you’re all dressed up, and now you need a place to go. Good news. You’re invited to the most prestigious award show of the season, girl!” Violet smiled. She couldn’t wait to pull out her red carpet eleganza. “The first annual Despy Awards. Hashtag Snatching Trophies. 

“Now, working in your current pairs, you will be both the presenters and the nominees. You will need to come up with funny banter, take jabs at your fellow nominees, and if you win, you better have an unforgettable acceptance speech. The categories are: ‘Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen,’ presented by Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy Davenport, ‘Most Busted Queen,’ presented by Pearl and Max, ‘The Shadiest Queen,’ presented by Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho, and my favorite, the ‘Meatiest Tuck,’ presented by Violet Chachki and Miss Fame. Kasha Davis and Katya,” they both looked at Rupaul, “you won the mini challenge, so you’ll be our Despy co-hosts. 

“Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win!”

Fame and Violet walked over to one of the tables to go over their plan of attack, “So, meatiest tuck, let’s talk about that,” or lack of plan of attack. They sat in silence. Violet stared in Fame’s general direction while Fame stared at her blank sheet of paper.

‘ _Neither one of us are comedy queens. This is going to be hell_.’ 

Violet decided to play around with something about Pearl. She should be an easy enough target to come up with something. “With Pearl, the only outward emotion that is showing is between her legs.” 

Fame stared at her with a bored blank expression. “It’s just not funny.” 

Violet sighed. “Well, what do you think is funny?” 

Fame shook her head. “We’re both drawing a blank.” She looked back down at her blank sheet of paper. 

“This is stressing me out,” Violet groaned. Violet tapped her finger on the table top. ‘ _We have got to get it together._ ’

“Could you stop that?”

“It’s helping me think.”

“Well, it’s distracting me.”

Violet rolled her eyes but stopped anyway. “Then come up with something. I am not going home over a damn comedy challenge.” She looked out at her competition, at all the pairs that seemed to get along better that Fame and her. Her eyes lingered on Kasha and Katya. They would do great. They both had positive, hardworking, and humorous personalities. Violet felt a little saddened by how Katya seemed to drift away from her after the second challenge, but hey, she was the bitch apparently. 

Across the room, Kasha and Katya went over their own plan which came together much more smoothly than Violet and Fame. They actually had comedic backgrounds. 

“So, any idea of how we want to go about this? I was thinking something along the lines of Dean Martin and Jerry Louis.”

Katya looked at Kasha with a clueless expression with her head cocked to the side. “Who?”

Kasha chuckled as she shook her head at Katya’s lack of knowledge. “Well, what comedy duos are you familiar with?”

“Oh, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I lived for them at the Golden Globes.”

Kasha nodded her head as she agreed with Katya’s choice in comedy style.

“I want to read everybody, including ourselves,” Katya added.

“Oh, definitely. Any ideas off the bat?”

“I definitely want to say that Ginger’s the Danny Devito of drag.”

Kasha laughed. “That is perfect. We should also do something to make fun of Fame’s ‘Brand.’” 

“What could we do, what could we do, Oh! Maybe we could just keep getting it wrong or something?”

“Yes! Fame, lame, pain, shame, that’ll work. Oh, and we’ve got to get a good read on Violet. That bitch totally needs a good one.”

Katya’s chest tightened. She had forgotten that they’d have to read Violet. 

‘ _You know she’d never forgive you if you insult her_.’

Katya nodded to the voice. “We should definitely be careful about not making it something that she could be offended by.” ‘ _I can’t hurt her._ ’

“Um, yeah, of course. I don’t think we want to insult anyone. Just some fun shade, of which, Violet will probably win the award for.”

Katya let out a fake laugh, one that Kasha clocked immediately.

“Okay,” Kasha laid down her pen, “what is your deal? You were all excited about this challenge, but the minute Violet was brought up, you clammed up faster than Pearl. What gives?”

A half-hearted smile appeared at the Pearl joke, but Katya couldn’t meet Kasha’s eyes at the rest. She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. Now, you can say you don’t want to talk about this, and I’ll shut up, but do you have feelings for Violet or something?” 

Katya couldn’t. She couldn’t meet Kasha’s eyes. She couldn’t tell the truth, not without telling Violet first. She couldn’t even speak; her mouth refused to form words. 

“Well?”

“I-I-I c-can’t.” 

Kasha nodded. “Okay. Well, we can’t just leave her out, so what do you suggest we do?”

Katya laid her head onto the table. “I kinda just wanna say nothing at all.”

“We have to say something.” Her fingers drummed along the table while Katya stared at her pen. “Wait, maybe we don’t have to say anything.”

Katya sat up. “What are you talking about?” 

“What if we just introduce her last, and then not say anything, but make it obvious. Everyone should get that it’s because she’s always picked last, but we won’t be saying anything negative about her character. That sound good?” 

Katya smiled and agreed. 

“Hey, Kitty Girls!” Rupaul said as he entered the workroom. “Is everybody getting excited for the Despy’s?” The queens appropriately cheer. 

Rupaul stepped up to Kasha and Katya first. “Hey, girls. You all are opening the show, so there’s extra pressure.”

Katya nodded as Kasha replied, “Definitely.”

“Who are you patterning your banter after?” 

Katya told him how she thought about the perfection of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes while Kasha told Rupaul about Katya’s lack of knowledge die to her youth over who Dean Martin and Jerry Louis were.

When Katya said, “I’m not actually that young. I’m just ignorant,” they all laughed, but Katya couldn't help but think over what Rupaul had said about the pressure of opening the show. ‘ _I want to win this one, and I can’t let myself panic this time,_ ’ she thought, though her hands trembled a little.

Rupaul left them so they could finish writing their script. He then walked over to the pair consisting of Violet and Fame.

Violet looked up. “Hi, Ru,” she said with a smile.

Rupaul smiled back. “Now, have either one of you ever done comedy before?” 

“Never,” Fame said before Violet even had a chance.  

“You two have banter prepared?” When they both remained silent, he tried again. “What’s you chemistry like?” 

“You know what?” Fame began. “We’re two very different people. Um, I had to think about working with someone like her…” Fame paused as she tried to come up with a safe answer.

Violet’s shoulders hunched over as she stared at Fame. ‘ _Yeah, I know. I’m the bitch. Just get it over with._ ’

“She’s dark-sided. So, basically, if you can’t beat them, join them.” 

Violet had to stop Fame’s monologue before she colored Rupaul’s thoughts of her. “We’re really just brainstorming right now. Seeing what we can play off of, and make it funny, in a ‘dark-sided’ kind of way.” Violet attempted to make a joke over the dark-sided comment, but she knew it fell flat. She didn’t like the comment in the first place, but she had to try to foster some sort of relationship from this partnership.

Rupaul then said something about expecting the best out of them before he went off to talk to another pair. After giving her eyes a rub, Violet looked back down at her doodled piece of paper. They needed to come up with something decent and soon.

“You okay, girl?”

Violet looked up and saw Fame staring at her with a concerned look on her face. “Yeah, why?”

Fame bit her lip for a second, but only a second. “You just seem, I don’t know, down, I guess? I mean, usually you’re snapping back at everything with that bitchy face of yours, but you’ve been very docile today.”

“Well, maybe I’m just tired, okay?”

Fame only hesitated for a moment. “Tired of what?”

Violet raised her voice. “Of being the bitch of the season? Of everyone thinking I’m this mean and hateful person? Of being a complete social pariah, especially whenever we’re getting ready for the Main Stage? I don’t know, take your pick. Now, can we just get these jokes done?” 

Fame said nothing for once. Instead, she stood up, walked the two steps over to Violet, and wrapped her arms around her.

Violet stiffened, but only for a moment. “Oh, God, don’t touch me, you whore!” Though she said that, her body could help but relax in Fame’s arms. Her body could never lie, and Fame squeezed her tighter. It had been far to long since she had a hug. Violet smiled into Fame’s shoulder.

After about a minute, Violet patted Fame’s shoulder. “Okay, enough. We really do need to get to work.” While they sat and bounced ideas at each other, the smile never left Violet’s face.

Katya, with eyes that never seemed to stray for long from Violet, felt a fist clench around her heart.

–

The next day, the queens had to prepare their looks for the main challenge. When they entered, Fame beckoned Violet over to the vanity she had laid claim to during the first day. Katya watched Violet practically skip over to Fame, and she had never regretted anything as much as when she had chosen to not become closer to Violet. She could have been the one to invite Violet to her mirror. That smile could have been directed at her. ‘Fuck.’

Ginger nudged Katya in the side. “So, just to let you know, I did vote for your girl for Shadiest Queen.” 

Katya rolled her eyes. She had figured that most would, but she still felt grateful to Ginger for distracting her from her regret. “Well, I voted for you, so I guess we’re even.”

“Ah! How dare you. Unless I win, then I’ll thank you in my acceptance speech.”

Katya and Ginger cackled, at least until they heard Violet laughing at Fame’s singing. That sobered Katya.

“Ooh, When I think about chickens…it makes me happy…” 

Violet could help but chuckle at Fame’s dorkiness. 

“You know,” Fame began as she painted her face, “when I was a kid, I used to go outside and sing random songs to my chickens.” 

Violet turned and gave Fame a double take. “What?” 

Fame nodded. “And I would, like, get into it, and think, ‘They love it!’” 

Violet shook her head. “Bitch, this visual you’re giving me… I’m just picturing you in a barn covered in hay.” Violet watched as Fame fell into silence as she perfectly painted on gorgeous eyes. Violet really felt a connection with her. “I feel good about us, Fame.” 

“I think it’s good that we’re getting to know each other.” 

“Working with you has been such a pleasure. I can’t wait until I outshine you.” 

Fame side-eyed Violet. “Violet, shut your hole.” 

Violet threw her head back and laughed. ‘ _I’m so glad I made a friend. Finally._ ’

–

The Despy’s began. 

Kasha and Katya stepped onto stage, both in sparking gowns, Kasha in silver and Katya in pink.

“Oh, my goodness everyone. We want to wec-welcome you to the first annual Despy Awards.”

‘ _Fuck, why did Kasha have to stumble? Stop, focus. Smile._ ’  

“Now, Katya, what in the hell does Despy stand for?” 

“Well, judging from the looks of the nominees, I’m gonna go with, ‘Desperate Egotistical Sluts Prancing in the Yard.’” Katya got a few chuckles for that, but not nearly as much as she thought they could have gotten. She hoped the rest of their set would get a few more laughs. 

Kasha and Katya then went through reading all the other queens, and then they finally came to Violet. ‘ _Please, please say she won’t hate this. Please._ ’ 

“And last, but not least…”

Katya chimed it, “As usual.” 

“We have…” 

They looked at each other and, in unison, said, “Violet.” 

A pause of silence filled the air as she looked down at her nails. Katya couldn’t even begin to tell how long it lasted; she only knew when it broke. Violet’s laughter filled the air before the rest of the audience was accompanied her. A mental relieved sigh, and they were done. Now, they got to relax in the audience and enjoy the rest of the show. 

Jaidynn and Kennedy did their routine with a fair amount of success. Pearl had surprised everyone with her energy and impression of Ginger during her set with Max. Then came time for The Shadiest Queen Award, one Katya knew Violet would win. 

“And the nominees are…”

She chewed on her bottom lip as Ginger and Kandy called out the nominations. Katya really hoped Violet would pull out a good acceptance speech. 

“The girl who puts the fun in elephant, Ginger Minj!” The audience laughed at Ginger’s annoyed expression.

“The, how do I say this and remain socially responsible? Black horse of the competition, Kennedy Davenport!” Ginger really had comedic delivery. Katya felt a little bad that she had been paired with Kandy whose delivery was pretty awful.

“And last, as usual, Violet Chachki.” Silence. Katya and Kasha at least did a better job than Kandy. “And the award goes to…Violet Chachki!” 

Katya looked over and saw that Violet had burst into fake, melodramatic tears. 

Violet stepped onto stage in a beautiful sheer, red-stoned gown. “You don’t like me! You really don’t like me!” Katya couldn’t help but grin at Violet’s overdramatic sobbing, “And last, but not least, God. Thanks,” at least until her voice turned apathetic, which made Katya howl.

Then, Violet and Fame went up for their set. Katya cringed inside. Neither of them were comedy queens, and realistically, Katya knew they had a good chance of blowing it.

Violet knew their script left a lot to be desired, especially after she listened to the other pairs. The one thing she knew she could pull off, and she had faith that Fame could pull off as well, was that she could deliver her lines with confidence. 

They went through the nominees. None of their jokes really landed well, but they did get some polite laughs. More than Kandy got at least. Plus, Violet knew that Fame and her clearly had the best dresses on that stage, which she hoped would help her pull off a safe. 

Together, Violet and Fame announced the winner. “And the Despy Award goes to…Katya!” 

‘…What?’ Katya met Violet’s eyes, and she noticed how Violet’s eyes left hers to travel down south before they met back up with hers. Violet’s lips quirked into a smirk, and Katya matched it as she walked up onto the stage to deliver her off-the-top-of-her-head speech. 

Katya turned and faced the judges, yet she stared off into the distance, both to look like a drama star and so they wouldn’t see her eyes beg her cock to stay calm. She didn’t need her meaty vagina to turn into a hard cock because of one sultry glance from Violet. “I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross who said: ‘The key to a swollen vagina is…courage.’”

–

After the performances, the queens lined up on stage. Rupaul announced Pearl and Max as the winners, and they, along with Kennedy and Jaidynn, were sent back to the Untucked set.

Kasha and Katya were up first. Katya listened as they ripped into Kasha’s performance. She dug her fingernails into her palms as she tried to keep it together for her turn.

When Rupaul called for Katya’s critique to begin, Ross looked at her. “You two struggled in the opening a little bit,” Katya cringed, “but when you accepted your award, I thought you were so funny.” He grinned at her.

Katya smiled, happy that her humor got to shine somewhere.

Then, Michelle spoke up. She didn’t spend much time talking about Katya’s performance. Instead, she zeroed in on her look. “Tonight for your look, I just wanted more volume on your hair.” 

Katya’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? It’s from the Brooke Hogan collection.” Michelle laughed, and Katya felt some relief. She felt she was safe enough to avoid the bottom two at least.

When it was Violet’s turn, last just like all the jokes made about her that day, she made sure to stand tall, to project confidence even in the face of a lackluster performance.

The guest judge of the week, Isaac Mizrahi, started her critique off. “You are so fabulous looking.” Violet quirked the side of her lips up. “I look at you and go, ‘That is a modern queen.’ So refined.” Her quirked lips turned into a full-fledged smile.

‘ _If I can do anything, it’s turn out a flawless look._ ’

“About your performance,” Michelle began her critique, “you have a tendency to speed up. You speed up and…” Michelle drifted into gibberish mumbling to imitate how Violet can sound to an audience.

Violet nodded. “Totally.” She understood completely. A combination of excitement and nervousness would do that to her. She then remembered Kasha’s reminder to her to breathe from the last Untucked. She should have taken it more to heart.

“So, you need to let us hear it so we can actually laugh. It just wasn’t funny enough.”

Isaac Mizrahi cut in. “But her acceptance speech was hilarious! I mean, who doesn’t want to be the shadiest queen in the room? I mean, how punk rock is that?” 

Violet grinned a little at the praise, but she still felt a pang when she thought of all the reasons why the other girls disliked her. How they all, barring Fame now, seemed to hate her. How they probably all voted for her. Hell, knowing that she was going to win the award, even if she felt that shade was more throwing dust on people than being cunty, she voted for herself for the damn award.

Rupaul then turned the tide of the critique to ask, “Why do you think they voted you shadiest queen?” 

Violet felt taken off guard for a moment. While she shrugged her shoulders a little, she said, “There’s some truth to it.” 

“My guess,” Rupaul said, “is that you spend a lot of time by yourself reading fashion magazines.” 

Violet nodded. ‘ _Fashion is everything to me._ ’ “Definitely looking at fashion all the time.” Quick on her feet and wanting to show a little more of her own humor, Violet then added, “I mean, obviously the internet happened, Ru, I don’t know if you heard of it.” 

Rupaul chuckled. “Okay, thanks, Violet.” 

“Thank you.” 

The queens then retired to the Untucked set to reveal to the safe girls what went down during judging. As soon as Violet sat down with her cocktail, her eyes became trained on the floor. Thoughts of Rupaul asking her why they voted her shadiest queen went over and over in her mind. Over, and over, and over, and over.

Kasha spoke up first, pissed with part of her critique. “The thing was, Katya did write a lot of the stuff.”

Katya looked up, feeling a little shock at being put on blast like that. It felt like Kasha was blaming her a little for her performance, and Katya couldn’t help but feel guilty over any part she may have played in Kasha’s downfall. 

“I didn’t have the funnier stuff because it was yours, so, you know, no excuses, but what really pisses me off is even they tell me try. It pisses me the hell off to be told I’m not trying when other people are throwing the opportunity away.”

Max, looking uncomfortable with the tense direction of the discussion, asked, “Katya, you’re super quiet. You okay?” 

Katya looked looked up at Max. She had been blindly staring at Violet and didn’t realize it. “I-I’m fine. I just…” 

“You seem very contemplative.” 

Katya sighed as her eyes drifted to Violet’s hands clasped around her cocktail. “I’m just really disappointed because I was really excited about this challenge, and I thought I was gonna do well, and then, um…”

“You didn’t,” Pearl finished for her.

Katya slouched into her seat. “I was like, ‘Ugh.’” 

Ginger spoke up. “They loved everything but her hair.”

Katya threw her head back and laughed for half a minute. ‘ _Thank God for Ginger!_ ’ “I got dragged over the coals for this flat shake-and-go hair.”

The tense air around most of them had lifted. Violet, though, still stared off into space. Her lips quirked a little for a second at the shake-and-go comment, but that was it. Her thoughts just kept tumbling over, and over, and over. She didn’t even know how to go about voicing them.

Max’s eyes followed Katya’s line of sight to where they had shifted back to Violet. “Violet, do you have something to say?” 

Violet leaned forward. She couldn’t bring herself to meet anyone’s eyes, couldn’t bear to see anything judging, or mocking, or pity in someone’s eyes. Instead, she focused on the pink sequins covering Katya’s knees. “Yeah, um, you know, Ru asked me if I was surprised to get nominated for shadiest queen. I want you guys to know that I love all of you, and I don’t ever want to come across as like, I don’t know, hateful ’cause I’m not hateful towards anyone.” Nothing but silence came from the group. Violet’s throat tightened; it became clogged with something thick. Her voice wavered a little as she spoke again. “I’m struggling, and it’s a struggle. It’s a constant struggle, and, you know, it shows with me a lot.” 

Katya’s body tensed. She wanted to spring up and wrap her arms around Violet. She felt a need to shield Violet from everything painful in the world, every hurtful comment anyone had ever directed at her, and all the reasons that made Violet put up such a defensive wall. A need that she pushed down. 

Kennedy spoke up first. “The fact of the matter is your vibe at times is really negative,” Violet looked up at Kennedy as she spoke, “and you can be very defensive, and, like, you are rude. Things that you say and how you say it comes off very rude.” 

Violet stayed silent for a moment to take in and process what Kennedy had said. She always liked to process before she let herself react because she knew her initial reactions could often times be extremely volatile. “I get what you’re saying, and–” 

“And there’s like another moment when we were, um, like getting…” Pearl interrupted. “I’m not saying let me throw another one on you!” 

‘ _Bitch, slow down. Give a bitch some time to get it together._ ’ Violet threw her hands up in surrender. “Lay it on, lay it on me, lay it on. I mean just go ahead…” she said out loud. 

Katya watched as the girls started to throw examples of how Violet had been bitchy, rude, mean, whatever to them, and she watched as Violet’s body became tenser and tenser. It should have been obvious to anyone that Violet was about to snap. Katya cringed back as she waited for the explosion. However, when Ginger spoke up, Katya narrowed her eyes. ‘ _She promised._ ’

“It’s really frustrating whenever you treat people like that in the workroom, and then you go on stage, and pretty much anything you do is gonna get praised.”

‘ _Shut up, shut up, shut up._ ’

“They love–” 

“They love you.” Ginger continued. “That’s not your fault, but I think–”

“But at the same time, we’re not here to make friends.” Violet interrupted, fed up with the ‘let’s bash on Violet train.’ “I’m here to impress the judges, and not you guys. I have not felt friendship from anyone here besides this episode from Fame.”

Katya’s chest tightened to an almost unbearable pressure, and she jerked back into her seat. At the Fame comment, Katya saw Ginger look back at her. Tears prickled in the corner of her eyes, and she never noticed how Kasha and Max stared back at her.

Katya couldn’t even hear anything until Fame yelled out, “Leave my friend alone!”

‘ _Why couldn’t I have been that for her? Why couldn’t I have been that support system for her? The one to defend her?_ ’

‘ _Because you’re not worthy of her._ ’

‘ _I’m such a fucking fuck-up._ ’ Tears stung the corners of her eyes, and she felt so thankful when Kasha, who stood on the opposite side of the room from her, took command of the floor and had everyone’s, including Violet’s, attention trained on her. Katya dabbed her eyes with a Kleenex.

“The only thing I have to say about that; I have two things to say. One, you have a lot of pressure because you are very good, and there’s a lot of pressure from people looking at what you do. Okay?”

Violet nodded. 

“I do think you have a tone, but that pressure aside, one of the things apparent is, you even said it on stage, ‘These people are not my friends.’ If you easily dismiss all us that way, you’re not going to make a friend. Okay?”

Violet nodded again. She really didn’t want her voice to crack if she attempted to speak. 

“Honestly, though?” Pearl said. “This is the first moment that you’ve shown any vulnerability.”

“Yay, for Violet’s vulnerability!” 

Violet chucked as they started to applaud her. 

“And what I said came out the wrong way…” Ginger began before a video interrupted her. Ginger gasped as her William came on screen, and tears filled her eyes when he spoke.

“This is kinda difficult. This is the longest we’ve ever been apart in our nine years together. Which, nine years…that’s a whole lot. I’m so incredibly proud to be your husband and soulmate. What else can I say without breaking down?”

Katya watched as Ginger seemed to break down just from seeing him on a screen. She wondered if she and Violet could ever have a connection as powerful as them.

“I just miss you, and I can’t wait for you to come back home so I can show you exactly how much I’ve missed you. I love you, Goober. I really do, and I miss you. Just, come home.” 

Violet couldn’t even begin to stop herself from crying over Ginger’s video message, not on top of her own emotional breakthrough with the other girls. 

“Oh, my fucking god. He is so sweet,” Pearl said, “and cute, girl. Get it.” 

Ginger dabbed at her eyes. “I don’t show a lot of emotion, and I’m sorry about that. I’ve not had a very good life until I met that man.” Her voice broke. “He’s the first person to make me feel attractive, and talented, and like a human being. And being away from the one person who grounds me, I catch myself falling into my own defense mode. If anything from this entire experience, it’s made me realize that I don’t ever want to be away from him like this again.” 

Tears fell from Violet’s eyes. Seeing the love between them, seeing Ginger become so loving at just a video of her soulmate really made Violet start to question her own lack of desire to find hers. Her parents weren’t soulmates, and none of her close friends back home had found theirs, and they all seemed perfectly happy, so she never really thought of how much a soulmate could actually improve someone’s life. Not until she saw the difference between the tough shelled Ginger without William and the smiling, even with tears dripping down her cheeks, still in love Ginger.

The producers called the first five minute warning, and the girls all got up and headed for the vanity, the smokers to grab their much needed cigarette and the rest to touch up their makeup after all the tears that had been shed.

Fame, nearly immediately, started to break down. “I hate it. I just, I don’t know. I just relate, and I feel for her.” Violet went up and placed her hands on Fame’s shoulder in an attempt to ground her. “I feel for her. I just want to cry. You just feel for people. You just feel for people.” 

“I mean, it’s real.” 

“What is wrong with me? I just feel…I’m sorry. God!” Fame screamed, and Ginger and Katya couldn’t help but wait to go outside. They wanted to make sure Fame would be okay, and it was a nice distraction to their own thoughts. “What’s wrong with me? Ahh! Oh, my god, I’m so happy you found love! I can’t stop!” 

Ginger laughed and shook her head. Katya grinned as she watched Violet attempt to comfort Fame. She couldn’t believe just how overwhelming this past hour or so had become. 

“Fame is officially off her rocker,” Violet said as Fame bent down onto the floor. 

“It’s been a long time coming.” 

“Thank God I don’t have a soulmate. Otherwise I’d be losing it like you two whores.”

Katya felt like Violet had just punched her in the gut. She had to get away. She had to get away now. 

“Oh, you bitch!” Fame cackled.

Katya pulled on Ginger’s arm. Ginger nodded, and they turned to go outside. As they walked away, so overheard Violet reply to Fame.

“No, but seriously. I’ve never even seen how much finding your soulmate could affect someone.” 

Katya paused. Ginger stopped and stared and Katya, and she looked ready to intervene if necessary. 

“You, and Ginger, it’s really made me rethink the whole soulmate thing, you know? I mean, if it helped Ginger that much, it can’t be all that annoying, you know?”

“It’s not annoying at all. They really do just…fulfill something you may have never known you needed.” 

Katya smiled and turned away when she heard Fame start to talk to Violet about her own experience in finding her soulmate. That should remain private to them, and the cameras, but whatever. As she walked out the door, Katya missed seeing Violet’s eyes drift over Fame’s shoulder to watch her walk away.


	7. Ru-Hollywood Stories

The queens walked into the workroom after Kasha’s elimination. This was the first time Violet actually felt saddened over seeing another queen go home; she liked Kasha’s motherly vibe. Katya, on the other hand, felt horrible over seeing Kasha go home. It was her fault. She should have done a better job with creating the material, used more of Kasha’s ideas. If she did, maybe she wouldn’t have had to see another comedy queen go home too soon.

“So, who was everyone that won in the categories?” Fame asked once they had all gathered around the workroom table.

“I won!” Katya raised her hand, glad for the change of subject that distracted her from her guilt, and a bit proud over what she won.  

“Me,” Jaidynn also said, though she seemed a bit bummed about her win for Most Busted. 

“The award that was so unexpected was Violet,” Kandy said. 

Violet rolled her eyes as she leaned against the table. ‘ _Didn’t we go over this enough during Untucked? Do we really have to hash this shit out again?_ ’ 

“Shady lady.” Fame smiled at Violet. “How do you feel about winning that award?” 

Violet sighed. “You know, I was kinda expecting it.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

Violet glared at Fame, though it was halfhearted at best. “I just want you guys to know that I’m going to be working on the way I come across.” 

Katya smiled. She wanted to tell Violet something. What, she couldn’t put into words. She wanted to convey how glad proud she was over Violet for wanting to change the way her attitude came across, how thrilled she was when she saw Violet open up and show some vulnerability, how amazed she felt when she heard how Violet had new thoughts over soulmates. Katya wanted to say it all, but Pearl spoke up before she got the chance. 

“I won’t hold my breath.” 

Seeing how quickly Violet closed herself off and built that ice wall back up made Katya hesitate to say anything. Before she could even reformulate her words, Violet took off to her side of the room to change. 

‘ _Too bad, so sad. Of course you failed again._ ’ 

Katya shoved off the voice and went to her own rack of clothes to change out of drag. She hoped the weekend would bring some clarity.

–

During the day on Saturday, when she wasn’t trying to catch up on sleep or avoid jerking off to memories of Violet’s perfect ass, Katya paced her room as she relieved the memory of Violet and Fame’s conversation from Untucked. Should she wait like she planned? Should she change her mind and just tell Violet everything and show her mark? 

Katya tried to watch TV with Cheryl, she even tried to watch some show about tree houses, but nothing caught her attention. She needed to be working on something, but there was nothing to do stuck in a hotel room, at least not without knowing what to prepare for. She needed to be in the workroom again, needed to be around people, needed Violet, needed a drink.

‘ _No!_ ’  Katya slapped a hand over her eyes. ‘ _Fuck no._ ’

‘ _You’re weak. You know you are._ ’

Katya gritted her teeth. ‘ _No. I’m fine. I can do this._ ’

‘ _You’ll fail just like you did in the past._ ’

Katya curled up on top of the bed comforter and clutched Cheryl to her. She closed her eyes as her breath started to hitch and tears leaked out of her clenched eyelids. 

Soft knocks on her door, around three am according to her clock, awoke Katya. She wiped her crusty eyes as she walked to the door to see what the handlers, producers, or whoever wanted. However, when she opened the door, it was not anyone she had expected. It was Ginger.

“You going to let me in or let me get caught?”

Katya moved to the side, and Ginger hurried on in. “What about the tape?” 

“Don’t worry about mine, and I’ll fix yours when I leave. We’ve got some time before the next shift change.”

Katya shook her head, unable to believe Ginger was actually with her in her room. “What are you doing here?” 

“What else? I’m here to check up on you and see how you’re doing with the whole Violet thing.”

Katya sighed before she told Ginger of her dilemma over whether or not she made a mistake in not telling Violet earlier. 

“Oh, hush up. You made the right choice. You already know what a competitive bitch she is.”

“Hey!”

“Plus, it’s only a couple more weeks, and then this will all be over and you two can go frolic wherever a Russian whore and bauble would frolic to.”

Katya looked down at her bare feet and chuckled. “You’re right.” Katya nodded her head. “You right.”

“I’m always right,” Ginger laughed. 

Katya cackled. “You stupid bitch!” They then spent the next hour chatting and gossiping about the other queens without any worries over cameras or anyone overhearing. It was all a great distraction, and once Ginger left, Katya fell into a peaceful sleep, and she spent the rest of her weekend in, as much as she possibly could, relaxed state of mind.

–

Monday morning came, and they all felt ready for another grueling week full of challenges. 

Katya, feeling a little courageous, not to mention curious, asked, “If you guys had to have sex with one other queen in this room, who would it be?” 

Violet covered her eyes with her hands as she felt her cheeks heat up. “Oh, my god!” She never got embarrassed over sex. It was all fun and natural; it’s why she enjoyed hookups. So why did her heart start to race when Katya asked? 

Katya felt taken aback by Violet’s, admittedly adorable, reaction. She thought Violet would just immediately start to spout of names, and she hoped Violet would be inclined to include her, but instead, Violet actually looked a little embarrassed, and Katya could help but grin at her bashfulness.

While Max opted out of the conversation and Fame asked is she could pick more than one, Ginger smirked at Violet’s reaction. Being a good friend to Katya, she decided to push it a little to see how Violet would react to some gentle prodding. “We’d probably all pick Katya just ’cause she won meatiest tuck.”

Violet rubbed her cheeks and hoped no one picked up on her moment of weakness. She looked up and met Katya’s eyes. Her ears burned before she turned away to look at Fame across the table who grinned back at her with a glint in her eyes, clearly having noticed her reaction. ‘ _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ ’ She had to rectify the situation. She wasn’t embarrassed at the conversation. She wasn’t. “Well, who is a top and who’s a bottom if we’re talking about sex?” 

“We’re not talking about sex…” Max replied as he turned away from everyone. 

The table laughed at his response. Relief coursed through Violet as everyone, hopefully, had forgotten her momentary embarrassment if they had noticed at all to focus on Max’s prudishness instead. 

Everyone but Katya who just stared at Violet’s fair cheeks and ears that had moments ago been bright pink. Katya wondered what other parts of Violet would look good pink. She imagined a flush that travelled down Violet’s long neck and down her narrow chest. Her nipples, already pink, would be hard. Red bite marks would litter Violet’s shoulders, hips, and thighs. A pink handprint left behind on that firm, perfect…

‘ _Fuck! Stop, stop._ ’ Katya mentally slapped herself. ‘ _It’s clearly been way too long._ ’ A quick shake of the head, and Katya was ready to be focused on the challenge at hand, which became even more difficult to maintain during the Monster in Your Pants mini-challenge. Katya put on a show for Rupaul and the cameras of being disappointed over losing with her first pick, but in reality, she was grateful to have lost immediately so that she could prevent a problem from growing.  

Rupaul announced that Ginger had won the mini-challenge. “For this week’s maxi-challenge, you’ll be acting in the behind the scenes reenactment series, hashtag RuHollywood Stories. This week’s episode, ‘Whatever Happened to Merle Ginsberg?’” 

‘ _Another fucking acting challenge? Are you fucking kidding me?_ ’

“Ya’ll remember Merle?” The queens nodded. “She sat by my side for the first two seasons of Rupaul’s Drag Race. In teams of three, you will portray Merle, myself, and Michelle Visage.” 

“Yes,” Violet laughed. While she didn’t feeling the loathing towards Michelle that she did at the beginning of the competition, Violet never learned how to forgive and forget. 

“You’ll reenact our very different versions of wha’ ha’ happened. Now, Ginger Minj, you won the mini challenge, so you get to pick your teammates.” 

“Kennedy Davenport and Katya.” Ginger took no time in pondering over her decision.

“And then, you get to assign the other two groups.” 

Katya cringed. She hoped Ginger would be fair to Violet. 

Ginger glanced at Katya for a second before she looked at the remaining girls. “Max, Violet, and Kandy.” Which then left Fame, Pearl, and Jaidynn in their own group. 

Katya breathed out a sigh, glad that Violet was with Max, someone with some acting experience that would hopefully guide her in the right direction.

“Now, listen, I need you to break this mystery wide open. Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win!” 

Violet cringed at being paired with Max again. While she knew he could be a decent team leader, the last time she worked with him though, he made her feel like shit. One of the supposedly nice queens thought she was a horrible bitch. ‘ _Just going to stay calm. I’ll prove that I’m trying to be nice, even if I am sick of memorizing lines, lyrics, and having to work with people that are not myself. Just grin and bear it._ ’

Violet’s group gathered around a table, and Violet climbed on top and sat down crossed legged as  they looked through the script. 

Max began their discussion over the script. “We just gotta have fun with this because there’s nothing to this but being completely nonsensical. Okay, so how do we feel about characters?” 

Violet groaned. “I don’t know.” ‘ _I’m a little over these acting group challenges._ ’ Violet flipped through the script, and as pale as she was, she did not feel at all comfortable with playing Rupaul, which she told Max and Kandy. 

“Do you want to try Merle?” 

“I was contemplating Michelle just ‘cause I can do that Jersey thing.” ‘ _Plus, I really want to poke fun at her._ ’ Violet had a bit of a vindictive streak. 

“The Meryl one, that one’s off for me. I do not know nothing about her,” Kandy said, and through process of elimination, they had their parts, Violet as Michelle, Max as Merle, and Kandy as Rupaul. 

Across the room, Ginger whacked Katya’s thigh. “Focus, Merlie girl.” 

Katya had zoned out as she watched Violet rehearse with Max and Kandy from her own table. She just wanted to make sure that Violet remained content in her group, that no one upset her. Just before she looked back down at her script, Katya saw Max meet her eyes at her with a strange and confused look on his face before his eyes darted back and forth between Katya and Violet a couple of times. Katya gulped and looked down at her script. ‘ _Does he suspect? Fuck. I can’t deal with this right now. Focus._ ’

‘ _Maybe he wants her?_ ’

Katya gritted her teeth at her inner voice.

‘ _Remember how good they looked together when he had his arm around her? How much better he’d be for her?_ ’

Katya’s eyes stung as she glared at the script in front of her. She barely even heard Ginger’s recitation of her lines, which sounded like Ginger playing Danny Devito as Tony Saprano as the Fonz as Michelle Visage. ‘ _Focus_.’

Violet saw Max look over at Ginger’s team. “What is it, Max?”

Max startled, and he looked back at Violet with wide eyes. “Oh, it’s nothing, I think.”

Violet squinted her eyes. “You think what?”

Just then, Rupaul walked back into the workroom. “Hello, hello, hello!”

Violet saw Max’s shoulders slump down from relief as he got up and led his team to stand in front of Rupaul with the other queens. ‘ _What is going on?_ ’

“In a moment, you’ll meet with Ross Matthews who will be directing your ru-enactments, and tomorrow, for the runway, category is,” the queens held their breath as they all hoped for something different, “Death Becomes Her.” 

Violet grabbed onto the side of the table as she turned into a literal reenactment of Tigger with her bouncing a foot in the air. How she held back the squeal that lodged itself in her throat, she’d never know. ‘ _Finally! They’re all going to fucking drop dead!_ ’ 

Katya couldn’t help but grin at Violet’s enthusiasm. She couldn’t wait to see what Violet had planned that made her so giddy for the runway. 

–

The next day, after performances that every team had struggled with in some aspect, they prepared for the runway. 

Katya and Ginger pulled out their outfits for the runway and hung them out on the side. When Katya saw Ginger’s bear coat, she couldn’t stop the chuckle. “Looks like we had the same idea!”

Ginger looked at her, puzzled, until she saw the shark leg-warmer. “Seriously? Both of us had to die by animal attacks? You couldn’t have come up with your own idea for once?”

“Ah!” Katya slapped her hand across her chest. “You bitch!” She held her shocked expression for a few seconds before she and Ginger doubled over in laughter. When she looked back up, her eyes trailed over to Violet who had hung up a corset and panties on her rack. 

At Katya’s groan, Ginger looked over to see what had caught her eye. “Well, looks like another runway, another naked Chachki.” 

Katya snorted. “That was bad, even for you.” 

They then walked over to the vanity where the other girls had congregated. Once there, Kennedy opened up the conversation. “Katya, how did you family feel about you doing drag?”

Katya smiled. “Oh, they’re amazing. Never had anything to worry about or feel self-conscious about.” 

“Wish my mom would be like that,” Jaidynn said. 

“What’s your mom like, Jaidynn?” Violet asked. Katya kept her ears alert, concerned about Jaidynn but even more interested in the possibility of learning something new about Violet.

“Me and my mom were like best friends, but it’s just kinda hard ‘cause…” Jaidynn trailed off.

“Of the drag?” 

“It’s not really the drag, it’s just sexuality.” 

‘ _What?_ ’ Violet looked at Jaidynn in shock. “So, they’re okay with the drag but not okay with you being gay?” 

“They’re not really okay with the drag; they just know I do it.” Jaidynn took a deep breath. “I love my family. My biggest fear is of being disowned.” 

“And that’s a real fear. That’s, like, a serious fear.” Violet remembered when she had a packed bag for when she told her mom, even though it should have been obvious just from looking at her, but just in case, Violet needed to be prepared. 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s just weird not being your authentic self,” Fame said from her spot next to Violet. 

“Even in your own home,” Violet added.

“And it’s either live my life and do what my family wants me to do and be unhappy or I can do me.”  

“Well, do you and be happy,” Max said from his mirror.

Violet nodded her head. “Definitely do you. Remember what Ru always says. You really do have to love yourself, and you should love yourself more than anyone else. When you don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, you can fall into a dark place.” 

Katya swallowed back the bile she could feel rise in her throat. She remembered how she fell into her dark place. The alcohol and drugs took over her ability to be happy; they took away her ability to just be herself. They destroyed her sense of self-worth and gave that little ball of anxiety and doubt more life than she could handle at times. That voice gained more power over her own, and she’d try to drown it in alcohol, and it just became a continuous cycle of destruction. Even though she stopped the cycle of destruction that fucking voice still haunted her.

“So, what’s your relationship like with your parents?” Jaidynn asked, which shook Katya from her memories to listen to what Violet had to say. 

“Oh, it’s good. Now, at least. When I came out, I basically told them to fuck off, this is who I am, and you’re going to have to get over it or I’m gone.” 

Max raised his eyebrow as he looked at Violet’s reflection in his mirror. “And just like that, it was all good?”

“Well, I ran away for awhile.” 

Katya dropped her brush. “Really?” 

Violet turned her head to meet Katya’s eyes. “Yeah. I squatted in a trap house for a couple of months.”

“What?” Fame cried out as she slammed her foundation brush to to counter. “Oh, my god, how old were you? My baby!” Fame pulled Violet into a hug. 

Katya stopped breathing. ‘ _What? A trap house? No. Please, no, no, no…_ ’

‘ _Well, look at that. Maybe you are perfect for one another. Two fuck-ups._ ’ 

“Oh, my god,” Violet laughed, “get off of me, you idiot!” Violet wiggled, twisted, and shoved until she got out of Fame’s grasp, and while she wanted to glare at Fame for her manhandling, she couldn’t get rid of the grin on her face. “I’m fine, obviously.” Violet picked up her brush and continued to paint her face. “I was fifteen, and when I went back home, my parents were all apologetic and shit, but since they didn’t want me to take off again, they learned that they had to let me be me.”

“But you were…”

“I’m fine.” Violet rolled her eyes. “It was all fine. I mean, I’m not interested in anything more than poppers and free drinks, which my first drag mom taught me to get,” Violet winked, “so it’s all good.” She looked back at her mirror to finish up her makeup. 

‘ _Maybe not. Looks like you’re still the only fuck-up here._ ’

‘ _Shut up._ ’ Relief never felt sweeter that in knowing that Violet didn’t suffer like she did. She always knew Violet was stronger than her, and she was so proud of Violet for never letting that confidence waver.  Katya turned back to her mirror and finished painting her own face.

Katya then went around and behind the divider to change into her padded undergarments and then slid on her gold-sequined leotard. She went back to the mirror to pin in her hair before she put on her sequined captain jacket. As she set the sailor’s cap on her head to complete the look, in the corner of the mirror, she saw Violet step out of her rack. Katya’s mouth dropped open. Violet had cinched her waist tighter than Katya had ever seen before; she looked more like Barbie than Trixie did. 

‘ _Fuck_.’

Katya spun around, and when she saw Violet bend over, without thinking, Katya hurried over. When she got close to Violet, she saw her attempting to fix her shoes. The back of her heels have caved in, so Katya knelt down in front of her. It felt like her body was reacting without regard for Katya’s approval. Her body just did what it wanted. 

Violet’s eyes widened as she took in Katya’s sudden appearance. 

“Need any help?” Katya asked as she placed a hand on Violet’s heel. Her thumb rubbed up and down against Violet’s achilles tendon. 

Unable to speak, Violet just nodded. 

Barely breathing, Katya slipped the black platform stiletto off Violet’s foot. In one hand, she straightened the back of the shoe while the fingers on her other hand pressed into the arches of Violet’s foot. 

Violet’s toes curled. 

Once she slipped the shoe back on, her fingers danced up Violet’s shin before they moved to Violet’s other foot to repeat the process. The shoe slipped off, and Katya’s thumb stroked Violet’s ankle. 

Violet’s eyelids fluttered. 

When Katya pressed her fingers against Violet’s arch, she dug them in a little harder than the last time, which made Violet let out a gasp. 

When both shoes were back on Violet’s feet, Katya placed a hand on Violet’s knee. 

“Better?” It came out hardly more than a whisper. 

Violet nodded with half lidded eyes. “Thank you,” came out from just a sliver of a hole from parted lips.

Katya stood back up and nodded back to Violet. She then turned and made her way over to Ginger to wait in line for the runway. ‘ _What the fuck did I just do?_ ’

‘ _What the fuck just happened?_ ’ Violet closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again, she saw Max stare at her from his spot in front of the mirror where he finished touching up his natural-looking paint job. 

He raised an eyebrow, asking her what that was all about. She shrugged her shoulders. She went back to her suitcase to grab her handmade coke bottle oxygen tank and slipped the mask around her neck. She couldn’t think about what that whole weird thing with Katya was about. All her focus had to be on slaying the runway.

–

After the runway and the videos of the performances were played, Katya felt nervous. While she and Ginger did, what she thought, a great job at their parts, Kennedy had floundered, and Katya didn’t know how that would affect Rupaul’s judging.

“Ladies, I’ve made some decisions.” Katya held her breath. She really hoped for safety. “Ginger Minj, yours is the winning team. You are all safe.” 

Katya grinned. ‘ _Yes! Thank God._ ’ 

“But tonight on the runway, one of you stole the show. Katya, condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.” 

Katya’s mouth fell open as Rupaul announced that she had won. It didn’t even matter what she had won, just the fact that she had validated her being there at that moment so much, and when she glanced at the other queens applauding her, Violet’s soft and proud smile made her feel like she could walk on water without a shark attacking her. 

“You may leave the stage.”

The judges then began their critiques. 

“Violet Chachki. Now, how many inches is your waist?” Rupaul asked.

Violet grinned. She had heard when Ariana Grande, one of the guest judges of the week, gasped the minute she had stepped onto the runway, not to mention all of the “Oh, my gods” that passed through the other judges’ lips. “Either eighteen or nineteen.” 

“You might have been playing a dead person, but we were living,” Ariana said. 

“Here’s the thing,” Michelle said, “you as me, I’m not from Staten Island, I’m from New Jersey.” 

“Well, it’s a characterization, Michelle,” Rupaul said. 

Merle, the other guest for the week, brought up comparisons between Violet and Mr. Pearl, a compliment if Violet ever heard one, though she still felt frustrated with her lack of significant growth in the acting challenges that Michelle, without fail, brought up. 

– 

Back in the Untucked lounge, the Bitter Old Lady Brigade, as Ginger dubbed them, enjoyed their safety.

“So, congratulations on your win…” 

“Yay, congratulations, girl,” Kennedy interrupted.

Ginger rolled her eyes. “…Katya.” 

Katya grinned and waggled her eyebrows. “Thank you so much.” 

“I’m so happy for you,” Ginger said with a faux annoyed smile.

“I know you thought you were gonna win.” 

“Every time I think I’m gonna fuckin’ win something, it’s like, ‘Thanks for playing. Try again next time, bitch.’” 

Kennedy then decided to change the subject before Ginger became too fired up over her lack of win. “Girl, let’s talk about these looks.” 

Katya grinned as she stared at Kennedy’s deep-fried chicken monstrosity. “Yeah, what exactly are you giving us right now? Were you slashed in the off, off, off Broadway production of Lion King?” 

“Lion Queen.” Ginger winked at Katya over the stupid joke. 

“No, bitch. After a long night of hookin’,” Katya laughed as Kennedy began to explain her outfit, “trade didn’t like the session, so he had gutted me.” 

Katya put on a straight face. She could act like this was a serious matter. She did just win an acting challenge against a trained theatre actor. “Okay.” 

“And set me on fire.” 

“Oh, I see.” 

“But I didn’t die.” 

“Okay.” Katya nodded her head even though she had no idea where this story was going as Ginger sipped her cocktail. 

“I had crystalized, and now I’m a glamazon, bitch, ready for the runway.” 

Katya pursed her lips as she tried to hold back a smile. 

“So, what you’re saying is, you had a costume, you had to make it fit the theme,” Ginger said. 

“Right. Just like how you wanted to put on that black dress.” 

“Girl, just because I didn’t want to shave my back, I threw more fur on it. I had to represent for my people.” 

Katya laughed. “And what people are that?” 

“The bears.” 

Katya sat in confused silence for a moment as she thought over what Ginger had meanr. “Oh, you technically are a bear, aren’t you?” 

“Technically?” Katya and Ginger laughed at one another. “I used to like you. You’re welcome for me for winning this challenge.” 

“Ah!” After they had calmed down, and since they were talking about outfits, Katya had to ask, “Okay, Violet?”

Ginger looked at her with a smirk as she said nothing and sipped her cocktail. She had seen that whole foot thing in the workroom so she knew exactly why Katya wanted to gush about Violet, and when Katya met her gaze, Katya couldn’t prevent the blush as she knew exactly what Ginger was thinking of.

“Well,” Kennedy began, oblivious to the silent conversation between Ginger and Katya, “she may be a bitch, but that bitch sure can turn out a look.” 

Ginger noticed that Katya tensed a little at the bitch comment which prompted her to speak up. “Well, she may be a bitch, but at least she’s direct with her attitude, unlike Max.” 

Kennedy nodded. “True that.”

“I mean, seriously, Max is the bitchiest of us all. He’s all nice and proper to our face, but the minute the cameras turn off, he starts bitching about everything.” 

Katya smiled as the conversation turned from criticizing Violet to griping about all the others girls. 

After they had moved from the couch to the tall chairs, the other girls joined them from the Main Stage. As Katya watched Ginger get progressively more annoyed at Max’s comments of his critique, she turned to Violet. “What about you, Violet, what did they have to say?” 

Violet swallowed down the sip of her cocktail before she answered. “They love my look, they love my corset, they thought it was crazy, and sickening, and awesome, and cool.” ‘ _You know, like usual._ ’ 

“They just want me to be a better performer, and, you know, I could have gone all raspy and butch with that character…I don’t know what I could have done. I mean, I feel like we were a really well-balanced team,” Violet looked at Max who nodded at her, “and they just want more from me. They want me to be, like, almost like someone I’m not.” Violet went quiet. She didn’t want to spend more time pondering over how she could push through more comedy acting challenges, so when she saw Pearl out of the corner of her eye, she smiled. “Pearl? Can I just say, like, I am actually living for your look tonight?”  

Katya watched as Pearl and Violet grinned at each other as Pearl bitched over his own outfit. Part of her felt thrilled that Violet seemed to be getting closer with some of the other queens, but another part – the darker part – of her couldn’t help but fear that she could become more interested in them than her, want them more than her, especially since Katya could hardly muster up a basic conversation with Violet. Why would Violet want to spend time around an anxiety ridden, drug addicted whore when confidence oozed from her pores? 

As Katya stared at the back of the couch, she missed when Violet’s eyes landed back on her. Violet couldn’t figure out what had Katya looking so down. She had just won the challenge.  

Before Violet could ask, Kennedy spoke up, but she directed her question at Jaidynn instead. 

“What’s up with you, Jaidynn? You over there all quiet.”

“They didn’t like nothin’, girl.” Violet sighed as they continued the expected conversation over critiques and turned to look at Jaidynn whom she sat next to. “They weren’t livin’ for my look; it was too Halloweenie, I guess. It just kinda sucks when, like, you put everything into a look, and then they’re just like, it’s not good enough, you know? ‘Cause I made this. It’s my creation, so, you know, it’s a bit more personal if you…” Jaidynn’s voice choked off. 

Violet had nodded along to everything Jaidynn had said about creating a look. “If you put the work into it, I know. It’s so true.” As Jaidynn’s lip started to tremble, Violet began to rub her back. She wasn’t a total bitch after all. 

“Girl, does it piss you off when you serve something very different every single week, and there’s people who get by doing the same shit and get praised for it?” Ginger asked.

Max looked at Violet with his mouth wide open as a small laugh escaped. Violet separated herself from Jaidynn and tried to hide her smirk as she drank through her straw as Jaidynn attempted damage control before drama broke out. “Well, each person has their own gig…”

Luckily, before it could turn into something, the producers pushed the TV out in front of them. Fame’s mom popped up on screen and started to talk, and talk, and talk about how proud she was of Fame, and the more she talked, the more the rest of them got to know the inner Fame.

“And at that fragile age of twenty years old, you faced this disease called addiction, and you took it by the horns, and nine years later, it’s been over nine years, that you have become this monumental icon…” 

Fame laughed as her face heated up from the abundance of praise. “This bitch…” 

“…in your life. You have been so encouraging to me that I chose to do recovery as well, and I just wanted to let you know how inspirational you are.” 

Violet smiled, so thrilled to learn more about her friend. ‘ _Friend!_ ’ A giggle burst passed her lips; she still couldn’t believe that she had made a friend and was growing closer to more after that awful first week.

Katya had taken a deep breath when Fame’s mom revealed her past addiction. She suddenly felt a lot less alone and seeing how supportive Violet acted towards Fame made Katya feel like Violet could understand her and could, would, be another great support system. 

After the video, the queens dispersed. Katya went outside for a smoke while Violet touched up her makeup in the mirrors.

“Ginger says some things sometimes that are…” Max spoke up while he looked at himself in his compact mirror. 

Violet grinned. “Bitch…” 

“Like when she said that thing about…” 

“Oh, my god.” Violet laughed. She enjoyed creating a better relationship with Max. While Max could be sweet, he also a bite in him, something Violet very much appreciated.

“…some girls have been wearing the same thing on the runway, I was like, who are you talking about? Are you talking about yourself?” 

“I was like, ‘Ah-ah-ah.’” 

Max grinned as he beckoned Violet over as the cameras focused on someone else. “Who do you think she was talking about though?” 

Violet walked over. “Bitch, I don’t even know, but she better not have been discrediting the shit I do.” 

Max nodded. “You always bring it, Darling.” Violet smiled, pleased with the compliment. “Anyway, on another topic,” Violet raised her eyebrows, “is there something going on with you and Katya? Because I saw you two back in the workroom earlier today. Don’t think I forgot about that.”

Violet blushed as she looked down at her feet, feet that Katya had held like precious glass in her hands. “I-I don’t even know.”

“Really?” Max raised his eyebrow. “Last week I caught you two glancing at each other. You sure that there’s not an actual romance blossoming on this show?”

Violet shook her head, though she couldn’t turn down the quirk of her lips. “No, no. I mean, I don’t know, I guess? I mean, everyone likes Katya, right?”

Max nodded his head.

“I mean, she’s funny. She’s kind to everyone. Even on the first day we had a bit of a pleasant conversation, but, I don’t know.” Violet’s smile faded. “I don’t know. I feel drawn to her or something, but I don’t know what she thinks of me.”

“What do you mean? She certainly seemed pretty interested today.”

“Yeah, today, but other times she seemed to go out of her way to avoid me, so, I don’t know.” 

Max stood up and pulled Violet into a brief hug. When he let her go, he left his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Well, maybe she was just confused because you are a beautiful person. Inside and out, even if it can be a little challenging to see through that prickly exterior.”

Violet laughed and pulled Max into her own hug.

After they released each other, Max said, “Let’s go finish prettying ourselves up for our safe spot.”   


	8. Snatch Game

The queens returned to the workroom after Kandy’s elimination. None of them really expected her to stay, not after seeing her land in the bottom three times, so no tears were shed. 

After wiping away Kandy’s message, Jaidynn, feeling relief at her success at the lip sync, turned to Violet. “Let’s talk about you in this corset, honey. How does she breathe? I don’t get it.” 

Violet smiled as she sat atop the table. “I feel amazing,” she said as she leaned back against Pearl, who giggled at her ridiculousness. “You don’t even know how long I’ve been waiting to show this look off.”

“How on earth did you even get your waist that small?” Katya asked. Violet looked like she could be snapped in half. She looked so frail.

“Are we gonna sit around and talk or get out of drag?” Kennedy asked before Violet could form a response, already half out of her monstrosity of an outfit. 

‘ _Yeah, whatever. Of course you would say that, looking like Tony the Tiger on crack_.’ Violet rolled her eyes as she hopped off of the table as the rest of the girls dispersed to get out of drag. She had forgotten about Katya’s question until she looked up and saw that Katya had already hung her blue jacket back up and was now working on removing her hair. Remembering what Max had said earlier made Violet want to go up to Katya and ask her to help her loosen her corset and answer her question. 

Violet took a step towards Katya, but then she paused. ‘ _No_.’ She shook her head. ‘ _No_.’ She turned to find Fame instead, already in her undergarments, and pulled her aside to force Fame to help her with her corset. ‘ _It’s better this way. Fame has more experience with corsets anyway_.’ 

Back at the hotel, Violet berated herself as she cleansed the day away in the shower. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. Why did she feel so awkward around Katya? When Violet liked someone, she’d make them want her, fuck them, then ditch them. She didn’t do romantic emotional attachments. She never even felt this awkward in middle school around boys because she nearly always found a way to get what she wanted, and the few times she didn’t clearly didn’t matter much to her. So, what was with the Katya crush? 

‘ _Fuck it. Next time, I’m just going to go for it_.’ Violet nodded to herself as she stepped out of the shower. After toweling herself off, she threw on a loose shirt and underwear and climbed into bed. Violet forewent the corset; she did just wear it at its tightest for hours that day. One night wouldn’t hurt. Plus, the corset rubbed parts of her back raw. 

–

The next day, they all felt a little sluggish as they walked into the workroom. They had reached the halfway point of the competition. They mindlessly chatted around the table over how different the challenges were to perform than when they merely watched the show on television until they were called for the Ru-Vision 

“Hello, hello, hello!” 

As Rupaul walked down the stairs, Violet couldn’t help but voice her pleasure at seeing Rupaul’s outfit. “A vision in polka dot.” 

Rupaul smiled at her for a second before he addressed the group. “Now, for weeks the judges and I have encouraged you to show us the real you, and you know what? I’ve had about all of that I can take.” 

They laughed, and Katya held her breath. ‘ _Is it?_ ’

So, today, it’s time to find out who else you can be. That’s right. This week’s maxi-challenge is… Snatch Game!” Everyone cheered. “Now, go on and hashtag that.”

A smile had completely enveloped Katya’s face. ‘ _This is literally what everyone has been waiting for. What I’ve been waiting for. I-I can really prove myself with this._ ’

“So, you need o impersonate another star’s charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent, but be careful of who you choose because it can be a very hairy situation. Gentlemen, start your engine and may the best woman win.”

Violet grinned. ‘ _Finally! Not a group challenge. I don’t have to rely on anyone else for once._ ’

Fame wandered up to Violet. “Who are you doing?” 

“I’m doing Donatella Versace.” 

Fame did a double take. “I’m doing Donatella Versace.” 

Violet nearly snapped her neck as she whipped her head to look at Fame. ‘ _I’ve been working on Donatella Versace for eight months._ ’ 

Katya froze as she heard that Violet and Fame say they were both doing Versace. ‘ _Shit. Someone please, please change_.’ Katya knew that Violet didn’t have the best luck with comedy, and if she had to be directly compared, it would more than likely hurt her and land her in the bottom two. Violet couldn’t lip sync for her life. It would destroy part of Katya to see it happen.

Max came towards them. “Sounds like one of you have to be the bigger person and just bow out.” 

‘ _Yes, listen to Max. Bow out_.’ Katya thought as she listened in to their conversation from the Bitter Old Lady Brigade’s table. 

“Did you bring a backup character?” Fame asked

Violet shook her head. “Not at all. Not at all.” ‘ _I’m doing it_.’

When Fame bowed out, Violet felt relief course through her. ‘ _Thank God_.’ She went over to her rack and pulled out her clothes, and by the time that Rupaul reentered, she had moved on to painting wrinkles on her face. From the mirror, she could see Rupaul talking to Fame, and she could hear Fame telling Rupaul all about their Versace stand off. 

“Was it a discussion, or was she, like, ‘I’m doing Donatella.’”

‘ _Of course I was._ ’

“I just want you to do what’s in your best interest, not in the best interests of the other contestants.” 

Violet raised her eyebrows. ‘ _What do you think you’re doing, Rupaul?_ ’ 

“Well, fuck it, I’ll be Versace.”

Violet whipped her head to look back at Fame. ‘ _Seriously, bitch? Fuck. I’m still doing Versace though. I literally don’t have another choice._ ’

“Hello, Katya,” Rupaul said as he walked up to Katya. “Who are you doing?” 

Katya smiled. “Suze Orman.” 

“Have you done her before?”

Katya shook her head. “Nope.”

“Now, I know that you do a Russian act because the Katya character is Russian. Why didn’t you choose a Russian character because you do it so well?” 

‘ _Wha’? Should I have? Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck._ ’

Rupaul cocked his head to the side as he stared at Katya like a scientist would stare at a diseased and half-starved rodent smelling food from a container behind a cat-shaped, cat-smelling object to see if it would risk its life for a meal or give up and die starving. “What is it you’re afraid of?” 

“I don’t know. I think it’s, like…” Katya took a deep breath. 

‘ _He doesn’t care. Why would he care anything about a fuck-up like you?_ ’ 

‘ _Shut up_.’ Katya’s jaw twitched.

‘ _All you are to him is some good, disaster-waiting-to-happen, television_.’

Katya knew that she had to do something to silence that voice inside of her. “My whole life, I’ve been riddled with anxiety, fearful of things that aren’t a big deal.” 

Rupaul stared at her for a minute as he studied her. She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip. “You have an addiction to the anxiety.” 

With wide eyes, Katya stared at Rupaul. ‘ _Addicted to anxiety…?_ ’

“The reason you’re here is you’re super talented, so don’t be afraid.” 

“Thank you,” Katya said as Rupaul turned to leave. ‘‘ _Don’t be afraid?’ Easier said that done._ ‘  Katya thought of what Rupaul had said. ‘ _Addicted to anxiety. I’ve already been addicted to alcohol, crystal meth, cocaine, what’s one more? I guess…_ ’ 

‘ _One more that’ll make Violet wonder what she could have done to have been saddled with you as her soulmate_.’

Katya did her best to ignore the voice as she prepared for Snatch Game. While she couldn’t seem to get rid of the voice, Katya knew that she couldn’t let the voice affect her during challenges. 

Rupaul then made his way over to, “Violet Chachki.” 

“Hi, Rupaul.” As Rupaul came over to Violet, she couldn’t help but smile at him even though she was a little ticked off at him for persuading Fame to go with Versace.  

“Now, I heard a rumor that you’re doing an Italian superstar. How are you going to stay away from doing what someone else has done?” 

Violet scoffed. “Obviously, I think that I can execute a better look.” 

“Look is one thing,” Rupaul spoke up before she could go into full detail, “there is a different skill to make a character funny. What were the other ideas you had?” 

‘ _Seriously? I don’t have a fucking clue. Umm…_ ’ “I was thinking of doing Alyssa Edwards maybe…” Violet said off the top of her head. She did enjoy watching Alyssa’s Secret every Monday, so she figured she could possibly pull something out of her ass.

“Can I see a little bit of your Alyssa Edwards?”

Violet huffed a quick breath. ‘ _Fine_.’ “Bring it. One. Done. Top. Bottom. Done.” She popped her tongue at the end which made Rupaul laugh out loud. 

“That’s good! Might want to consider switching to Alyssa.” Violet opened her mouth, whether to protest or argue, she didn’t really know, but Rupaul continued to speak before a sound even left her mouth. “Listen, all you’ve got to do is make me laugh. Get to work.” 

Violet sighed. “Thank you.”  Violet rolled her eyes once Rupaul had turned his back on her to go give his advice to another girl. ‘ _Stir the pot, Rupaul. Do you want a spoon?_ ’ 

Violet stomped over to the mirrors next to Pearl and started to swipe off her makeup. “I cannot believe this shit.” 

“If you’re more comfortable doing Donatella, then do Donatella,” Pearl said since he had sat near her while Rupaul spoke to her. He had kept an ear open just in case. 

“Well, I was more comfortable when there was just one.” Violet threw her makeup sponge onto the vanity as she flexed her fingers, trying to prevent them from forming into actual fists. “Well, I guess I going to fucking do Alyssa Edwards.” 

“You don’t have to do it just because Rupaul said you should.”

Violet turned to look at Pearl. “Well, it’s like, am I gonna do better than her, or is it gonna be a competition?”  

“It will definitely be a competition.”

‘ _Fuck. I fucking hate competitions._ ’ Violet didn’t really hate competitions in general. What she really hated was just being compared to other queens and their or her art to be belittled for not being good enough. They were all artists, and all art was subjective. Violet preferred competitions where the artists were compared against themselves; Violet only ever compared herself, her art, her performances with herself and her past performances. She wasn’t funny like Ginger or kooky like Katya. She didn’t have as many couture gowns as Fame did, and she couldn’t dance a room down like Kennedy. But she didn’t need to. That was them. She was Violet, and the only thing that mattered was loving what she brought to the stage, so Violet refused to allow them to directly compare her to Fame. She would go on Snatch Game as Alyssa. 

–

The next day after their Snatch Game performances, Katya felt awful. Stomach acid churned in her belly and threatened to bubble up her throat. Her hands shook. She needed a cigarette. No, she needed a drink, or some white powder. 

‘ _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck_.’

‘ _You messed up. Again_.’

Katya squeezed her fingers together, almost to the point of popping them out of their joints. 

‘ _How did you ever think you even deserved to be here?_ ’

Tears started to pool in Katya’s eyes, and she shut them before they could spill down her cheeks. 

‘ _Violet will be an in demand queen while you will merely be a leech sucking the life from her_.’

‘ _Stop it_.’

‘ _Quit now_.’

Katya shook her head as her shoulders began to shake.

‘ _Give up._ ’

Katya got up and walked over to the mirrors where Violet and Fame sat where they had just begun to moisturize their faces in preparation for their paint. 

‘ _Once a fuck up, always a fuck up_.’

Violet turned her head to look at Katya when she saw her come towards her in the mirror, and she started to smile until she saw the distressed look on Katya’s face. 

“Can I talk to you in private?” Katya asked.

Violet was about to reply until she realized that Katya had asked Fame who immediately accepted. Not her. Was she wrong about Katya’s feelings towards her? ‘ _No_.’ After a quick shake of her head, Violet turned back to her mirror as they walked away. Instead of focusing on her beauty routine, though, she watched Katya and Fame’s reflections in the mirror. ‘ _What on earth is going on?_ ’

Fame sat down on the pink couch with Katya. “What’s going on?”

Katya took a deep breath. “I am kind of freaking out.” Katya looked at Fame’s eyes, gentle and unassuming, supportive without even knowing what was going on. ‘ _No wonder Violet likes her._ ’ “How long have you been sober for?”

A look of understanding passed over Fame’s face. “I’ve been sober for nine years,” Katya nodded her head, accepting that Fame probably felt a lot less pressured by intoxicating substances until Fame continued, “but counting days in here feels like being a newcomer.” 

“That’s exactly what it feels like!” Katya felt herself choke up. She wiped at a tear that had made an escape. “It’s hard.”

Fame placed a hand on Katya’s knee. “I’ve never seen that of you.”  

“I’m pretty good at hiding it.” Fame nodded her head to encourage Katya to continue. Fame’s complete focus on her just made Katya feel like it was finally okay to let it all out. Katya wiped at her eyes to try to stop the tears from blurring of her vision before she began. “I am terrified of failure, and my like sense of humor has been like a smokescreen. The first day I came in here,” her voice cracked, “the first thing I thought of was, ‘You don’t belong here. You’re not good enough.’” Tears pooled in Katya’s eyes as her throat became tight. “I-I-I didn’t realize like how badly…” Her voice broke off. “I’ve, I’ve actually never been able to love myself, and it’s like…”

Fame pulled Katya into a hug, stopping the deprecation. Fame rubbed Katya’s back as Katya sobbed into her shoulder. Katya had never allowed herself to say it out loud, to admit to her own fear of failure, of being unloveable, unwanted, undesirable. 

“You are love. You are loved.” 

Violet felt her heart shatter as she watched Katya cry into Fame’s chest. ‘ _What the fuck is going on? What even…?_ ’ Violet had no clue what to do. What she really wanted to do was take Katya into her own arms, but she knew Katya must have chosen to speak to Fame for a reason. It wasn’t her place to interrupt. Thoughts bounced around in her head over what she could do to help Katya feel a little lighter until her eyes landed on her latex peplum top she intended to wear for her leather and lace runway. 

Back across to room, once Katya had pulled away, Fame reassured her. “You’re being so hard on yourself. You’re in it, but you’re not alone. I’m here with you having those same fears and feelings.”

Katya smiled – a wobbly smile, but a smile. “This moment is what I’ve needed.” 

Fame smiled back. “I needed it too.” 

Katya pulled Fame into a brief hug before they both stood up to go beautify their faces. Katya felt so much relief at having let herself vocally admit to some of her fears as well as just letting herself cry. Once Katya finished her simple makeup, nothing compared to Fame’s own, but it was adequate enough, she stood up to head to her rack. At least, that was her plan until a finger tapped her on her shoulder.

Violet had been waiting for Katya to finish her makeup. While she waited, Violet had tucked, slid on her lace stockings, laced up her corset, and put on her bra. She lingered on the rest of her clothes until Katya stood up, and before she could lose her nerve like she did after Kandy’s elimination, she walked over to Katya and tapped her on the shoulder. 

“Could you help me with my look?”

Katya turned to look at Violet. “Sure.” Her eyes scanned Violet up and down as she took in her lace stockings, black corset and black bra. “Where’s the leather?” Katya cringed as the question escaped her mouth. 

Violet smirked. “The leather’s more of an…accessory.” Violet tilted her head towards her rack before she turned around and walked over to it; she knew that Katya would follow her. 

“W-what do you need me for?” Katya cursed herself for stuttering. She forgave herself though when Violet bent over at the waist to dig for something out of her suitcase. ‘ _She’s going to be the death of me._ ’ When Violet stood back up, she pressed a tube into Katya’s hands. Katya looked down, and her eyes widened as she read the label, personal silicone based lubricant. Katya looked up and saw that Violet had her back to her. “Uh-uh-uh…”

Violet smirked at Katya’s incoherence, glad that Katya couldn’t see the glee on her face. She gestured to her latex top. “I was hoping you could lube me up and help me slide into my top…It’s kinda hard for me to get my full body adequately slick enough without a little…help.” Violet knew she was laying it on a little thick, but it was all worth it when she heard Katya gulp. 

“Okay.” Katya’s voice came out like a squeak. Katya squirted some lubricant onto her hands and warmed it between her hands for a moment before she laid her hands on Violet’s shoulder. Violet’s shoulder lowered as she relaxed into Katya’s touch. Katya pressed her thumbs into Violet’s shoulder blades for a moment, to massage some of the tense coils of muscle, before they rubbed all along her back. 

“Don’t forget my arms.” Violet lifted her right arm, and Katya wrapped her fingers all around Violet’s bicep before she glided her hands down to her wrist. Katya squirted more lube onto her hands as she massaged her way back up to Violet’s shoulder before she repeated herself on Violet’s left arm. 

Katya then spun Violet around. She had to make sure she was thorough. She watched Violet’s Adam's apple bob as she gulped from where Katya had placed her hands on her collarbones. Violet’s eyelids fluttered shut as her lips parted, and a thrill ran up Katya’s spine. Katya’s hand drifted down, down the corset to exposed hips. Katya rubbed her first two fingers over Violet’s exposed mark, the exact replica to Katya’s own, and she watched as Violet’s body shivered from the light caress. When Violet’s shivers had died down, Katya couldn’t resist the temptation to rub the mark again to see if Violet would have the same reaction. She did, and her body trembled.

Violet’s breathing had become heavy. She had never expected that asking Katya to help her would feel like this. She couldn’t even focus on what Katya was doing to her; she wouldn’t say no to anything though even if she did. Everything just felt so good, good, good…

Once Katya had throughly coated Violet’s upper body, she picked up Violet’s top, which Violet had already slicked up the inside of while she waited for Katya to finish her makeup. Katya wished she could have just laid Violet down and rubbed her down for hours and worked after strained and stressed muscle out of her body without the added corset and bra. ‘Another time.’ Katya lifted Violet’s loose arms and guided them into the sleeves. 

After Katya had slid the latex top all the way onto Violet’s slick skin, she squirted more lube onto her hand. Her hands then skimmed up Violet’s sides, and as she rubbed her hands against the latex, the latex shined. Katya applied more lube to the top, and she rubbed down Violet’s back, chest, and cinched belly. Violet shimmered and shined in the stressed filled workroom.  

A whine escaped Violet’s lips as Katya removed her hands, and her eyes fluttered open to see Katya’s eyes dilated as she wrung her slippery hands together. Violet bent down and picked up a hand towel she had swiped from the hotel and handed it to Katya. “Thank you.”

Katya smiled back as a short chuckle slipped out. She looked down at the towel in her hands as she wiped the excess lube off. “You are more than welcome.” Katya then turned away to go get herself dressed. Luckily, her outfit wasn’t too complicated or she would be in trouble; she already had to think about real vaginas to keep herself calm enough to tuck.

As Violet watched Katya walk away, she bit the insides of her cheeks to prevent herself from calling for Katya to come back, to help her with something else, help her pin up her hair, zip up her boots, something. Katya still needed to get dressed as well though, and Violet couldn’t set her back. While she watched Katya slip behind the partition, Violet slipped on her lacy underwear and clipped on her leather harness. She picked up her black ponytail, tip-dyed platinum blonde, and went to mirror to pin in her hair, and then she went back and zipped up her thigh-high boots. As she fingered her bit gag and nylon rope, a smirk appeared on her face while a new idea popped into her head. She slid the gag around her neck as she turned to watch for Katya to appear from behind the partition. 

“You’re being a complete tease.” 

Violet jumped at Max’s voice from behind her. Her eyebrow raised as she turned to look back at Max. “Haven’t you met me?”

Max chuckled. “You know you don’t have to try that hard for Katya to notice you.”

“But it’s so much fun.”

Max shook his head. “Anyway, do you think you can lace me up?” 

Violet smiled. “Of course, Darling,” Violet said with a mock accent. 

From behind the partition, Ginger couldn’t help but tease Katya. “Can you even tuck right now?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Looks like you have a hard situation.”

Katya cackled as the horrible pun. She and Ginger joked about how they thought the judges would react to their outfits, which helped distract Katya immensely from thinking about Violet, touching Violet, or seeing Violet tremble from her touch. She didn’t think about Violet at all as she got dressed. Nope, not at all, and if she felt better about lying to herself, well, that was her choice.

Ever since Violet had pulled her aside to ask for help, though, the voice hadn’t brought up any of her fears.

Once Katya finished getting her outfit on and hair pinned she headed over to join Ginger and Kennedy by the doors.

“Katya!”

Violet’s voice froze Katya in her tracks. ‘ _Isn’t she done? What could she want now? Stay calm, Katya. It’s probably nothing, just stay calm_.’ Katya turned to face Violet who was now covered in fetish gear. ‘ _Fuck_.’ Katya nodded her head to Violet as she did not feel confident in her ability to speak.

Violet lifted up a length of rope in her hands. “Think you can help tie me up?” she asked with a carefully constructed look of innocence on her face.

“O-of course.” Katya took in Violet’s face. “And get that look off your face. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Violet laughed as she handed the rope over. “Just make sure to keep it loose so I can slip it off on the runway.” Katya nodded. “You can make it tighter next time.” Katya fumbled the rope.

“Don’t make me spank you.”

“Promises.” Violet smirked. 

Katya bit her tongue. Apparently, it was going to be a long day for her.

–

Out on the runway, they waited for Rupaul’s verdict. 

“When I call your name, please step forward. Violet Chachki.” Violet stepped forward as her heart raced. “Pearl. You are both…safe. You may leave the stage.”

Violet smiled, and as she headed off the runway, she turned to look at Pearl and watched as Pearl’s leg gave out in front of her and nearly topple Max over. Violet couldn’t help but double over from laughter.

“Without killing the other contestants.”

Violet reached for Pearl, who had recovered, and helped him off of the stage.

Katya was thankful for the humorous respite, but once Violet and Pearl left the Main Stage, her palms started to sweat. ‘ _I’m in the bottom. I know I am. Fuck_.’

When it came time for Katya’s critiques, Michael Urie, the guest judge of the week, started by complementing her runway look. “To go from Suze Orman to Xena, the Warrior Princess. You look so beautiful,” Katya put on a seductive face that she knew she had seen Violet use before, “and I’m losing my train of thought.” 

Tamar Braxton, the other guest judge, said, “You really strutted your stuff. You were like Brittany at forty-five.” 

‘What?’ Katya bent over as she cackled.  

“And yesterday was hylarical.” 

Michelle then gave her usual critique that involved some sort of criticism, this time just saying she wanted more from her, but otherwise, Katya felt relief in knowing that she had been in the top three of the week and was pretty much completely safe, especially after the harsh critiques given to Jaidynn, Fame, and Max. 

Back in the Untucked lounge, Pearl berated herself. “Bust my ass. I’m such an idiot. Oh, God, I can’t just be pretty. I have to eat shit on the runway before I walk away.” 

Violet laughed. “There’s no possible way for you to be pretty on this show. It just isn’t in the cards, boo.” 

Pearl sighed. “No, it’s not.” 

“Give up now.”

Pearl rolled his eyes. “Now, what am I going to do for the next hour while they deliberate?” 

“Let’s have a kai-kai.” Violet rolled her eyes. Pearl was the designated hot one of the season after all. 

“Wouldn’t you rather have Katya for that?” 

“Shut up, bitch!” Violet wheezed as she laughed. “Does everyone know?” 

“We all fucking saw Katya lubing you up; it’s, like, the saddest seduction I’ve ever seen.” 

“You bitch.” Violet squirmed in her seat as she became aware of her lubricated body. “Oh, my god, I’m like dripping everywhere.” 

Pearl curled his nose. “That’s digusti-that’s probably what I slipped on!” 

Violet threw her head back as she howled from laughter. “No, it’s not! That’s not what happened, bitch, I wasn’t even over there.” 

“You know I slipped on your lubey ass. Leaving a snail trail all over that goddamn runway for Katya to follow like some yellow brick road or shit.” 

Violet flicked some invisible lube at Pearl.

“How good does it feel to get through Snatch Game?” Violet asked, changing the subject.  

Pearl rolled his eyes at the obvious change, but he humored her. “Right? I know. The whole experience was like a big LSD trip.” 

“It really is though. And this whole leather and lace runway has certainly been interesting to say the least.” 

“Well, you’re not even wearing leather.” 

Violet took a sip of her drink with a smirk on her face. ‘ _Oh, you’re trying to come for me, bitch?_ ’ “Oh, as if, bitch. Just throw some pleath, bitch, you’re piece was from like H&M.” 

Pearl let her mouth fall open from shock. “That is genuine fucking vintage leather.” 

“That is Forever 20 balls, and you know it.” 

“Oh, my god. I’m going to kick your ass. That was very expensive.” Pearl tried to sound stern and severe, but the laughter bubbled out anyway. 

Violet laughed as she mocked Pearl. “I paid a lot of money for this.” 

Pearl shook his head as he took a sip of his cocktail. “You’re non-leather leather and lace look, though, it’s still hot. You’re making me horny backstage.” 

Violet smirked. “But you’re always horny.”

“It’s true.” 

“Plus, weren’t you just saying how I’m in, like, a whole Katya romance?”

“True, but you’re also not actually together, so doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun while we wait for those tramps to get back here.”

Violet smiled, though her stomach churned a little at the thought of hooking up with someone other than Katya. “Of course.” ‘ _It’s not like I’m in a relationship with Katya, but I’m also not not in a relationship with Katya…Fuck, this is so confusing._ ’ 

Violet then decided to change the subject again. “Think about all the girls who have gone already.” Pearl and she then went through and talked about all the girls who had left and speculated on who they’d like to see come back if Rupaul decided to bring back that twist this season. 

Violet shifted as she felt some lube trickle down her back. “Can you see my taint?” 

“Is that a serious question? Absolutely.” Violet saw Pearl cringe and look at her crotch with the fascination of a teenager seeing how babies are born for the first time. “That gap is like real though. You definitely have the most committed looks, girl. Like, I’m barely tucked, and you’re always in pain,” Violet laughed while her corset bit into her skin and her shoes pinched her toes, “biting on something, corseted to hell, somethin’.”  

Violet took another sip of her drink only to find some it had turned to cold water from melted ice cubes. “Ugh, I’m, like, not even buzzed and the girls haven’t even gotten here yet.” 

Pearl smirked. “You’ve gotta pace yourself a little bit.” 

“This is celebratory. Let me have some of yours.” 

Pearl pulled his cocktail closer to himself as Violet reached over for his drink. “Get out of here.” 

Just then, they heard the clacking of heels and groans. 

“Uh oh, I hear trolls coming in.” 

Pearl smirked as he added, “I hear hooves.”

They giggled at each other as they watched as the rest of the queens trudge in. Violet asked, “What is the T?” It was her first time not having been out of the runway, and she actually felt a little left out of knowing what went down with the judges.

“Come have a seat, sweeties.” Pearl beckoned them over. 

Katya couldn’t help but notice how close the two of them sat, though she quickly pushed the jealousy aside as she saw Violet smile at her. “What the hell have you guys been doing in here? Scissoring the whole time?” 

“We have literally not been able to shut up,” Pearl answered. “So, how’d it go?” 

Katya went over to sit next to Violet on the end of the gold couch, and Violet turned to ask her, “So, what happened? Tell us everything.” Katya curled a little on her side so she could fully face Violet, but before Katya could answer her, Ginger spoke up.

“Well, they started with me.” 

Violet turned to Ginger. “Alright, Elvis. Tell us.” 

“Elvis Prissley. Prissley. Um, no, they loved what I did with Adele. They said that this is the first time that I’ve come out of my shell as far as the runway.” 

“This is my favorite look that you’ve done,” Pearl said. 

“This is so out of the box for me. This is nothing that I would typically do.” 

“Don’t you feel, like, cool and different in it?” 

“No, bitch. It’s leather. I’m burning up. There’s nothing cool about it.” 

Violet cocked her head. “Is it real leather?” ‘ _It doesn’t look real_.’

“Pleather. I’m for the animals.” 

As they spoke, Violet saw Max get up and leave the group to get his iPod. He looked completely stressed, something Violet had never seen on him. “What’s going on with…”

“He about fell out, girl.” Ginger replied. Ginger explained how Max had to remove his corset during the judging and sit down on the step. She explained how they had to take a moment for him. The other low girls dispersed to the mirrors while Pearl followed Max and Kennedy spoke to Jaidynn and Fame. 

‘ _No. Poor, Max_.’ 

Katya saw the saddened expression on Violet’s face, and she had to do something to change that. She remembered that she hadn’t gotten to share her critique and figured that could make Violet smile again. 

Katya nudged Violet’s shoulder. “Hey, ask me what they said to me.” Ginger snorted in the background but kept quiet to watch what she knew would be a sickingly adorable display.

Violet glanced at Ginger before she focused on Katya. “What did they say to you?” 

“That I looked like Brittany Spears…at age forty-five.” 

Violet’s mouth fell open, and Katya stood up as she laughed and pulled on Violet’s arm. “No! Who said it? Who said it?” 

“Fucking Tamar Braxton!” 

“Ah!” Violet screamed, and her laughter caused her to fall back into the couch. 

“She was, like, you look like Brittany and I would say forty-five, and I was like,” Katya looked around at her audience of two, “thirty-two, but who’s counting?” 

“Yas!” Violet cackled. 

Ginger could help but join in on the laugh train as she watched Katya collapse next to Violet. 

“Oh, my god! When my friends hear about that…” 

“Did your face crack?” 

“I cracked up.” 

“Oh, my, god,” Violet giggled. “That, and…” 

Katya started to count off her fingers as she leaned into Violet’s side, not caring over any possible lube getting onto her. “I got Xena, the Warrior Princess, I got video ho, and then Brittany Spears, age forty-five.” 

Violet shook her head. “Bitch…” 

“I was, like, between this and the Brooke Hogan in drag, I will be set.” 

Violet cackled as she shoved Katya off of her. “Girl, you have got your T-shirts, you’ve got your tagline, you have got all your material for your shows.” 

“Do you need a Brittany Spears impersonator fifteen years in the future? I’m your lady.” 

Violet laughed as she placed her own head on Katya’s shoulder. Once her laughter had died down, she said, “Thank you.” 

Katya smiled. “Anytime.”

Later, Katya would go celebrate with Ginger outside in the smokers’ area while Violet would tell Max to get his act together and not let a simple blunder get to him. At this moment, though, they just took a moment of peace with each other. They breathed in each other’s scent and sweat, and sure, Violet was a little ripe from forgoing deodorant, and yes, Katya smelled like stale cigarettes, but neither of them wanted to move. For anything.


	9. Conjoined Queens

“It’s getting real now,” Ginger said as the queens entered the workroom after Max’s elimination.

“It’s so getting real.” Violet felt saddened by Max’s elimination; she confided in him. He deserved to still be there. ‘ _He fucked up once, and just like that, he’s gone._ ’ 

“So, can we please talk about what Rupaul said at the end about someone coming back?” Pearl asked. 

‘ _Please, God, no. Not unless it’s Max, because I can’t stand the thought of someone like Jasmine coming back, even if she’ll be gone next week. I just don’t want to have to deal with her._ ’ Why did someone have to comeback? Couldn’t they have just done a non-elimination? Violet rolled her eyes at herself. ‘ _Regardless of what happens, though, whatever, I’m going to win._ ’  

The thought of someone coming back twisted Katya’s stomach. ‘ _Nice to know you. You’re beautiful._ ’ No one needed to come back. ‘ _Stay home._ ’ Katya finally felt like she could be in a good place mentally in this competition, but she fear that someone coming back could cause her to lose it again. She did not need to have another mental breakdown. The one she has earlier that day was more than enough. 

The queens then dispersed to undress, all of them annoyed or worse at the thought of someone returning, even the thought over someone they liked. Katya herself had already slipped out of her forty-five year old Brittany Spears outfit and was working on removing her wig while clad in only her tights and pads. They, luckily, covered her mark. 

“Ugh! You bitch!”

Katya cringed at Violet’s pain-filled sounds that spilled from her mouth as Fame loosened Violet’s corset.   

“Are you getting rope burn?” 

“My god, yes.” Violet’s voice came out as a hoarse whine as she attempted to dig her hands into the tabletop. 

‘ _Why does she do this to herself?_ ’ 

Violet sighed to herself once Fame had finished loosening her corset. Her back felt like it was on fire. As she unhooked the corset and pulled it away from her body, Violet could have sworn she felt pieces of skin that had become stuck to the fabric of the corset rip off of her. “Fuck.” 

Fame cringed when she saw Violet’s back. “Your back is fucked. You have little blisters everywhere,” Fame said as Violet rubbed her lower back where knots had formed. 

Katya looked over, and when she saw Violet’s back, her mouth fell open. ‘ _I’m going to be sick._ ’ 

When Fame saw Katya looking over, she nodded her head to Violet’s back. “It’s fucked. Look at her back. Look at all the blisters and pus inside.” 

Katya walked over as Violet just breathed in and out the pain. Small blisters had formed all along Violet’s back. Pus oozed from some that had broken open while some had clearly bled at one point and had now scabbed over. 

Violet’s insides squirmed as Katya’s scrutiny. Katya’s reaction made her skin crawl. This is what she did to achieve perfect beauty on the stage, but the look on Katya’s face, the look of horror and disgust, made Violet feel gross in her own skin, like maybe she had pushed it too far. ‘ _Stop it, girl. Pain is beauty. And I am the prettiest._ ’

Violet walked away from Katya’s stares and over to the mirrors to see what type of damage had been done, and she even grimaced. She could see faint old scars covered up by the new blisters that were, as Fame said, all over her back. Violet groaned. “I hate everybody.” 

“Oh, no!” Fame laughed.

A hand placed itself on her lower back, which made her jump in surprise. She turned to look at the owner of the hand. Katya. While Katya’s stares had made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin, Katya’s hand just made all the tension flush out of her. While the aches remained, stress seemed to almost vanish. 

A small smile played at the corners of Katya’s lips. “I hope not everybody.” 

Violet smirked. “What? You’re hoping to not be on that list?” 

Violet could see Katya fight back a smile. “No, not at all. I meant Cheryl.”

Violet froze. “Wait. What?”

“Cheryl. She’s my friend, though she can be difficult to understand if you don’t speak raccoon.” 

Violet’s eyes shifted back and forth as she tried to figure out what the hell Katya was talking about. “Uh huh…”

Katya winked. “I’ll introduce you sometime. She’s at my hotel room right now though.” 

“K…” 

Katya burst into laughter at Violet’s confused face. It had taken all her willpower to have not laughed sooner, but Katya had wanted to see how long she could play with Violet. She had seen how Violet looked uncomfortable with her staring, and while Violet’s back did worry Katya, she knew she could trust Violet to at least take care of herself and know her own limits. A couple blisters, while uncomfortable to look at and even more uncomfortable to have, were not a serious concern; Katya just didn’t like to see Violet in any sort of pain. 

Violet looked at Katya laughing into her shoulder and proceeded to fall into a giggling fit of her own. ‘ _God, what a dork._ ’ 

– 

When the queens came into the workroom the next day, they all felt apprehension over the thought of an eliminated queen returning.

“And then there were seven. I mean eight.” Violet looked down at the scratches on the worktable. 

“Ugh,” Kennedy groaned. 

“Can we just say that we’ll all ban together and go on strike?” Ginger asked them all. 

“Yes, baby.” 

“We shall not, we shall not do drag,” Ginger sang. 

Pearl sighed before he asked, “So, if someone comes back, who would we want?” 

“I don’t want anyone back.” 

Violet agreed with Ginger. “I’m going be bitter regardless. I’m already bitter. They have not been through everything we’ve been through. Like, that’s not fair.”

Ginger nodded her head. “It’s not fair.” 

“So, who do we think is coming back?” Katya asked. While she also did not want to see an eliminated queen return, she also wanted to know who everyone else suspected would return so she could prepare herself. She got various responses, mainly focused on Trixie, Max, and Kasha, all whom she felt could deserve to come back over the other eliminated queens. ‘ _Why couldn’t they all just stay home?_ ’

“Hello, hello, hello!” Rupaul called out. “Are you decent? ’Cause we’ve got company!” 

All seven of them groaned,“No…”  

“Here we go,” Kennedy mumbled. Violet nodded her head as she glared at Rupaul. For once, she completely agreed with Kennedy. 

“Come on out, company!” From the back door, the queen that entered was…Latrice. They all cheered, even though she was only there for their Tuckahoe Prison Fashion Show mini-challenge. 

After they had completed that challenge and Rupaul declared Kennedy as the winner, Rupaul continued his monologue. “Now, as I promised last week, one of the eliminated queens is returning to the competition. You want to know who?” 

A chorus of “No’s” and “Not really’s” were his only response. 

Rupaul grinned at them with a glint in his eye as he knew something that they did not. “Alright. Ready? Come on out, kitty girl!” Trixie walked in, and the queens applauded. Those that called it applauded a little harder, a little louder at having been right. “Hi, Trixie.” 

Violet rolled her eyes. ‘ _Of course. At least she was my second pick, even though she hates me. Whatever._ ’

Trixie looked at queens in their hastily-made prison garb outfits. “Hi! Look like I’m going to trade some soap for some new makeup, girl.” 

“But, wait a minute. Wait a minute,” Rupaul said just a moment before Tempest, the first eliminated queen, walked in. 

“Oh, my god!” Violet heard Katya say from her right as her own mouth fell open.

“Tempest Dujour, why, you old geezer. Now, I’ve got this sneaky feeling that…” 

“Are you serious?” Violet asked, not expecting a response before the rest of the eliminated queens reentered the workroom. ‘ _Well, there goes the plan to strike._ ’ 

“Oh, my god! Looks like the whole gang is back together again!” The remaining queens stared at Rupaul with various looks of shock on their faces – Ginger chewed on her unlit cigarette, Katya’s mouth hung open, Pearl looked more clueless than normal, and Violet wished she had literal laser eyes. “That’s right. I invited back all of the eliminated queens. Which one gets to stay? Well, that’s up to you.” Violet cocked her head. “For this week’s maxi-challenge, each of you will be paired with an eliminated queen, and you will be in charge of making her over as your twin. As your conjoined twin.” 

“Oh, my god!” 

“Come through, makeover!” 

“Think of it as two queens sharing the same charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talents because the eliminated queen in the winning pair will return to the competition!” Rupaul turned to Kennedy. “Kennedy Davenport, since you won the mini-challenge, you get to pick your twin. Then, you get to pair everybody else up.” Rupaul smirked. 

“Damn,” Violet mumbled only loud enough for Katya to hear. Violet knew Rupaul probably wanted to see how Kennedy would sabotage them all. Katya reached her hand over and briefly rubbed Violet’s lower back, right above where her ass curved out, and Violet’s eyelashes fluttered for a second at the soothing touch. Violet glanced at Katya with ‘Thanks’ in her eyes as Katya pulled away. ‘ _Hopefully, Kennedy doesn’t screw us over._ ’  

Kennedy then picked Jasmine for herself before she paired the rest of them up – Sasha with Ginger, Trixie went to Pearl, Kandy landed with Fame, Katya got Kasha, Violet got Max, and Jaidynn ended up with Tempest. When Max stepped up to Violet, he leaned into her ear and whispered, “We’re gonna kill this shit,” which made Violet grin even harder than when Kennedy picked Max for her, the best option out of the bunch and the one she wanted to stay over anyone else. ‘ _Thank you, Kennedy._ ’ 

“Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win!” 

Once they had all separated to go to various corners of the workroom to figure out their looks, Violet threw her arms around Max. “I’m so happy Kennedy paired us up together,” she mumbled into Max’s neck.

“I know. She was super nice to us. I was surprised.” Max squeezed Violet tighter to him. “I missed you too, Darling.” 

Violet pulled away as she shoved Max’s shoulder. “Shut up, bitch. I did not.” While she rolled her eyes, her mouth could not hide the grin that erupted onto her face. 

“Uh huh.” Max looked down at her.

Violet sighed as she relented. “Okay, maybe a little.” Violet quickly pecked Max’s cheek. “Now, let’s get to work, bitch.” 

Across the room, Kasha and Katya caught up. 

“So, how have you been doing in this competition?”

“Well, I finally won a challenge.” Katya smiled from ear to ear. 

“Really? Congratulations! I knew you had it in you.” Kasha saw Katya’s eyes wander over to Violet. “And what about her?”

Katya’s head whipped to Kasha. “What? Who?” 

Kasha raised an eyebrow as a smirk tugged at her lips. “Violet?” 

“What about her?”

“Are you really going to make me pull it from you? Because you know I will.”

Katya chuckled as she looked down, but not before glancing at Violet and Max embracing. While she knew she shouldn’t have anything to fear or be jealous about, she couldn’t stop the uneasy feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach as she saw the two of them together. They really were beautiful together, and they really seemed to balance one another out, more so than Katya with Violet. 

“It’s…progressing.” 

“Mm hmm.” 

“It is. It’s just,” Katya hesitated as she searched for the right words, “a little slow going. Should we figure out our plan?”

Kasha saw right through Katya’s change in subject, but she allowed it. She could see that something still bothered Katya about Violet, though she couldn’t pin point what, but she agreed that they should focus on their challenge. Kasha would have plenty of time to drag it out of Katya, especially if they won. 

After a brief amount of time had passed, just enough for everyone to catch up a little, Rupaul reentered the workroom and walked straight over to, “Violet and Max.” 

“Hello, Darling.” 

“Hi, Ru.” Violet grinned. 

“Max, you have a chance to get back into the game, so the stakes are very high.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” 

“So, what is your strategy to win?” 

Violet took over the conversation. She was the one still in the competition, so she couldn’t let Max overshadow her, even if she did want Max to be the one who came back. “I just think, you know, taking Max’s style and really amping it up and throwing a little Chachki gaudy, tacky…” 

“So, you’re in the driver’s seat?” 

Violet nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

“Right, because, well, you’re still in the competition, so you’re calling the shots. Where will you be conjoined?” 

“Our strengths are corsetry.” 

“We’re going to be completely hour-glassed together,” Max added as he pulled Violet into his side, which Violet giggled at. 

Katya spun around when she heard Violet giggle and saw that Max had his arm wrapped around Violet’s waist. She gritted her teeth. ‘ _Nothing’s going on with them. Nothing._ ’ 

‘ _You sure about that?_ ’

Katya shoved the voice aside. ‘ _Nothing at all._ ’ Even with the reassurances, the bitter part of Katya that she did her best to keep buried hoped that Max would not get to stay in the competition. 

“Katya!” Rupaul said as he headed over to check on her pairing.

“Hey!” Katya and Kasha chorused. 

“Mrs. Kasha Davis,” Rupaul said as he addressed Kasha.

“Hello, Darling.” 

“This is your big chance to get back in the game. So,” Rupaul clapped his hands together, “what’s your idea?” 

“We’re going to be aging hookers from Atlantic City,” Katya said.

“Aging hookers…”

“Unfortunately, we were born connected at the vaginas,” Kasha explained.

“Ah.” 

Katya held back her grin at Rupaul’s confusion. She knew she and Kasha would work better together this time than he last. This challenge completely inspired her, and Kasha and her were on the same page this time. They had a good chance of winning. 

“But we make do with the other orifices.” 

Rupaul nodded with a practiced straight face. “There’s plenty of other options.” 

Rupaul and Kasha then discussed how the last time Katya and Kasha worked together, she was sent home, throughout the talk, Katya couldn’t help but think, ‘ _If I have to go home, and one of those eliminated whores gets to stay, I will have a wonderful time traveling to their house and burning it to the ground._ ’ She would not go home this week. She refused. 

After Rupaul left, the queens went in on their outfits. They started to sew and glue their everything together; everything in the room turned into organized chaos to an onlooker. How they got through their challenge during the first week, most of them couldn’t even recall. 

Kasha and Katya sat at a table stoning their hooker bras when Violet came over to the sewing machine positioned on their table with some black and red fabric while wearing a simple black corset over a nude colored shirt. Katya cringed at the corset as she remembered Violet’s back from the night before, though she held her tongue when she saw Max also in a black corset, though with no shirt barrier, sitting on the floor working on something.

“Your back okay?”

Violet glanced up at Katya. “Duh,” she said with a small smile playing on her lips.

“You having issues with your back?” Kasha asked.

“Just some blisters. It’s fine though.”

Kasha looked at her with concern evident on her furrowed brows. “You sure?”

“Yes, Mom.” She rolled eyes and then glanced at their bras before putting most of her focus on the sewing machine. “Is this you guys making it sexy or very slutty?” There was a brief silence that made Violet feel a little uncomfortable, unsure over how they took her comment, so she added, “That was a compliment, not a read.” Violet looked at Kasha, “I’m doing this thing now where I tell people that when I compliment them in case there’s confusion.” 

Kasha glanced at Katya out of the corner of her eye before she looked at Violet. “The short period of time since I’ve been gone, you’ve changed the most.” 

“Oh, really? You think so? I think that was sarcasm.” ‘ _I’m trying here. Give me a break._ ’ 

“Nope, in a positive way.” 

“Oh.” ‘ _Really?_ ’ A smile tugged at Violet’s mouth, and she glanced up and met Katya’s beaming face, and the smile that had threatened to break out turned into a full-fledged grin.  

–

The weekend passed in a calm blur for Violet and Katya. They both felt confident enough in their looks at least making them safe and possibly being enough to even get them a much needed win again. Katya had spent a few hours calming down a panicked Ginger who was stressed over having a poorly made outfit and pissed over Sasha not pulling her own weight, but Katya just told her to sell what they had and to make it work. On Monday, Katya and Violet felt confident in turning their partners into their twins. 

Katya sat in front of Kasha as she painted on the base of their look for that day. “So, I’m thinking we go for complete ugly.” 

“Sounds good to me, Darling.” 

As Katya worked on Kasha’s face, she looked into the mirror and met eyes with Violet, who gave her a wink before she went over to work on giving Max a different look that Michelle would hopefully like. Katya grinned. 

“So, you and Violet seem to be in a better place than when I left. Don’t think I forgot about your little sidestep the other day.” 

Katya blushed. “Yeah, it’s, um…” 

“Mm hmm. Just answer me one thing. Is this a crush? Because she is gorgeous, so I’d understand if it was, or is it…?” Kasha trailed off, not needing to verbalize it. 

Katya removed the sponge form Kasha’s face as she stared back as her eyes widened. ‘ _Is it that obvious?_ ’

Kasha grabbed one of Katya’s hands and held it gently in between both of her own. “Does she know?”

“Not yet,” Katya whispered. “Not here, please.” 

Kasha nodded. “Of course, Darling.” She pulled away from Katya. “So, I was thinking for our characters…”

Katya sighed when she realized that Kasha was allowing the subject to drop, at least for the moment. She began to paint Kasha again as they discussed their character’s names and planned on how to best portray their characters on the runway. 

–

When the critiques began, Violet’s heart hammered in her chest. She knew Max deserved to stay. She wanted Max to stay so badly, though based on the praise Pearl and Trixie got, she feared Trixie would be the one to return. 

“Next up, Violet Chachki and her twin, Max.” 

Michelle started to bounce in her seat as she clapped her hands together. “Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!” 

“Yeah? Yeah?” Max nodded his head in time as Violet held her breath. 

“It took Violet to get Max to give me what I wanted!” 

Violet just barely managed to subdue the grin on her face. ‘ _Yes!_ ’ She felt thrilled to know that Michelle loved the art she produced with Max.  

“Honestly, I’m feeling this.” 

‘ _Of course you are. I settle for nothing less than perfection with a look. You should know that by now._ ’

“It’s gorgeous!” 

“But,” Ross began.

‘ _Fuck_.’ Violet held off her eye roll, but only just.  

“I feel like there was a lot of pressure to come out here with something that would make us bust a gut, and you didn’t do that.” 

‘ _No one said we had to be funny, and I’m not a fucking comedy queen. I wanted gaudy sexy._ ’ 

“Next up, Katya and her twin, Mrs. Kasha Davis.” 

“Listen,” Katya said with a smoker’s voice at the cue for her critique to begin, “she’s older than dirt, but I know true talent when I smell it, and she…smells like she just pissed herself.” When the judges laughed with her character, Katya felt relief coarse through her. 

When the chuckles from the judges died down, Michelle said, “Well, I haven’t laughed as hard as I did tonight when you guys came on the runway.” Katya held back the grin as she struggled to stay in character. “I’ve seen these women up at the casino slot machine.”

“The casino, the bingo hall…” Kasha interrupted. 

“Yes!” 

“Sometimes, you’ve got to get ugly to win,” Ross said. 

“Thank you, Katya,” Rupaul said as he ended the critiques. “Thank you, ladies. While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.” 

–

Violet was in a good mood when they left the Main Stage. Michelle loved what they did. She didn’t even know how much she craved validation from Michelle, so she felt amazing, other than the corset rubbing against her blisters and Ross’ criticisms. When she entered the Untucked lounge, she had to sing. “And I’m about to punch somebody in the face.” 

“And they rearranged the furniture, and I don’t know where to go,” Max sang as he continued their unprompted duet. 

“La, la, la, let me get my drink.” 

“Get me the fuck out of this fucking dress right now,” Trixie said as she and Pearl forewent their drinks to get out of their outfit first. 

“Love you, but get the fuck away from me.” 

Max and Violet saw their plan and decided to follow suit. “Oh, my God, get away from me!” 

Once Katya had escaped from Kasha, she lay down on the floor. “Kasha? Can you come and press on my leg?” 

When Violet got herself separated from Max and finally got her drink, she found a spot to sit on the back of the gold coach. 

“Oh, God…Ah…oh…Harder, harder!”

Violet looked over and saw a look of pain and ecstasy on Katya’s grimacing face. Violet smirked. ‘ _Wonder what I’d need to do to get that look in my bed._ ’

“Oh…Pierce Brosnan, oh! Oh! Catherine Zeta Jones!” Violet chuckled as Kasha finished stretching Katya’s legs and back. “Alright, oh, God.” 

When Violet looked away, she saw Max giving her a knowing look. “What?” 

Max raised an eyebrow but remained silent as he sipped from his virgin cocktail.

“Who do we think’s lip-syncing?” Trixie asked. “Whoever it is, good luck to you. It fucking sucks.” 

Ginger raised her hand. “Me.”  

Violet cocked her head to the side. “Why are you not feeling confident? What’s the T? How are you feeling?”  

“Well, I feel like everybody got an equal amount of good and bad, and we just happened to get a pinch more bad than good. I’d also like to say, I didn’t want to see a damn one of you walk through that door.” 

Violet chuckled at Ginger’s brashness. “Me either.” 

“It was pretty obvious on your face,” Tempest said with an annoyed look on his face.

‘ _Seriously?_ ’ “We were gonna strike.” ‘ _Especially if it was you coming back. You haven’t even been here long enough to know how stressful everything’s been._ ’

Ginger nodded her head. For once, she and Violet were on the same page. “We all agreed to strike.” 

“We were gonna strike if anyone came back, and we all comp’t out of that, so you’re welcome.” 

“But then seven of you came in, and it was like, they’re just gonna replace us. I’ve gone through every single week, and I’ve always been in the top. I’ve never been in the bottom.” 

“Ugh.” Violet rolled her eyes, though she did have to give it to Ginger. While Ginger may not have brought the best fashion to runway, she had been dominating all of the acting and comedy challenges, of which there were far too many according to Violet. 

“I just, it does not feel good to be here, but if I’ve got to give up my place for a bitch who went home already, like, in my head, that keeps playing over and over.” 

When Kasha said, “You gave up your place yesterday,” Violet took that awkward cue to turn to her pretty girl group. 

“So, how has the competition been treating all of you?” Trixie asked while the older queens went at each other.

“It’s fucking sucked.” 

Max and Pearl chuckled at Violet before Pearl explained, “You missed a whole butt-load of comedy and acting challenges.” 

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Of fucking course I did.” Trixie’s eyes darted between the three. “So, when did Violet become a more likable bitch?” 

Violet threw her head back and laughed.

“Oh, yeah, you have missed a lot.” Max and Pearl shared a smirk between them. “I bet you haven’t even noticed the looks between…”

Violet snapped her head back up. “No. Stop it. Don’t you dare.” 

“…Katya and our little Violet here.” 

Violet covered her face and eyes with her hands as she felt her face heat up. 

Trixie’s eyes bugged out. “What?” 

“Oh, you missed it, Darling. I don’t even think you noticed it, Pearl, but for last week’s runway, you should have seen…”

“You can stop now.” Violet felt Max’s hand squeeze her knee, though she refused to lower her hands. 

“…Katya lubing Violet up into this latex top.” 

Pearl laughed as he vaguely remembered Katya and Violet disappearing behind the racks and Violet coming out in her latex gear while Trixie’s mouth fell open. 

“I-I’ve clearly missed a lot. So, what is going on with you two?”

Violet took a deep breath before she let her hands fall from her face. “I don’t even really know.” Pearl raised his eyebrow. “Seriously. There are…moments, but then Katya scurries away before we even really get a chance to talk, so, I don’t know.” They sat in silence as they stared at Violet. “Change of subject?” Violet asked with a raised eyebrow. “What was it like for you to come back here, Trixie?”

Trixie nodded as she accepted the change of subject, though she hoped she could stay so she could maybe get some more information out of Katya. “I had to go home to Pearl, and coming back and seeing that she was still competing, I was like, ‘Thank God.’ It would suck to go home and have her go home next, you know what I mean?” 

Violet smiled. “Little do you know, girl.” 

“I went through it when you were gone.” 

“Well, you helped her when you were gone to stay strong because she was like, ‘I don’t want to disappoint Trixie.’ That happened.” 

Trixie patted Pearl’s leg. “You always will.” Pearl doubled over in laughter, and Max and Violet followed suit. “Like I said to Katya, I’ll never overestimate you again.” 

Fame, standing from across the room, heard Katya’s name brought up. She had planned to join the pretty girl group but stopped behind Katya to say, “This bitch is so fucking sickening.” Nearly everyone turned to look at Fame, and Violet smiled as she saw Fame pointing at Katya who had an oblivious and bored, blank look on her face. “Everything that she had done here has been beyond. Like, I’m, like, can I get a piece of that shit? You can never read what’s going on in this bitch ever.” 

Katya furrowed her eyebrows as she turned to look at Fame after she had seen Violet, and everyone else but mostly Violet, smiling at her when Fame went into her tangent. “Me?” She saw the finger pointing at her. “Oh!” 

“What you’re dealing with inside, when she’s fucking on, it’s like magic.” 

“Beauty and fashion!” Trixie shouted. 

“Magic.” 

“Every single week.” 

“Come through!” 

“She works it out.”

“Every single fucking week…” Ginger repeated herself. 

Katya beamed. She could never have expected this. Everyone stared at her like she was a shining star. Katya didn’t even know how to react to the amount of praise heaped upon her. ‘ _Maybe I’m doing something right._ ’ It seemed like she had done a compete one-eighty from last week when she had her meltdown. She really did feel so much better. 

After praising Katya and giving her a quick hug from behind, Fame joined the pretty girls in their little corner. 

“I’ve been watching you across the room, and you’ve had it.” 

“I don’t want to ki-ki over there.” Fame crossed her arms as she got comfortable in her chair. “It’s their show. I’m quiet. What have I said today? What have I said? I worked. I worked fro two days straight, you know what I mean? And I hope and pray that that bitch doesn’t stay here.” 

“Which bitch? Jasmine?” Max asked. 

Pearl shook his head. “Oh, she can’t. That’s not gonna happen.” 

“Bitch, absolutely not.”

Violet rolled her eyes. ‘ _Whatever. If she comes back and not one of my friends, she’ll just be gone next week, so I don’t fucking care. I’m still going to win, so it doesn’t matter._ ’ 

“I can’t wait for all these fucking bitches to go home. Like, you guys, of course I want you to stay, but fuck them, man.” 

Violet smiled at Pearl. ‘ _Yep. This is the group I’d like to see at the end._ ’ She turned to look at Katya. ‘ _Katya goes without saying though._ ’

“It gives me a fucking stomach ache.” 

“It’s why I’m sitting back here, drinking my cocktail.” 

Katya met Violet’s eyes and she smiled and waved at Violet, and Violet smiled back, before Katya headed outside to get a cigarette in while the rest of the queens began to disperse amongst themselves. 

“Oh, my god, have they seriously been like this ever since I left?” 

“No, they’ve just been getting more sickening as the days progress.”

Violet’s mouth dropped open as she turned to face Pearl.

“I think it’s quite adorable.” 

“They are so cute, finding love in such a competitive, cutthroat place.”

“You mean gross.” 

“Oh, my god, shut up, you whore!” Violet cackled as she felt her face heat up. She wished she had something to throw at Pearl.

“Okay, so Violet blushing is pretty dang adorable.” Violet narrowed her eyes at Trixie. “Anyway, how’d this all come about?” 

Violet felt taken aback. “Um, well, I don’t really, um…” 

“Yeah, it did seem to just spring up out of nowhere. When did you start to like Katya, Darling?”

“I don’t even really know. I just…thought she was someone I liked to be around from the beginning.” Violet chewed on her bottom lip. 

“Oh, my god, what if you two were soulmates!” Fame started to bounce in her seat. 

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.” Violet rolled her eyes. ‘ _As if._ ’ 

“No, what if Fame’s right?” 

“If you haven’t noticed,” Violet glanced down at her exposed weird crescent moon-shaped mark just visible underneath her corset, “everyone has already seen my mark, and it’s not like Katya wouldn’t have been able to figure it out, especially after she helped me into my top last week. She’s seen it and said nothing about it. It’s just a silly crush, probably born out of isolation.” 

Max nodded his head as Pearl replied to her. “True. I mean, what reason could someone even have to not reveal their own mark once they found their match?” 

Violet nodded as she sipped her cocktail. 

“Too bad.” Fame sighed. “You two could have made a gorgeous bond.” 

Violet rolled her eyes at Fame. “Whatever you say, idiot,” she said with a small smile. 


	10. Divine Inspiration

The queens walked back into the workroom after Jaidynn’s elimination with Trixie, the eliminated queen that got brought back, and the the air was thick with tension.  

“Girl, I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer,” Ginger said since this was the first time that she had to lip sync for her life. Every week prior, Ginger had been ranked high, but this time, she fell flat on her ass. 

“It’s so weird to see you over there,” Pearl said. 

“I know.” 

Katya, not wanting to dwell on that conversation, turned to Trixie. “Welcome back, Trixie.” 

“Thank you, guys. Thanks, Pearl, for helping me get back.” Trixie attempted a smile.

“Why did you bring that tramp back?” Fame asked, which led to an awkward silence.

Trixie looked around the room as all the queens had various looks of annoyance or uncomfortableness on their faces. “I can feel the sisterhood.” 

“You better bring your A-game,” Pearl said, one of the few less annoyed with Trixie being brought back.

“It’s a war, bitch,” Violet added with a smirk. No returning queen in past seasons had ever lasted longer than an episode, so she felt she had little to worry about. While Trixie was one of the few queens Violet felt a little less pissed over to see return, she still didn’t want her back in the competition.  

Fame had a lot of pent up energy it seemed, and she turned her energy and aggression onto Pearl. “I’m pissed off to be honest with you, and this is not a read on you, but, like, if I walked out there with a dress that I picked off the rack, they would have clocked me for not trying hard enough.” 

Pearl rolled his eyes. “All you can do it chill the fuck out and just do you. It’s working for me.” 

Violet walked away from the argument brewing between the two friends she had actually created some sort of bond with. She wanted no part in their drama, and she really hoped they pulled it together so they could make it to the final four with Katya. At the thought, Violet glanced over at Katya only to see her slip behind the partition. ‘ _Why won’t she change out in the open? She’s got a fit bod; she really should show it off more._ ’ Violet turned back to her own things, and she threw off her feathered boa and took in a deep breath to sigh before she started to cough. 

“I think I swallowed a feather.” 

–

The next day when the girls stood around the Ru-Vision, Violet and Katya gravitated towards each other like magnets. They stood as close as they could without touching. Something unspoken prevented either of them from making a move.

“Good morning, Baltimore. Having female trouble? Well, don’t be a cry baby because all you need to become America’s Next Drag Superstar is hairspray and polyester.” 

Katya eyes widened, and she raised one of her hands to her mouth to cover her smile as Violet’s fingers brushed along her free hand, their first touch of the day. ‘ _Oh, my god, are you fucking serious?_ ’ 

“Oh, and don’t forget to hide your pecker.” 

All the queens chuckled, some understood the references a bit better than others, but Katya couldn’t resist making herself sound like an ignorant idiot. “I love Steven Spielberg!” She had to make the dumb joke, and it was all worth it when Violet doubled over in laughter.

“Hello, hello, hello!” Rupaul said as he walked into the workroom. “Ladies, Y’all went through it during our little reunion last week.” Violet raised her eyebrow as Katya nodded her head. “So, listen, this is a good time to vent, officially.” Violet smirked as she figured out what was coming. “Now, in the great tradition of _Paris is Burning_ , the library is about to be opened, hey! Because reading is what?” 

“Fundamental!” 

The queens then started the traditional Reading Challenge. When Katya was up, her belly coiled from nervous anticipation. She had a decent shot at winning this mini-challenge, though she still felt a little nervous over performing in front of Rupaul. Plus, reading wasn’t exactly her forte; she usually left that to Ginger. She took a deep breath and put on the white sunglasses. 

“Pearl,” she began, a little hesitant, “now that you’ve come out of your shell, maybe you can use that as a butt pad?” She got some light chuckles and the middle finger from Pearl, and she relaxed for minute until she turned to, “Violet Chachki.” Violet raised her eyebrows, and Katya took another deep breath. She had to go for it; she just had to hope that Violet took it all in good humor. “You keep training those corsets, girl, pretty soon your waist size will be lower than your IQ.” 

Violet’s mouth fell open. ‘ _Calling me a ditz, are you? Well, then…_ ’ As Katya and Violet switched places, Violet gave Katya a little wink to let her know that she wasn’t upset over the read because she had noticed the worried look that came over Katya’s face as she made her jibe at Violet and to remind her that what goes around, comes around.  

Violet started her read with Ginger. “Ginger Minj, I disagree with the judges. I think you should bring your black hairspray down further, full coverage.” Violet then turned her focus to the one who always seemed to capture her attention. “Katya.” 

Katya attempted a smile, though she knew she had to look nervous. ‘ _She is not going to let be down easy, is she?_ ’ 

“At this point, you really should just make like your hairline and recede.” 

“Ah!” Katya’s hands immediately went to the top of her head and started trying to brush her hair down, trying to cover her receding hairline. Katya couldn’t help but become self-conscious again over her age. Violet was a decade younger than her with gorgeous flowing locks when they were not greasy and pulled up into a bun, though Katya did find the greasiness charming in its own way; it really showed that Violet was human and had flaws as well. Katya shook herself out of her rambling mind. She had missed most of Violet’s other reads and only came back to Violet’s last read. 

“Trixie Mattel, haute couture, more like haute glue.” 

A burst of laughter erupted from Katya. “That was good, that was good!” Katya was so surprised. ‘ _Violet pulled it off. She really can do anything she puts her mind to._ ’

Other girls went up with some hits and some misses, and then Trixie took the stage. When she put on the glasses, Katya knew should would not hold back; Trixie had far too much to prove. 

“The Devil went down to Georgia... Then she put on a corset and went to Drag Race.” 

Violet smirked as a chuckle escaped her. ‘ _Good one, Trix._ ’ 

“Now, Violet, in all seriousness, I don’t believe the rumors,” Violet raised her eyebrow, “I don’t believe you took Sharon Needles’ crown.” Katya snapped her head over to Violet as Violet’s own eyes bugged out. “I don’t believe you’re taking this one either.”

‘ _Guess you did some googling when you when home, Miss Trixie._ ’ Violet glanced around the room and saw all eyes had landed on her. They all wanted the scandalous story. With a sharp turn of her head and a raised chin, Violet ignored them. ‘ _Well, the vultures can wait until the main challenge is over._ ’

Once they had all finished their reads, Rupaul closed the library and announced the winner. “And the winner is, Trixie Mattel! You’ve won a five hundred dollar gift card from SequinQueen.” 

Violet sighed, thankful that Trixie had no power to possibly sabotage her. “Thank God.” Violet smirked when Katya snorted at Violet’s side and Trixie shot her a glare.

“Now, ladies, this week, we’re paying tribute to the sultan of sleaze, the baron of bad taste, the legendary director John Waters.” Katya grinned so wide, she was surprised her lips didn’t touch her ears. “John worked with one of my idols, the late great Divine, and when these two worked together, they made magic. For this week’s maxi-challenge, you’ll be screen testing the part in a new Ru-sical based on some of John Waters’ most iconic scenes. Hashtag JohnWaters4Ever! So, I’m going to give you a moment to break up into three team. Go ahead.” 

‘ _Seriously? We’re still doing fucking teams? Fucking hell_.’ 

Violet rolled her eyes as she watched Ginger and Trixie run for each other, and when Violet looked at Katya, Kennedy had grabbed her arm and pulled her over to her side. Violet sighed as she looked at Fame and Pearl, the leftovers, and she knew at that moment there was no way their entire team would survive that week. One of them would likely be going home. Even though she knew that in her core being, Violet still mustered up a smile and hugged her two friends close.  

“Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.”

Katya felt a little bad about not having grabbed Violet, but she knew that she would do better with a comedy related challenge being paired with Kennedy. This was a competition, and Violet wouldn’t begrudge Katya for wanting to do her best. Violet knew what it took to compete to win, and if they were supposedly perfect for one another, then they’d both understand she the other needed to be selfish, even if it sent pangs to Katya’s chest.

When she sat down with Kennedy, Katya asked, “Can I be Dawn?” If she wasn’t going to be paired with Violet, she needed to at least do her best and prove why she was better off with Kennedy, and Dawn was a bigger part, so she could see opportunities to just go over the top with the role.

“You know Dawn is singing. You can sing, right?” 

Katya chuckled. “No, but aren’t they all singing?” 

Though Kennedy seemed hesitant with Katya’s decision, she allowed Katya to have the part. When Katya listened to the track though, she knew she had made the wrong choice, and they quickly switched roles. 

Over with Violet’s trio, Violet’s muscles became tighter and tighter as Fame and Pearl snapped at each other over the most inconsequential things when they really just needed to focus on the basics of their script first. ‘ _Even if ‘Poo’ is the most basic thing ever._ ’ After she had read the script, Violet felt any confidence she might have had over them pulling this challenge off disappear. She would make sure to keep her face sure of itself, but the song sucked ass, and Violet was not into scat play.  

“I’m trying to understand your character because you’re playing the angel, but you’re playing a devilish angel.” 

“Huh?” 

“Because you’re hovering on her shoulder and coming like this.” 

“There’s one part where I do that, and that’s it.” 

“Whatever,” Violet interrupted their spat before it got out of hand, “let’s just run through it. That’s like a minor detail.” 

Fame sighed. “Alright.” 

Violet started to sing, to the best of her abilities, “Every night at dinner, when dinner would begin, my mom would say…” 

“Stop.” Fame interrupted. 

Violet just barely held back an eye roll. ‘ _I love her, she’s a great friend, and we need to all stay calm to get through this fucking day._ ’ 

“You know I was worried,” Violet fidgeted, “Violet, stop there, because I feel like our voices sound the same. It sounds like we’re doing the same voice impersonation.” 

“Why don’t you just be lower and grumblier and grosser?” Pearl asked in his monotonous voice. 

“That’s not funny. Deeper is not funny.” 

‘ _This is going to be a long, crappy – no pun intended – day._ ’ 

Rupaul came back inside to check on the groups, and after he finished his brief conversations with all of them, he called them all over. “Tomorrow, on the Main Stage, the category is: ugliest dress ever.” 

The queens laughed, and Katya could not be more excited for this week if she tried. ‘ _John Waters and ugliest dress? This week is like perfectly catered to me_.’ 

“So good luck, and by all means, fuck it up.” 

Violet laughed. “Yas!” While she didn’t pack anything herself for that particular look – she didn’t own anything ugly unlike some of these girls – she knew she could whip something fabulous up. Violet wandered over to the fabric wall and felt drawn immediately to the rainbow fabric that had yet to be used by anyone for any of the previous challenges. ‘ _Perfect_.’ She left it where it was as she left to prepare her Divine look for their screen-test. 

– 

The next day, the queens returned to the workroom, and ready or not, they had to get into their ugliest dress and see the footage of their screen-tests. 

“Yay…”  Violet said as she made a beeline to the fabric wall and yanked out the rainbow fabric. She had already come up with a silhouette and a sketch at the hotel, so she was ready to whip up an outfit that she would probably throw away as soon as she could get it off again. 

Ginger, Katya, Trixie, and Kennedy, all fairly confident in their performances, gathered around a table to chat for a few minutes before they got dressed. They all knew how long it would take for them to uglify themselves so they didn’t feel a rush to get dressed while Fame and Pearl made their own way to the vanities to leisurely apply their own makeup and bicker over makeup techniques.  

“Ugliest dress, it’s finally my week,” Trixie joked.

Ginger looked over to Katya. “How did you choose your ugliest dress? I mean, did you just go,” Ginger closed her eyes as she pretended to blindly reach out for a dress in an invisible closet, “and pull it off the rack?” 

Katya ‘s head hit the table as she bent over and howled from laughter.

Ginger grinned and then pulled Trixie into a side hug. “Are you feeling good about it?” 

“I’m feeling really good.” Trixie’s mouth quirked into a half-smile.

“You shouldn’t trust that feeling,” Katya said, once she had gained control of her laughter and was able to put on a straight face again. 

“I’ve already lip synced once,” Trixie said as she forced her voice to break and turned her lips into a pout, “like, give me a break, I don’t want to do it again.” 

Katya chuckled, and she left that little group to its own devices as she made her way over to Violet to see what she was up to at the sewing machine, though not without a ribbing from Ginger, “Leaving us for your girl, I see how it is,” and which Katya thought she replied to very maturely…by sticking her tongue out at them. 

“So,” Katya looked down at Violet who was hunched over the sewing machine as she stitched hideous rainbow fabric together, “how’d your group perform yesterday?”

Violet rolled her eyes up to glance at Katya before they refocused on her dress. She only had a short amount of time to get it gone. “We sucked. Completely, absolutely, and totally. And not even the god kind of suck you can get in the bathroom at a sleazy bar.” 

“Ah! You whore!” Katya bent over and cackled, and when she straightened back up, she rested her hand on Violet’s back. “That bad though, huh?”

Violet nodded. Her eyes never left the fabric though her back relaxed at Katya’s touch. While the knots in her muscles remained present, they became less noticeable to Violet. “Mm hmm. And I don’t even have anything to wear today yet either.”

“So that’s what you’re doing.” Katya raised her eyebrows. “Why didn’t you bring anything ugly? It was on the list, and I thought you had prepared for every runway.”

Violet smirked at the compliment. “Of course I did, except this one. Really, not everyone can be like you and have dozens of ugly clothes in their closet. I only own pretty things.”

“Ah! You bitch.” Katya ran her hand up and down Violet’s back. “So you’re just going to make one, in, like, less than an hour?” 

“Easy. Bet I can make it uglier than you, you idiot.” 

“Is that a challenge?” 

Violet paused and turned to face Katya for a moment. She raised an eyebrow. “What do I get when I win?” 

Katya shook her head. “You’re on, bitch. I’d like a nice foot massage.” 

Violet smirked as she turned back to her dress. “Makes sense.”

“Huh?” Katya cocked her head to the side.

“You did seem rather fascinated by my feet the other day. It just makes sense that you’d want to massage them.”

Katya chuckled as she shook her head once again. “Winner chosen based off of judges critiques?” Even though her eyes did not leave the fabric again, Violet nodded her head. “Well, you’ve got a long way to go to get as ugly as me, so I’ll leave you to it.” After a pat on the back, Katya left Violet to her own devices so she could work on her wig. Katya knew her porno musical version of Raggedy Ann would almost definitely be crowned the winner of this runway challenge, though she looked forward in seeing exactly what Violet came up with in terms of ugly. 

Once Violet finished making a quick and ugly clown-inspired dress, she joined Pearl and Fame at the vanity to start on her makeup, and then Trixie’s read on her got brought up. Ginger glanced at Violet from her own mirror before she turned to Trixie. 

“So, Trixie, what exactly did you mean with your read? You know, the one about Violet stealing Sharon’s crown?”

‘ _Really, bitch?_ ’ 

Trixie smirked. “Oh, it’s just that when I went home, I did some googling on all you guys. You know how curiosity is. And when I googled Miss Violet here, there were all these articles over Violet stealing Sharon’s crown.”

“So, just articles?” 

“Nope,” Trixie said as she popped the P. “Also pictures of Violet naked with the crown on her head.”

“Ooh, girl!” 

Violet rolled her eyes as Fame turned shocked eyes to Violet. “Why did you steal Sharon’s crown?” 

“I didn’t.” Violet sighed as she worked on her contours. 

“So, what’s the story?” Pearl asked.

Violet could feel how everyone in the workroom focused on her, queens and cameramen alike. After a roll of her eyes, Violet decided to just tell them as she continued to work on her makeup. “There’s really not much story to tell. She did a show in Atlanta right after she won Drag Race, and I was working at the same show – with my fake ID of course. My friend, who’s a photographer, took her crown as a joke. He showed it to me and asked if I’d be interested in doing a photoshoot with them. I said yes. We took some tasteful nude photos with it, and then I don’t know what he did with it after that, but it eventually got back to Sharon. It then turned into this whole big scandal, and I’m pretty sure Sharon wasn’t even aware it had been stolen in the first place until she got it back because she was so fucked up that night, so it really was no big deal, but you know how gossip spreads. So, yeah, there are photos of me wearing Sharon Needles’ stolen crown, naked and looking gorgeous I might add, from two or three years ago when I was still a baby queen.” Violet took a moment to breathe. “What I’m more interested in, though, is that I, like, cannot get over the fact that John Waters is going to be here. Him and Divine are such legends, it’s, like, it’s crazy.” 

Just as Violet had hoped, the conversation shifted from her non-scandal scandal and onto the highly praised filmmaker for the rest of the time they spent getting ready for their runway. 

–

Out on the runway, when they saw the performances, “Poo” was just shitty as Violet predicted. However, she was extremely proud of how well Katya did with her role, and she was beyond impressed with Ginger’s spot on impression during her own number. When the critiques began, though, Violet could help but chew on the inside of her cheeks. 

“Next up, Katya.” 

Katya held her breath as John Waters made his critique. “You went beyond playing the mother and went to a newer layer of filth. You did a beautiful obscenity there, so I wanted to congratulate you on that.” She let out a giant breath at John Waters praise.

“It’s all really ugly, so well done,” Michelle said as she looked at Katya’s Raggedy Ann. 

‘ _I’ve got this bet in the bag._ ’ Katya smirked.

John Waters, however disagreed. “But I think the hippest girl in Brooklyn would wear that dress today.” 

‘ _Fuck_.’ Katya glanced at Violet. ‘ _Though, I guess I wouldn’t be too terribly upset to losing to Violet. Maybe she had a point after all. Just so long as she bathes them first, because I am not dealing with callused and sweaty feet._ ’

“Next up, Violet Chachki.” 

Violet swallowed back bile that had threatened to come up from her nervous stomach. 

“On your runway look,” Carson said as be began her critique, “more than anybody on this stage, you nailed this challenge because you’re giving us ugly.” 

Violet smirked, thankful for something positive. “It’s a talent.” ‘ _Looks like I’m going to get a nice foot massage, eh, Katya?_ ’ 

Michelle then started to speak, and Violet held her breath. “I loved how you posed in it; it was like Lucille Ball when she wore the potato sack, that moment of ‘I’m fabulous!’” Violet smiled, though it was short lived. “Now, onto your performance as Divine.” Her smile dropped from her face. “Out of the group, you looked the most authentic, but I didn’t quite understand the padding. Like, I felt if you were going to go full Divine with it, then go full Divine.” 

“I thought the performance was a little bit flat for me just because it seemed like you didn’t have the confidence with the material.” 

Violet nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as harsh as she thought it would be. She still looked forward to getting into the Untucked studio to relax.

“Alright, ladies, at this point in the competition, I have to ask the question. Who deserves to go home and why?” 

‘ _Fuck_.’

Kennedy was up first. “I would have to say Fame because clearly the struggle is real.” 

While she loved Fame, Katya agreed with Kennedy. “I would probably say Fame because she’s been in the bottom consistently over the past three or so weeks.” She cringed the entire time she had to speak.

As everyone said Fame, Violet could see out of the corner of her eye how Fame gritted her teeth, how she blinked back tears, and while she knew Fame hadn’t been living up to the rest of the queens performance wise, she knew she couldn’t throw her friend under the bus. Not like the rest of them. When Violet had to speak, she would not name Fame.

“You know, Trixie got to come back in this competition, and she should be looked at with a magnifying lens, so, I just feel it should be Trixie.” 

When Violet saw Fame relax for a second before she had to speak, Violet hoped that they could put this behind them and let it go during Untucked. Everyone just did what was asked of them, and they couldn’t let what others said get to them. 

“Fuck all these bitches. Truth be told, there’s this part of Pearl that’s been too cool for season seven, and that frustrates me, and she knows what I’m talking about.” 

“I don’t know what she’s talking about. I don’t think I’m too cool for Season Seven at all.” 

‘ _Shit_.’

–

As they walked into the Untucked lounge, Katya felt like they could cut the tension in the room with a knife. 

“This is going to drive a bitch to drink,” Fame muttered as she made herself at home on the couch. 

“I’ll sit by you even though I’m mad at you.” 

Violet remained quiet as her eyes darted between two of her closet friends in the competition. Violet felt a little queazy as she remembered how the Main Stage went, how uncomfortable it made her feel to name someone to send home. When they all brought up and bickered over what got said, Violet couldn’t handle it. She stood up and signaled the staff that she needed to use the restroom, and she left the room.

Katya’s eyes trailed after Violet, and while she wanted to follow, she figured that this was one of those moments when Violet needed her space. She didn’t know how she knew, but she felt it in her gut.

“Katya,” Kennedy’s voice broke Katya out of her pensive thoughts, “you look like Chaka Khan, bitch.” 

Ginger laughed before she protested, “No, girl, she’s giving me Cowardly Lion with an identity crisis. Do it.” 

Katya laughed before she put on a performance to lighten the mood of the room. She whined, and whimpered, and she fell to the ground as she acted out the part Ginger had given to her. Fame and Pearl had more relaxed looks on their faces; Pearl even smiled as he shook his head at her. She wished Violet was here though; she loved to make Violet smile and laugh.

“And she’s been clean and sober for a year and a half,” Pearl drawled. 

“She’s so stupid.” Ginger laughed. 

“This is the face of sobriety. You may be sober, but I can tell by the self that you still hate yourself.” 

Katya cracked up as she fell out of character, and she returned to her seat on the couch. 

“Watch this bitch win this whole thing.” 

‘ _Wait, what?_ ’ Katya’s smile became frozen for a second before she found her quick humor again. “I’m coming from behind. I’m coming from behind. I’m coming from the backdoor.” 

“Aren’t you always coming from behind?” Trixie asked. 

“Maybe Violet’s backdoor.” Ginger murmured, though loud enough for everyone to hear, and everyone cackled. After the laughter trickled off, Ginger raised her voice. “But you know what? I wouldn’t be mad,” she said as she went back to the conversation about Katya winning the whole thing. “That bitch has entertained me every single time.” 

“I wouldn’t be mad, are you fucking kidding me?” 

Katya smiled before she turned contemplated and looked at her knees. “Everything that I thought this competition would be, it hasn’t been, and everything that I thought I would feel about it, I haven’t felt. It’s just been, everything’s been different. I don’t know.” ‘Like Violet.’ At the thought, Katya looked up and saw Violet returning to their group, a little more relaxed, though a little green as well. 

When Violet sat down next to Pearl, still looking emotionally drained while the rest of them looked a little more relaxed, Katya had to do something, so Katya let Violet know that she won their little side bet. “Your thing is truly disgusting.” 

Violet smirked, though it seemed half-hearted at best. “Well, it took me, like, a billion, I was like, how can I make this uglier?”  

“You look like a fucking drunk lesbian at a gay pride parade.” 

Violet chuckled and nodded her head in thanks, and Katya felt her heart soar. 

“How about Pearl looks like me this week, and the first thing Michelle says is, ‘Bitch, the makeup.’” They all chuckled a little, and then Trixie cleared her throat and turned serious. “Who do you think it is? Be real.” 

Ginger sipped her drink before she replied since everyone else remained silent. No one really wanted to say anything to dampen the mood again. “In the bottom?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s either me,” Fame swallowed, “it’s someone in our group.” 

Ginger looked at the three of them. “I want to say it’s Fame and Pearl.” 

“It’s probably gonna be me because we’ve been friends,” Pearl said as he agreed with Ginger’s assessment.  

“’Cause you like to send friends home.” 

Violet felt part of her relax, though she still knew she had a good chance of still going up to lip sync. She had practiced the song for hours in her hotel room, though, so she didn’t feel a need to go over it again and again during Untucked. If she didn’t know it by now, she wouldn’t in an hour, but she did feel ready if she had to. Plus, she knew she could outperform both Pearl and Fame, and even though she didn’t want to see either of them leave, she would not go down without a fight.  

“So,” Fame continued, “if we have to go up and lip sync against each other, whoever it may be…” 

Katya saw Ginger get up and signal for their smoke break. She nodded and stood up from her seat.

Violet smirked. “Bye.” 

“Fucking bitch.”

Violet laughed. She had intended it to be directed at Katya, but the shade of it all after Fame’s comment really worked out well for her.

Katya chuckled at Violet as she walked around the couch as she headed out. “I love you.” 

The room became silent. Katya froze, and she turned wide eyes to meet Violet’s own wide eyes. ‘ _Did I just say that out loud? Fuck._ ’ 

Violet blinked up at Katya while the rest of the girls remained silent as they watched them stare at each other. After seeing how freaked Katya looked, Violet smiled and turned her attention to focus back on Fame and Pearl. ‘ _If she’s that freaked by it, then I’m not going to put pressure on her to explain. She’ll tell me again sometime. I hope._ ’ 

“I don’t know who it’s going to be.” 

Pearl smirked as he watched Violet avoid mentioning the incident between Katya and herself as Katya hurried out the door to join Ginger, but he would go along with it for now. He’d tease them about it later. “It’s gonna be me and you. Like, ‘Miss Fame, you’re fine.’” 

Fame had tears in her eyes, both from knowing that she would more than likely have to lip sync for her life and even more so at seeing the love between Katya and Violet. She just wished that could stay longer to watch their love unfold and blossom. “I’m so glad I got to connect with you both.” 

Violet smiled. “Samesies.” 

“Have we?” Pearl asked with a snarky grin. 

“Yeah, you guys are fucking awful,” Trixie said.

“I think so,” Violet said as she replied to Pearl, ignoring Trixie. Violet sighed as she sunk into Pearl’s comfortable and unpadded side, though Pearl was nowhere near as comforting as Katya. “Ugh. I just, I feel like I’m on laughing, I’m like woozy. I feel like I could collapse.” Violet groaned. “I’m not even corseted.”

Trixie laughed. “This is your first challenge not fucking corseted?” 

“I’m fucking cinched and padded underneath this and my balls hurt.” 

“Well, hooray for you, bitch.”  

Pearl smirked at the opening Violet had given him. “So, if you’re not woozy from a too-tight corset, then why are you woozy? Could it possibly have something to do with a certain person and what that certain person just said.” 

Violet shoved Pearl in his side. “Shut up, bitch.” 

“Ooh, looks like I’m right.”

“Fuck you too, bitch.” Violet got up and moved to sit next to Fame and cuddle into her side and her oversized dress. “Why don’t you go harass that certain person instead?”

Pearl smirked. “Sounds like fun.” With that, Pearl got up, gave a quick salute, grabbed his own cigarettes, and left the building.

“Do you want to talk about–”

“No.” Violet burrowed her way into the folds of Fame’s gown, ceasing the conversation. She was tired and just wanted to rest before the elimination. 

–

“Pearl, your dress was not a sight for sore eyes, and your Divine performance was a little BM – barely memorable. Violet Chachki, your ugly dress made us happy, but your Divine performance was kinda crappy. Miss Fame, your ugly dress had too much beauty, and your Divine performance was a real doody. Violet Chachki…you’re safe.” 

“Pearl, shantay you stay.” 

“Miss Fame, your fifteen minutes with us may be up, but your legend will live forever. Now, sashay away.”

As Miss Fame walked away, Violet’s heart broke. She really didn’t think she could handle it if she had to see Pearl or Katya get eliminated as well in the coming days. 


	11. Prancing Queens

“Continue to inspire. You’re incredible. Fame.” 

When Pearl read Fame’s message on the mirror aloud, Violet’s heart ached. “Ugh, I’m gonna miss her so much.” ‘ _It sucks so much that she’s gone._ ’ Violet perched herself on top of the table as Pearl wiped away Fame’s message. “It really was such a close call though. It feels like I really could have been lip syncing.” Violet saw Kennedy and Ginger roll their eyes at her. She clenched her jaw before she continued. “Even if it fucking kills me, though, I’m gonna come up on top at the next challenge.” 

No one could deny the passion in Violet’s eyes, but when Katya looked at her, she didn’t know how much longer Violet’s passion could carry her. There had been so many comedic challenges that their season really seemed catered against someone like Fame, Pearl, or Violet. ‘ _She really has got to bring something new, because I really don’t want to see her go like Fame. I can’t see her go. Not without her…_ ’ Katya broke her thought off. No, she couldn’t waver on her plan. She wouldn’t.  

As they broke apart to undress, Katya ran her hand down Violet’s back before she left to change behind the partition. Katya missed the half smile Violet gave her in thanks and the eyes that followed her until she disappeared.

Violet really wished she could see Katya’s body again. The only time she had ever seen it was during that first challenge, and Katya looked gorgeous in the red accents with her firm body.  

The next day, when they entered and went to their sections of the workroom, the queens all discovered that Fame had left them notes. Violet felt bittersweet when she read Fame’s note to her. She missed her so much already, but the gesture was so sweet that Violet couldn’t help but smile from it.

Once they had all gathered around the table, Violet smiled as she broached the question, “What do y’all’s notes say?” 

Katya smiled at Violet’s joy over Fame proving herself to be just as sweet as Violet had said the night before. Katya looked down at her note and read, “‘Stay strong, girl, you are so talented.’” ‘ _She really was such a sweetheart._ ’

“What does yours say, Pearl?”  

“‘Pearl, I love you. See you in New York City.’” Pearl then raised his eyebrow to Violet to silently ask her the same.

Violet grinned as she looked down at her own note. “‘Violet, you are perfect.’” 

“It’s so real,” Trixie said with sarcasm dripping from her mouth.

“You know what’s real? The struggle.” 

Violet rolled her eyes. ‘ _Whatever_.’

“Hello, hello, hello!” Rupaul said as he entered the workroom, as usual, right before he announced their mini-challenge, The Fake Housewives of Rupaul’s Drag Race. The girls grabbed the scotch tape and ran for the mirrors, and after taping their faces into grotesque shapes, Rupaul graded their attempts at cheap plastic surgery. “The winner of this week’s mini-challenge is…Violet Chachki.”

‘ _About time._ ’ Violet smirked, or, she tried to underneath all the tape, though she still did not have nearly as much tape as Katya.  

“Now, are you ladies ready for more?” 

“Yes’s” came from the queens while Katya shook her head, half in jest, half in panic and exhaustion.

“For this week’s maxi-challenge, you’re going to need to prance your padded asses off. In pairs, you’ll dance to mashups like the tango-vogue, the Charleston-twerk, and the country-robot.”

Katya felt a little excitement roll through her. While she wasn’t a dancer, per se, she did have rhythm and could feasibly pull this challenge off with the right partner. 

“And there’s just one more little detail. For the first time in Drag Race herstory, you’ll be decked out in half-man and half-queen drag. Think Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde Your Kids.”

‘ _How? This is going to be stupid._ ’ Katya’ eyes widened.

‘ _Yes! Perfect! Fuck those gender lines!_ ’ Violet mentally fist pumped. The look part of the challenge was beyond perfect for her. 

“Violet, you won the mini-challenge, so you get to assign the couples. First, pick your dance partner.” 

“Katya.” Violet spoke without even needing to think about it. Ginger and Pearl were out because neither of them could dance, and she really didn’t have a good relationship with Kennedy or Trixie, so from a competitive standpoint, that left Katya. From a personal standpoint, however, well, Violet didn’t need to admit to a thing. She did look forward to getting to spend a lot of time with just Katya though, working, of course. 

Nerves ran through Katya. This would be the first time she would work with Violet in an intimate way. Katya would have no one to hide behind, and no one else could distract Violet from her. ‘ _What if she finds out? No, fuck, no. She’s not going to. It’ll all be fine. Just fine._ ’ 

“How about the other queens?” Rupaul asked once Katya made her way over to Violet.

“Well, they’re already paired off. I’m gonna do Ginger and Trixie.” 

“And you’re pairing Kennedy with Pearl,” Rupaul finished for her. Rupaul then smiled at all of the girls. “Gentlemen start your engines, and may the best half-woman win.”

Once Rupaul left and they all had removed their tape, Katya and Violet made their way over to the benches. While Violet felt excited to have the chance at working with Katya alone, Katya’s own nerves started to rear its ugly head again. When Katya sat down, she made sure to tug her shirt down. She felt exposed, somehow, and she needed to make sure that her mark was covered, that Violet didn’t see it. 

“So, you ready?” Violet grinned at her as she untangled their mp3 player with their music. 

“I-I don’t know. Do you know how to tango?” 

Violet ginned as she shook her head, her loose hair flying around her head. “No.” Violet handed Katya one headphone as she brushed her hair behind her ear to put the other in. She pressed play, and her head bobbed along to the beat. “It’s, like, Spanish.” 

Katya stared at Violet who looked very focused on the music. “You know, when I made the read about your waist size finally being lower than your IQ, I thought that was supposed to be a joke, but–”

“Oh, shut up, you whore!” Violet laughed as she tossed her headphone at Katya, and chuckles bubbled up out of Katya as she finally relaxed. Violet then jumped up and grabbed Katya’s hands, and she pulled her up as well. “Do you know any tango moves?” Violet asked once she got Katya standing. 

Katya dropped the mp3 player onto the bench when Violet had yanked her up. “Nothing more than what’s been seen on TV. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever learned any actual moves or anything–” 

“Don’t they do dips and shit?” 

Katya stared at Violet as she tried to figure out her angle. “I guess…”

A grin took over Violet’s face. “Then I think we should practice.” 

With that, Katya somehow ended up with her arms wrapped around Violet as she dipped her back. Katya knew she must have a terrified look on her face; she had no idea how she ended up in such a predicament, and she had no idea how she would make it through the challenge with any sanity still intact if Violet behave this way the entire time. 

As Violet looked at Katya, she saw Katya’s wide, petrified eyes as they attempted to dance. ‘ _Does she think that I’m going to be a sucky partner or something, or maybe she doesn’t actually like me like I thought. I mean, we’ve never even worked together outside of a couple giant groups challenges at the beginning._ ’ Violet shook her head. ‘ _No, stop it, Chachki. you’re flawless and, as Fame said, perfect. She does like me; I’m sure of that, and as for being worried about this challenge, well, I’ll just have to show her that we can win this thing together because we are both fabulous._ ’ 

Before Violet could say anything though, Rupaul entered the room. “Hello, hello, hello! How are my prancing queens?” Rupaul walked up to Violet and Katya. “Hey, ladies.” 

“Hi, Ru,” Violet and Katya answered in sync.

“Now, Violet, do you dance at all?” 

“Um, actually, I’m an aerial performer.” A smile played on Violet’s lips. ‘ _Would have been awesome if I could have showcased that though._ ’

‘ _Wait, what?_ ’ 

Violet saw Katya’s double take and smirked. ‘ _Yeah, I’m not the only one flexible._ ’ Lost in her thoughts, Violet nearly missed Rupaul’s next question. 

“Now, if I remember correctly, in the last challenge, you had a little problem with rhythm and timing.”

Violet grimaced a little as she remembered that horrible “Poo” number she hoped she could forget soon. “I did.” 

“How are you going to work through that in this challenge?” 

“Um, just own it, work through, I’m going to turn it out.” 

Katya’s eyes darted between Violet and Rupaul. ‘ _Really? That’s your answer? Please, Vi, have something else._ ’ 

“You know, those are famous last words around here.” 

“Well, I already said them once,” Violet shrugged her shoulders, “and I’m still here.” 

Rupaul chuckled. “Yeah, well, okay, alright.” 

Katya could not believe how Violet just got away with sassing Rupaul, and she somehow still made Rupaul laugh while Katya nearly always felt her heart race whenever Rupaul asked her something.

‘ _Maybe because Violet is simply better than you._ ’ 

Katya jerked her head at the voice as she shut it back down. Luckily, neither Violet nor Rupaul saw her movement. 

Once Rupaul left them, Katya and Violet collected their half man dance suits that they had to half drag up while Pearl and Kennedy took to the stage to learn their choreography. Violet shook her half-a-suit out as silhouettes ran through her head until only one remained. She pictured how she would look next to Katya, and when she realized that she’d have no idea what Katya planned to do with her girl half, Violet knew that she had to remedy that.  

“So, I’m thinking we need to coordinate.”

“Wha’? Why?”

Violet raised her eyebrow. “We need all the advantage we can get. There’s only six of us left, and while we’re going to need to work our asses off on the choreo, we should also look the part and look the part together. It can only help the overall effect of our performance.” 

Katya nodded. “That makes sense. What did you have in mind?” Katya would later almost regret asking that – almost only because Violet looked so adorable when she got passionate about something, usually fashion. 

Violet dragged Katya by the hand over to the fabric wall and pulled out the shimmery red fabric that, while it had been used before, by her even, the material screamed tango more than anything else available. “So, I’m definitely thinking that we both need to use this for our dress side. And I’m thinking bow-ties. Maybe not the same color, though, because we don’t want to be too matchy-matchy.” Violet yanked the material out and motioned for Katya to cut enough out for the two of them. “You could have a nice classic black one, and I’ll go ahead and have red so they’ll be complementary to each other. I also think that for our hair, we need to each have a red flower somehow incorporated. It’ll really give it a Spanish flair.” 

As Violet rambled over the details of how she wanted them to look together, Katya couldn’t help but get lost in her imagination. She could just picture Violet taking over designing their future home, choosing the paint colors, the furniture, the art and knick knacks. She imagined how Violet would make lists over names for their future dog that they would adopt, and how Violet would indulgently add Katya’s oddball suggestions to the list. Most of all though, Katya could almost see how Violet would take over the planning for their wedding because she’d have to have everything perfect, and everything would be sure to be gorgeous.

“Hey.” Violet snapped her fingers in front of Katya’s face. “You still with me?” 

“Oh, yeah, just got lost in thought.”

Violet raised her eyebrow. “Well, don’t. You can get lost in thought once we murder this challenge. Remember, I did say that I was going to come out on top even if it kills me.” 

Katya gulped. “Hopefully not me as well?”

Violet smirked, though she didn’t respond to Katya’s question. “So, what do you think of my ideas?”

“Did I even have a choice?” Violet opened her mouth to respond, but Katya quickly continued. “But seriously, it’s amazing. You’re amazing.” Katya watched as a blush rose over Violet’s cheeks. 

Before Violet could respond, however, they got called in for their own rehearsal. They left their material on their table and left for the stage. They could do this.

The rehearsal was a lot harder than either of them thought it would be though. 

Ambrose, the voguing expert, taught them a fast-paced voguing section. “1, 2, 3, 4, flip up 5, 6, touch your cheekbones 7, 8, sharp to the front on 1.” Katya watched as Ambrose went over Violet’s moves as she kneeled on the ground. Katya was petrified of what her own moves during that section would entail.  

“Totally.” Violet made sure to answer with a confident face because she would get the damn routine down perfectly. She would; there were no other options. 

“Try it. In four counts, a 5, 6, 7, 8!” 

Violet slammed her knee into the floor as she did the counts with Ambrose calling out the individual moves. 

“3, 4, 5, 6, Madonna, 7, 8, and 1.”

Violet could already tell after just a couple of run-throughs of just that vogueing part that her knee would be fucked by the time they performed the entire dance for the judges. ‘ _Just going to have to buck up and power through it._ ’ While Ambrose taught Katya her own voguing parts, Violet blocked out her own part and practiced all the arm and hand movements. 

Once they learned the vogueing section, Kym Johnson, the lead choreographer, taught them the tango part of the dance, which included a lift. Kym told them how she wanted Katya to hold Violet up as Violet kicked her long legs into the air, and when they tried it, Violet couldn’t keep the surprise off of her face at how easy Katya made it seem to lift her. 

Katya saw Violet’s surprised face, and she couldn’t help but giggle as she gave Violet an exaggerated wink, which then caused Violet to dissolve into giggles herself. “What? You thought I’d drop you?” 

“Well, no.” Violet grinned as she got her giggling under control. “I just…”

“I’d never drop you, Princess.” 

Before Violet could retort, Kym interrupted them. “You two can flirt some other time. Now, let’s get back to work.”

After they had been taught the basic steps, Kym shouted out instructions as they attempted to get through the vigorous routine. “Fast, fast! Turn! Get down! Come up, come up! Face, face, face!” 

‘ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_.’

“Turn, up! Madonna!” 

“Katya,” Carson said once they made it through a really rough run-through, “is that terror or confusion on your face?” 

“It’s a little bit of both.” Katya let out a nervous chuckle. Her boost of confidence at being able to easily lift Violet seemed to drain from her as they went over the routine again and again. ‘ _I could get it if I have about three to four months, but a day? Shit._ ’

Eventually, aching, they were dismissed from their choreography lesson. 

“Ugh…” Katya collapsed onto the table. She already knew she would be feeling the aches and pains in her muscles for days to come. 

“Up, bitch.” Violet pulled Katya’s hair and made her sit up if she didn’t want any follicles removed. 

“Five more minutes.” Katya gave her best impression of puppy dog eyes that she could, and she saw that Violet failed to hold back a smile at her display.

“Up,” Violet repeated herself. “We’ve got to finish our outfits, and then we need to practice the damn choreo until our feet bleed.” Violet moved her hand from Katya’s hair to her shirt and pulled Katya to their table. 

“Fine. Work me to the bone, why don’t you?” Katya draped her arm around Violet’s shoulders and leaned most of her weight into Violet.

“Ugh, walk on your own, bitch!” While those words may have come out of her mouth, Violet’s arm wound itself around Katya’s waist and just pulled her closer. 

–

The next day, Katya and Violet ached everywhere. When Violet had taken her dancing shoes off after they rehearsed, and rehearsed, and rehearsed after they finished making their dresses for the challenge, she had seen that blood congealed on her toes from being rubbed raw, and her knee, as predicted, was beyond fucked up. Katya herself had broken blisters on her heels that stung in the short shower she took in her hotel room, and her arms felt like lead weights from all the times she had to lift Violet the evening before. By the time they both reentered the workroom the next morning, Katya could only burrow into Violet’s chest. She just needed a minute. Luckily, her exhausted body let her sleep for a couple of hours after she practiced on her own for hours in her hotel room, their routine and the lip sync song because she had no idea how well they would perform compared to the rest. 

Violet wrapped her arms around Katya. “I’m exhausted.” Katya pulled back, though her arms remained on Violet’s narrow waist while Violet’s own hands rested on Katya’s shoulders. “I thought this was going to be some cha-cha shit, but this is like legit ass choreo.” Violet’s fingers played against Katya’s shoulders, unconsciously moving around to the tempo of their music. 

A deep sigh escaped Katya. “Lifts, and dips, and dips, and running around.” Katya pulled away and picked up her flower. “I thought this was going to be, like, another comedy challenge.” 

Violet rolled her eyes, though they twinkled with a smile, and she reached for one of her flower rejects – she made three before she made the one that complimented her outfit perfectly. “Well, it’s not, bitch. You can’t do your old lady schtick. You have to be sexy.” 

“Oh…” Katya fiddled with her flower that Violet insisted she needed. 

“So, we’re definitely in the bottom.”

“Ah!” Katya burst into laughter, and she pulled Violet into a tight hug. She could smell the lavender and lilac lotion Violet used. ‘ _Typical_.’ After their brief moment of joy, Katya couldn’t help but ask as she pulled away, “Do you think we’ll have to lip sync against each other?” _‘I don’t think I’d be able to, but Kennedy’s a dancer, and Trixie’s decent, and who knows how good they made Ginger and Pearl look._ ’ 

“No.” Violet shook her head.

“If we do, I’ll just, I’ll just sit down and have a nice time watching you perform.” While Katya made it sound like a joke, she was actually serious. ‘ _I’m can’t be the one to send her home. I won’t. I don’t even think I could stand to see her go home._ ’

“Bitch, shut the fuck up,” Violet threw her first attempt at a flower at Katya, “we’re gonna do great.”

“Okay, whatever you say, Princess.” 

“Ah!” Violet lightly slapped Katya’s shoulders. “I’m not a princess! I’m a queen.” Violet blew Katya a kiss and then walked over to the vanities to join Pearl. If she put a little more sway in her step than usual, well, she’d never tell.

Katya chuckled before she joined up with Ginger and Kennedy to do her own makeup. She didn’t even notice how her anxiety had seemed to fade from joking around with Violet. 

Well, it lasted until the critiques began. Katya had almost panicked earlier during their first performance of the dance – they got to tries for the cameras – when the flower part of the rose that she presented to Violet fell off, but the way Violet had powered through it, how she didn’t even blink and just took it and sniffed the broken stem all passionately had revitalized Katya during the dance and just made her feel stronger as she pulled Violet into close partner work. Katya had felt powerful, and the way Violet looked at her, even though it was most likely just Violet being in character for the dance, had made Katya feel sexy. However, then the critiques began.

“Next up, Katya.” 

“First off,” Michelle said, “I’d like to say that I loved seeing you with this black hair, ‘cause we’re so used to seeing Katya with this red hair or this blonde hair. We haven’t really gotten to see this black fantasy yet.”

“When I saw you come out on the runway,” Rachael Harris, the guest judge that evening, said, “I was like, ‘Oh!’ You were very coquettish, and then when you turned, and I mean this as a compliment,” Katya tried to smile, though she knew it probably looked forced and nervous, as Rachael said, “it was very, like, hot douchey guy.” 

Michelle then spoke again. “Your girl side was gorgeous, but your boy side was bleh.” 

Katya heard a few compliments over her knowing the choreography, but they didn’t compliment any skill or technique or even her performance. ‘I sucked. I sucked so hard. Shit.’ 

‘ _And you look like a douche. Better pack your bags because you’re not winning anything._ ’

‘ _Go away._ ’

‘ _Not the challenge, not the competition, and certainly not Violet._ ’

Throughout the critiques, Violet made sure to stand strong. She had her left hand on her hip, her female side, and her right hand behind her in a militaryesque pose on her male side. She refused to look cowed at all by anything the judges said. Katya and she had performed well together, and they looked gorgeous. Violet would remain fierce looking no matter what, even if her two different shoes made her ache even more.

“Alright, V is for Violet.” 

Alyssa Milano, the other guest judge for the day, stared at Violet with dreamy eyes. “I feel like you are an absolute work of art.” 

Violet allowed a small smile to grace her lips. “Thank you.” 

“You are so exquisite. Like, I kinda want to be you.” Violet and Katya laughed. “Is that weird?” 

Michelle patted Alyssa on the back.  “Have your baby first.” 

“Maybe I’m gonna name my baby after you.” 

“Rupaula Chachki.” 

‘ _Oh, my god. They’re being ridiculous right now._ ’ The judges all chuckled, and Violet batted her eye lashes. 

Carson cleared his throat as the judges simmered down. “Technically, your tango, you had just the right tone for it.”

‘ _Yay_.’ 

“Some of your extensions, you got really low, very tango, so congratulations.” 

“Thank you.” 

Michelle then took over. “Tonight, your runway was the best for me.” 

“Oh,” Rupaul sighed, “it took my breath away.” 

Elation welled up in Violet’s body. The judges all seemed to love her. 

“You’re a little bit like Bambi, though.” Carson said.

Violet cocked her head to the side. ‘ _What?_ ’ 

“Very pretty,” Violet nodded, “big eyes, but when you’re asked to move, it’s very…” Carson moved his hands around as he attempted to find the word while Violet held her breath.

“Like Taylor Swift in heels?” 

“Yes. It’s very that.”

‘ _So, it’s still fucking I’ve got the look, but I still don’t have substance or performance to back it up. Fuck. I’m totally lip syncing tonight._ ’  

They were then all dismissed for Untucked as the judges deliberated. 

Once nearly all of them had all sat down, Ginger addressed the room. “Well, I’d like to tell everyone bye.” 

Katya looked at Ginger. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Please, just shut up,” Pearl said as he meandered over to the couch in between Violet and Trixie. “I’m gonna sit right in the middle.” 

“I was, I was gonna say that.” 

Ginger stared at Katya with a confused look upon her face. “You?” 

“Yeah.” 

“They had nothing but good things to say about you.” 

“No, I mean, no,” Katya looked at her knees, “I know I’m in the bottom.” ‘ _I mean, seriously, it’s been way too long since I’ve been in the bottom, and I was bound to screw up again._ ’ 

‘ _You always do._ ’ 

Katya cringed at the voice. 

“I don’t know,” Pearl said, “I just have a feeling, I don’t know, that tonight’s the night for me.”

Violet rolled her eyes at Katya and Pearl’s doubts. “They had the most amount of critiques to say for me and Ginger.” 

Katya’s eyes widened as she leaned across the room towards Violet. “No, they, what are you talking about? Are you?” 

“They were, like, ‘You were really in your head, Violet.’” 

Katya shook her head. ‘ _No, no, no, no…_ ’ “But they weren’t–” 

“But I wasn’t.”  

“They didn’t like me.” Katya focused all of her attention on Violet. “Do you know what I mean? The judges didn’t gag at all.” ‘ _They look at me like I’m completely fucking insane._ ’ 

‘ _Probably because you are._ ’ 

“She called me a hot douche.” 

‘ _Who would want to be stuck with you forever?_ ’

Having had enough of the Violet and Katya self-doubt fest, Pearl interrupted. “You’re like a straight porn star. You know how they’re like hot but douche?”

Violet smirked. “Yeah, you’re like the guy who wouldn’t tell anyone you had sex with.” 

‘ _See?_ ’

‘ _Shut up. She didn’t mean it like that._ ’

‘ _You sure about that?_ ’

Pearl then sighed. “I just have a feeling. You know when you just have a feeling?” 

Trixie nodded her head. “When you lip sync, you can feel it. You really can.” 

“You think that’s true?” Katya asked. “Then I think it’s me and you.” Katya pointed between Pearl and herself. 

“Yeah.” 

“What did they say negative about you?” Violet asked as she stared at Pearl. 

“That I’m stiff and I have white boy syndrome and I can’t dance.”  

“But the only thing that really registers is the stiff part. You have great energy. They said that I was in my head which is what I have been struggling with this entire time.” ‘ _It’s why I’m going to be lip syncing tonight. They’re probably fed up with giving me the same fucking critique._ ’ 

‘ _No, no, no. You can’t be. She can’t be._ ’

“But I honestly assumed that you were gonna be, like, a really good dancer just from your body and stuff,” Trixie said. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

Violet looked askance at Katya. “Was I not? Oh, my god!” 

“Wait, wait, no, no…”

‘ _Looks like you just fucked it up._ ’

“It’s just that it took-it took awhile to get the steps.” 

Violet smirked at Katya’s backtracking. ‘ _She’s so adorable, but what is she so worried about? She’s fine._ ’ “I’m more of a poser than a dancer.” 

Ginger smirked at the opening. “I’ve called you a poser from day one.” 

Violet rolled her head over to face Ginger before she rolled it back and rolled her eyes. ‘ _Whatever_.’ “This was a fucking cool ass challenge though.” 

“You know what?” Katya asked. “I thought it was going to be stupid.” 

“But looking at you,” Violet stared at Katya like she was the only one in the room at that moment, “like, it really registers.” Violet mentally shook her head as she became aware of all the other girls staring at her. “I don’t know, same with you.” Violet looked over at Pearl, the designated hot one of the bunch before her eyes naturally drifted back over to Katya. “It’s, like, so cool to just imagine it mirrored.” Making eye contact with Katya seemed to pull at something inside of Violet. What, she didn’t know.

Trixie nodded. “And I think it really brings out how handsome you are.”

After that look in Violet’s eyes, Katya had to get away. She signaled to Ginger that she needed a smoke, and the two, plus Pearl, got up and left. Right before she left the door, though, Katya turned back and gave Violet a little wave goodbye. 

Trixie, remaining positive after what felt like a good performance on her part, said, “We get this moment together because we’re not smokers.” 

“I know, right?” Kennedy nodded.

Violet smirked. “Yay, lungs.”

Kennedy looked Trixie up and down. “Trixie, you’re giving me Brokeback Mountain right now.” 

“Girl, my back feels broke after lifting up Ginger, girl.”

“You’re giving, ‘Oh, I’m gonna go get fucked in the woods.’” 

Violet’s eyes widened. “Ooh! Bitch, you need to quit it with all that because I am so ready.” 

Trixie smirked. “Are you getting to that point, girl? Is sex just on your mind.” 

Kennedy glared at Trixie. “I’m passed that point.” 

“You have no idea.” Violet leaned into Trixie as she shook her finger at her. “You have no idea.” 

“Well, the looks you’ve been giving Katya lately…”

“Oh, God. Shut up.” Violet felt her cheeks start to warm, and she could only hope that her makeup covered them.

Kennedy chuckled. “You two really do just need to fuck and get it out of your system because that tension between you two is really getting distracting.”

Violet rolled her eyes and giggled. “Well, sorry.”  

“You with Katya, though, with that tango? You got pretty hot and heavy there.”

Violet nodded her head. “Well, yeah, girl, like me and Katya were like basically fucking in out dance, and I had to look into Katya’s eyes.” Violet drifted off as she though about all the various shades in Katya’s blue eyes. 

“You sure nothing happened there, girl?”

Violet shook herself out of her daydream. “No, no. Nothing,” Violet smirked, “yet.” 

Kennedy cackled. “Damn, girl! We are men though.” 

“And boys will be boys.” Violet winked. 

Outside, Pearl took a drag of his cigarette as Ginger attempted to choreograph something for the lip sync song in the parking lot. “I think it’s gonna be me and you for sure. I just feel like it’s my time.” 

Katya nodded from her place beside Pearl. “I feel the same way.” 

Ginger turned to Katya. “Why do you think you’re…?” 

Katya shook her head “I don’t know. I just, they didn’t really have anything great to say about me.” 

Ginger raised her eyebrows as Pearl finished his cigarette and left them to chat. Ginger walked up the ramp to stand next to Katya. “I think they had some great things to say about me, but for every great thing, there were two bad things.” 

“I just feel that when you get hot douche…” Ginger chuckled. “it’s the kiss of death.” 

“I’m totally expecting for myself that I’ll have to lip sync.”  

“Me too.”

“God,” Ginger rolled her eyes, “it’s so hard this time to figure out who’s going to be up when nearly everyone thinks they’re going to lip sync, even your girl in there.”

Katya felt her heart clench. ‘ _No, she can’t. She can’t lip sync._ ’ Thoughts swarmed Katya’s head of Violet leaving the competition, of Katya being unable to say goodbye, of Violet going back home to Atlanta without knowing how much she meant to Katya, of Violet hooking up with guys in Atlanta. ‘ _She can’t go home without knowing. She can’t, she can’t!_ ’ “You don’t think…”

Ginger shook her head. “God, no. Not at all. Think she’s just finally gotten caught up in the anxiety we’ve all been faced with at some point.” Ginger grabbed and squeezed Katya’s hand. “She’s going to be fine.”

Katya huffed out a breath with a smile. “Good, good.” 

They then finished their cigarettes and headed back inside. Katya saw all the girls laughing on the couch as she made her way over to the vanity, and she watched as Violet looked up at her and smiled. After she sat down in front of the mirror with her mp3 player, Katya watched as Violet made her way over to her.

Once Violet sat down next to Katya, Katya reached over and grabbed her hand. “What are you thinking about?” 

Violet cocked her head to the side as she squeezed Katya’s hand back. “How are you?” 

“I’m pretty sure I’m gonna lip sync.” 

“I feel like I’m gonna lip sync.” 

‘ _No, no, no. You’re not. You can’t. Not without knowing…_ ’ 

‘ _What? You’re going to tell her now? Right before she may have to lip sync to save her life? You’d really destroy her game that way? You’re so fucking selfish._ ’ 

‘ _No, I’m not_.’ Katya took a breath. ‘ _Violet’s not lip syncing, and I’m not going to lose the lip sync. I won’t. Then, I’ll see._ ’ 

‘ _Going to destroy her game._ ’

“Well, if we do lip sync,” Katya swung their hands as she gave up trying to convince Violet that she was safe, that she was amazing that day, so she played along, “I will see you in a few weeks.” Violet smiled. “Do you want me to check your email when I go home?” 

Violet grinned as she dropped Katya’s hand to shove her shoulder. “Bitch, shut up.” Violet then placed her hand on Katya’s thigh. “No, seriously, like, I’m so at peace with it. What we did was beautiful.” 

Katya nodded. “Yeah.” ‘ _You’re beautiful._ ’ “It was good.” 

–

“Welcome back, ladies. Based on your prancing and runway presentations, I’ve made some decisions, and this week, I’ll be judging you in pairs.”

‘ _What?_ ’ Katya’s eyes widened in panic. 

‘ _You’re fucking kidding me._ ’ 

“Katya and Violet Chachki, you two make a striking pair, but could this be your last tango?”

‘ _Oh, God, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Don’t make me lip sync against her, please, please, please…_ ’

“Katya and Violet, condragulations, you are the winners of this week’s challenge.” 

‘ _Wha?_ ’ Katya whipped her head between Violet and the judges. ‘ _This is a joke. This has to be a joke._ ’ When Katya saw Violet’s thrilled expression, though, she knew it wasn’t. A smile stretched across Katya’s face as she looked back between Violet and the judges. “I’m so fucking happy!” 

Violet laughed, and she grabbed Katya’s jaw and placed a spontaneous kiss right on the bone, leaving behind a bright red mark.

“Oh, you fucking bitch.” Violet doubled over in laughter as Katya looked in shock at the judges over the language she just used in front of them. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

Violet could not take the smile off of her face as Rupaul read to them their prize of a custom gown and suit. ‘ _I cannot believe we won._ ’ Violet looked over at Katya. ‘ _Actually, yeah I can._ ’ 

–

After Ginger lip synced against Trixie and saved herself, the remaining five queens headed back into the workroom, all excited for the relaxing weekend ahead. 

Ginger wiped off Trixie’s mirror message. “Enough of this sad shit, congratulations to our winners!” Katya and Violet fell into a tight hug where limbs became so intertwined, it became difficult to distinguish whose belonged to whom. “You seemed surprised to win, Katya.” 

Katya shook her head as Violet and her disentangled, though she kept her hand on the small of Violet’s back while Violet kept her arms loosely wrapped around Katya’s shoulders. “I was so delirious, I didn’t even really know what happened.” 

“I know that we worked out asses off,” Violet said as she gave Katya a short squeeze.

Katya nodded. “Yeah, we worked really hard.” 

“And I’m so proud of us.” Violet nuzzled into the crook of Katya’s shoulder for a second or two.

Ginger raised her eyebrow as a smirk danced across her lips. “Well, that’s enough lovey dovey-ness for me. Think I need an adult around you two nowadays.” 

Violet barked out a laugh as she finally let go of Katya, and they all took that as their cue to untuck and get out of drag, and the cameramen packed up their cameras. Katya turned to head over to her partition when she glanced at herself in the mirror and saw the lipstick print Violet had left on her face. Katya looked over to Violet who was removing her hairpiece in front of a mirror.

“Hey, Violet?”

Violet looked at Katya through the reflection of the mirror and arched an eyebrow.

“Can we talk? I-I have something I need to tell you.”


	12. The Ruveal

_“Can we talk? I-I have something I need to tell you.”_

Violet looked over at Katya. Katya looked nervous. Her hands twitched as if they wanted to hold onto something. Her bottom lip trembled, but Katya’s eyes bore into her with such surety that Violet could only nod. “Sure. Of course. What is it?”

“Um,” Katya’s eyes darted around the room at the cameramen packing their shit and at their competitors, “can we go somewhere a little less…open?”

Violet cocked her head over to her rack, and Katya nodded in response. Violet finished pulling her wig off and set it on the vanity before she stood up and walked over with Katya to stand between the wall and her clothing rack where no one could see them. 

“So,” Violet’s hand unconsciously found each other and twisted around each other and squeezed, “what did you want to talk about?” 

‘ _It’s all going to go up in fucking flames._ ’ 

Katya took a deep breath, and after she saw Violet’s hand betraying her own nerves, Katya grabbed them and held Violet’s hands in her own. “I, um, wanted – needed – to tell you something.”

A small smile appeared on Violet’s lips when Katya grabbed her hands. “Yes?”

“I-I-I…” Katya stared into Violet’s eyes until she couldn’t anymore, couldn’t look into those open and trusting eyes, couldn’t stare at the hope and joy in them when she knew it couldn’t last. She looked down at her feet. ‘ _Why did I think I should have waited? I don’t even know how to tell her now. How do I even begin to explain why I kept this from her? Fuck._ ’

Katya could almost swear the voice was laughing at her incompetence. 

Violet squeezed Katya’s hands. “You can tell me.” Violet smiled at Katya when Katya lifted her eyes to meet her own. “I think I can guess what it is anyway, so just tell me.” ‘ _You’re going to ask me out, aren’t you? Just ask. You’ve got to know that I’ll say yes._ ’

Katya’s mouth felt like chalk. ‘ _I can’t…but I have to._ ’ Katya dropped Violet’s hands, and she reached behind her back to unzip her tango outfit. 

Violet felt confused for a moment when Katya dropped her hands, but once Violet realized that Katya had moved onto undressing herself, Violet couldn’t help but salivate. ‘ _Finally!_ ’ Violet’s eyes trailed down Katya’s body as Katya peeled off the half-man half-woman outfit which left Katya clad in only her bra, cincher, padding, and tights. Violet chewed on her bottom lip when Katya removed her cincher and dropped her bra, and Violet couldn’t help but grin as Katya’s fingers played with the top of her tights that sat at her waist and covered everything below. ‘ _A win and now a strip show from Katya? This is truly an amazing day._ ’

Katya closed her eyes as she played with her tights. Only a couple of inches covered the biggest secret she had kept from nearly everyone during the competition, especially from Violet. ‘ _I can’t do this_ ’ and ‘ _I have to_ ’ played over and over in her head. Katya took a deep breath and pulled down her tights to just below her hip bone. Just below her sickle mark. Their mark. 

Violet held her breath as Katya pulled down her tights, and she cocked her head to the side when Katya stopped after only a couple of inches. ‘ _Why’d you sto…_ ’ Violet’s eyes zeroed in on the dark mark on Katya’s right hip, a mark so similar to her own. Exact, even. It was the perfect match to her deformed looking moon on her own right hip. Violet bit her tongue as she raised her eyes to Katya’s face where she still had her own eyes shut. Violet would wait for Katya to speak first. She was the one who wanted to speak in the first place anyway. 

Katya heard a sharp inhale from Violet and knew she must have seen the mark. She kept her eyes shut as she waited for Violet to say something, anything, for Violet to shout, or scream, or yell. She waited for the sound of Violet’s heels click clacking away as she stomped off. When no sound came, though, Katya peaked out of one eye only to see Violet staring at her with a falsely constructed blank face. Knowing that she had been caught, Katya opened her other eye. 

Violet arched a brow at her as she crossed her arms.

When Katya opened her mouth, no sound came out. She looked down at her feet as she cleared her throat before she raised her head to look back at Violet’s face. She couldn’t let her cowardice take over. “S-so, um…this is what I had to tell, or, um, rather show you.” 

“Why?” 

Katya’s eyes widened as her heart hammered away harder in her chest. “I just, um, th-thought it was the right time to t-tell you.” 

Silence stood between them for a moment as it cloyed the air.

Violet breathed in a deep breath and exhaled it all through her nose, not unlike a raging bull. “How long?”

Katya shifted back as her arms wrapped around her stomach. She only just prevented herself from covering the mark again, this time with her hands. ‘ _No more hiding._ ’ “What?”

Violet rolled her eyes as her voice became sharper, harder. “How long have you known?”

“Um, since, since the first Untucked.” Katya cringed at her stuttering. She couldn’t seem to do anything right, even speak. 

“Since the…?” Violet shook her head as she bit the inside of her cheeks. “So you’ve fucking known since we met.” 

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you fucking say anything?” Violet’s eyes remained hard like a barren tundra; there was nothing warm nor inviting in her brown eyes. 

“Um, there were, um, a couple reasons.” Katya had to look away from Violet’s eyes. She focused on Violet’s shoulder. It looked tense.

“What?” Violet wanted answers. 

“Well, um, the big one was,” ‘ _Can’t say I was nervous over how she would react, can’t say that, can’t say that, can’t say that…_ ’ “I-I didn’t want it to be a d-distraction for you.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “So you tell me right before out last fucking week here when we have to be completely on our fucking game or we’re fucking gone?”

Katya cringed away from Violet. “Um, I wanted to tell you once we had finished…”

“But you didn’t.” 

Silence filled the air again. 

Violet sighed. “What were your other reasons?”

“Oh, w-well, um…”

Violet tapped her foot against the floor. “Well?”

“I-It’s just that I w-was sort of, um, I-I just didn’t know how you’d, you know, react?”

“You were upset that I was your match?” Violet clenched her fists together. 

Katya shook her head back and forth. “No, no, that wasn’t it, I just, and you were…”

“A bitch. You thought I was a bitch like everyone else here.” Violet rolled her eyes. 

Katya kept shaking her head as Violet spoke. “No, I just–”

“No,” Violet snapped, “I’m the bitch, I’m the ‘Shadiest Queen,’ I’m the fuck what anyone else wants to call me. Whatever. I’m done.” Violet rolled her eyes as she tuned to walk away.

“Wait,” Katya reached a hand out and took a step to follow, “I didn’t mean–”

“No.” Violet whipped around. “Not the time.” Violet walked a few steps away from Katya before she paused. She turned back around and walked back over. 

Katya’s breath hitched as she waited for what Violet would say. 

Violet raised her chin into the air. “These are my clothes. Leave.”

Katya gasped out a breath, only just holding back tears, and she nodded and walked over to her side of the room in just her tights and padding. She left her clothes on the floor with Violet; she didn’t even want to look at them. She didn’t want any the reminder of this horrible day.  

‘See. I told you.’

Ginger looked over at Katya with a questioning look on her face, and Katya shook her head and averted her gaze away from everyone. She couldn’t talk about it right now. 

After Katya finished stripping out of her undergarments and after she took out her hair piece, Katya walked into the bathroom with her washcloth and soap. She looked into the mirror with red-rimmed eyes full of tears she hadn’t allowed herself to shed. She pressed the damp and soapy cloth against her left eye, and then she pressed it against her right. She smeared away the makeup. She brought the wet cloth down her cheeks and wiped away the blush, the foundation, the concealer, the highlights, the lowlights, all of it. She wiped all of it away. She took away the lipstick. She took away all that made her Katya and all that was left was Brian – the weak, average, gaunt alcoholic and drug addict. Why did she ever think anyone could ever want her? As she wiped along her jaw, she stopped. She stared at the red stain on her jaw, the stain Violet had left behind mere hours ago with her lips which now felt like a lifetime ago. Everything had been amazing, and then Katya fucked it up. She fucked it up like she fucked everything up. 

‘ _You knew I was always right._ ’

Katya dropped the washcloth.

‘ _She didn’t want you._ ’

Her hands clutched the sides of the sink.

‘ _She’ll never want a pathetic, fucked up failure like you._ ’

Tears streamed down her face as a hitched sob finally escaped her throat. Katya buckled over as her frame shook from sobs. Her tears fell into the sink, to disappear with the soap and water. No one would ever have to know about her breakdown. 

Violet was pissed. No, Violet was furious. 

‘ _How dare she? How fucking dare she?_ ’ Violet didn’t even really know what part she was most angry about – the fact that this distraction might now ruin her game or that Katya had clearly wanted nothing to do with her when she found out she was stuck with Violet as a soulmate. 

Violet kicked Katya’s outfit out of her way as she unzipped her own tango dress-and-suit combo, but then she felt bad about kicking the outfit. The clothes had done nothing wrong, and it was a beautiful creation. She tore her outfit off, folded it, tossed it in one of her bags before she picked up Katya’s and hung it up with her own clothes. After brushing off any stray dust, dirt, or hair, Violet moved onto taking off her corset.

It made complete sense though. Katya was clearly ashamed of her. It was why Katya barely spoke to her even spoke to her at the beginning. It explained why Katya didn’t stand up for her when Kennedy threw her under the bus during that stupid Shakespeare challenge. 

She got her corset off, and while she wanted to throw it, she knew she still needed it in good condition, and if she damaged it in anyway, she would end up kicking herself for weeks over it, so, instead, she put it away properly and then took off her bra.

‘ _Whatever. Never wanted a soulmate before this stupid competition anyway. Never should have even considered it._ ’ 

As Violet pulled down her own tights, her finger brushed across her mark. She pulled her hand away as if it burned. Her eyes focused on the mark. She could only stare at it as she pulled her tights down until her vision blurred. A hand released the tights when it went up to her eyes to wipe away the tears that had formed. She would not let them fall. She wouldn’t. At least not where anyone else could see them. She couldn’t show weakness, not at this stage in the game. She refused to let anyone see her crack.

Once Violet finished getting changed into her comfy boyish clothes, something she needed at the moment, she headed to the bathroom to wash her face. 

When Katya finished sobbing, she quickly cleaned off the rest of her face, though she left the stain where it was. It was her only connection to Violet, especially since Violet clearly hated her. Katya took a breath after she dried her face, but when she opened the bathroom door to leave, it felt like all the breath had been knocked right back out of her. Violet stood in front of her in a loose shirt, and while Violet’s eyes had widened, the rest of her face remained impassive and devoid of emotion. 

They said nothing as they stared at each other. Katya took a few steps out of the bathroom as she walked towards Violet, barely even aware of what she was doing. Violet stared at her for a moment before she brushed passed her and made her own way into the bathroom. Katya turned around to watch Violet, but she only saw Violet close the door because she never looked back at Katya. 

–

When all the queens gathered at their now single van, Violet made sure to drag Pearl in to sit in between her and Katya in the back since Ginger and Kennedy had claimed the middle two seats for themselves. As Ginger and Kennedy made small talk, Ginger kept drifting an eye over to look at Katya. She watched as pink eyes, strained from tears, would steal glances at Violet before they would look back down at her knees while Violet kept her head turned to the window for the entire duration of the ride, and Pearl had fallen into a awkward silence as he sat between the two, unwilling to make the ride even more uncomfortable. 

As soon as Katya got to her hotel room, she grabbed Cheryl and collapsed onto her bed, and she let herself cry herself to sleep in the comfort of a bed and away from prying eyes and cameras. Around three in the morning, a knocking on her hotel room door woke her. It took her a minute to stretch out her kinks in her back, and she made her way to the door which opened to reveal…Ginger. 

“Going to let me in?”

Katya opened the door wider before she stepped back to let Ginger enter her room. She walked back over to her bed and grabbed Cheryl as she sat back down, and she placed Cheryl on her lap. Her fingers ran through the course fur to keep her mind calm so that she didn’t have to think of anything that had happened. 

Ginger shut the door behind her and pulled up a chair to sit in front of Katya, and then they just sat in silence for a minute as both waited for the other to speak.

Ginger sighed as Katya continued to pet Cheryl. 

“So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”

Katya bit her lip.

Ginger arched an eyebrow. “Really? Katya,” Ginger reached over and placed a hand over Katya’s knee, “come on. It’s me. What happened? I saw you and Violet go back behind the racks, and then you came out practically in tears.” 

Katya squeezed her eyes shut as she clenched her jaw together. She didn’t want to…she didn’t want to say it because saying it made it real, made the horrible day real, and she really just wanted to forget. Forget it all happened, forget the competition, forget everything.

“Katya,” Ginger squeezed her knee, “it’s me. It’s Ginger, the shade-throwing, over-sized glamour toad herself. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to see you upset, but since you are, I need to be here for you, so please, let me be here for you.”

“I told her,” Katya whispered.

Ginger tilted her head to the side. “What?”

Katya swallowed, and she raised her voice to a more audible volume. “I told her, or, well, I showed her m-m-my mark.” Katya blinked her eyes as she felt them start to fill.

Ginger groaned and looked down for a moment, and when she looked back up, she reached over and grabbed Katya’s hand that had been petting Cheryl. “Can I assume that she did not react favorably?” 

Katya shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes, ready to overflow. 

Ginger squeezed her hand. “What happened? Exactly. Maybe there’s something–”

“She hates me.”

Ginger’s eyes widened. “What?”

“She hates me.”

“Did she say that?” Ginger asked in a whisper.

Katya shook her head as the tears finally fell from her eyes again. While Violet may not have said those words, Katya knew, she just knew that Violet hated her. She fucked up because she’s a fuck up. Always had been, always will be. Katya started to rock back and forth on the bed as her breath hitched from her trying to keep back the sobs that wanted to burst forth. 

“She hates me.” 

Katya pulled her hand from Ginger’s grasp and covered her face with both hands as the sobs took control from her. She was vaguely aware of arms wrapping themselves around her, but she couldn’t do anything, couldn’t think of anything other than the fury she saw on Violet’s face. ‘ _She’ll never forgive me._ ’

When Violet had entered her room, she threw off her clothes and jumped into the shower to wash the day away. She lathered her hair in shampoo, and as she rinsed, she just watched the soap suds disappear down the drain. She just wanted to forget the day, forget how Katya had lied to her, forget how Katya clearly didn’t want her when she discovered that Violet was her soulmate, forget how her first couple of weeks were hell and how everyone seemed to hate and how Katya did nothing. 

Violet stepped out of the shower, died off, slipped into a soft shirt and underwear, and slid into bed. She gritted her teeth together as she fell asleep clutching a pillow to her face. No tears would fall because of Katya; she refused to let them fall, and Violet drifted into an uneasy sleep. 

The next morning when she awoke, Violet felt a lot calmer. All the stress that had built up over the week seemed to have vanished, and when she woke up, she felt guilt churn in her stomach because of her reaction to Katya. She still felt hurt over Katya’s lie of omission, but Katya had still told her the truth, and then they had had all of those other moments where Violet had felt like Katya did have feelings for her and seemed to actually like her. Maybe Katya really didn’t know how to react when she discovered their perfect matching marks, and maybe Katya didn’t want her at the beginning, but she had still revealed the truth to Violet, and sure, it was at a horribly inopportune time, but what was one more thing? It wasn’t like this would send her home unless she let it affect her, and she would never allow that to happen.

Violet didn’t really want to dwell over the fact that she had now found her soulmate, and she certainly didn’t want to spend the rest of the week going over why Katya didn’t tell, why she did when she did, etcetera, etcetera. They could talk after they both made it to the final three. When they made it to the final three, they’d have plenty of time to talk and figure their shit out. Violet felt confident that they would both make it to the end, and then Violet would snatch the crown. After all, Ginger and Pearl had already been in the bottom two twice, and according to tradition, a ball challenge should be next, and since Violet and Katya could both sew circles around Kennedy and Ginger, they should both do just fine which should make them a shoe-in for the finale. 

Violet nodded to herself. She’d let Katya know she wasn’t angry with her anymore on Monday, a little ticked still, but nothing horrible, and that she’d like them to talk after the show wrapped. 

Violet spent the rest of the weekend imaging what the ball challenge would entail. She knew whatever it was, she would kill it. She had to win the final sewing challenge just for her own pride’s sake. Finally, the competition seemed to be swinging back in her favor since that first day’s challenge. Every other challenge had seemed to be comedy followed by more comedy. She spent the rest of her weekend pondering over what the twist to this year’s ball would be. 

In Katya’s room, she had spent most of her weekend in a daze. She wanted a drink. Ginger had eventually pried out what exactly got said between them from Katya, and while she knew Ginger had only tried to reassure her that Violet couldn’t possibly hate her, Katya had still seen the doubt on Ginger’s face when she left to go back to her own room before the hallway patrol found out she snuck out. Plus, Ginger didn’t see Violet’s face, so cold and so detached. 

Katya spent most of her weekend in bed. She’d munch on food and drift into an uneasy and unrestful doze as she’d stare at the wall or stare blankly at the television that she had turned on just for some background noise so she wouldn’t feel so alone. Chills seemed to have taken over her body, and she kept her body burrowed into the blankets on her bed with Cheryl tucked in close to her face. Plenty of tears had already seeped into her fur as her beady eyes remained nonjudgmental. 

Katya couldn’t even think about what the next week would entail, and when Monday rolled around, she did not feel rested or ready at all. She just wanted to stay in bed, pretend that nothing had happened and forget. She really wanted to forget. She walked with Ginger down the hall and to the curb outside to wait for the van to pull up with Cheryl clutched in her hand. She couldn’t bear to leave Cheryl behind; she needed the comfort the coonskin cap provided. Her heart started to pound when she saw Violet make her way over to her. She felt Ginger squeeze her forearm as a show of support as she held Cheryl against her stomach. She treated Cheryl less of a comforting tool and more like a barrier between her and Violet to keep Violet from hurting her again. 

“Hey,” Violet said as she stopped next to her.

Katya gave her a short nod, unable to meet her eyes. 

“Look, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted on Friday.” 

Katya’s eyes widened as her breath hitched. 

“It was just a lot to take in, and I know I can get kinda snappy–”

“Hmph,” Ginger chuffed from Katya’s side as she listened in.

Violet rolled her eyes even though she agreed. “Okay, I can turn into a real bitch when things make me uncomfortable, and pretty much any surprises can make me uncomfortable – I don’t like surprises, remember that for the future – but I definitely overreacted, and I’m sorry. And I know you had your reasons for keeping it a secret, and you had reasons for telling me when you did, I get that, I do, and…”

A smile grew on Katya’s face at Violet’s rambling, which she just found adorable, and she finally met Violet’s eyes which caused Violet to fall silent. 

“Thank you,” a smile grew on Violet’s face, “and I want to apolo–”

“Save it.” 

Katya’s teeth clicked together as she shut her mouth.

“Save until after we make it to the final three. We can talk about it all then. Until then, can we just pretend that nothing’s changed? Please?”

Katya nodded.

“Good,” Violet looked down as she smiled, “good. Say, is that, what’s the name, um…”

Katya looked at where Violet’s eyes had focused on her coonskin. “Cheryl?”

“Yeah.”

Katya nodded. “Yup, this is Cheryl.” Katya lifted Cheryl to her face. “Cheryl, say, ‘Hi’ to Violet.” 

Violet giggled.

“‘Hi, Violet! You are very pretty this morning,’” Katya said in a high, squeaky voice.

Violet brought her hand to her mouth as she giggled. “Hi, Cheryl.” Violet looked at Katya as she brought Cheryl down. “You are such a dork.” 

Before Katya could reply, the van pulled up. Katya climbed into the backseat, and Violet sat in the middle, and she leaned against Katya for the entire drive back as she pet Cheryl who sat on Katya’s lap.  


	13. Hello, Kitty

Katya and Violet stepped out of the van holding hands, and they held hand up until they approached the door to enter the workroom. Neither wanted the producers to know that they were soulmates; they didn’t even want to think of what they would do with that type of storyline – probably something that would involve them lip syncing against each other for maximum drama and tears. No thank you.

Katya placed Cheryl with her things before she joined the five queens gathered around table. Ginger then turned to look at Katya with a smile as they were all relieving their entrances. “You came in this whole Russian doll getup.” 

Violet nodded from the far side of the table next to Pearl. “I thought you were from Russia. I was, like, they flew this bitch in.” 

Katya chuckled. “Most people who come to my show don’t know that I’m not Russian,” Katya changed her voice to a really bad Russian accent, “because I talk in this fake Russian accent.” Violet laughed which just made Katya’s muscles relax even more. 

“Hello, hello, hello!” The queens all turned around to face Rupaul, and as Rupaul walked down the steps, they all gathered in their usual line. “Ladies, at this point in the competition, you probably know what the others queens are gonna say before they do.” The girls started to smile. “So, for today’s mini-challenge, it’s your chance to prove it with…puppets! Because why?” 

“Because everybody loves puppets!” 

Rupaul nodded. “Pick a puppet that represents one of your competitors and drag it up. First up, Katya.” 

Katya walked over to the hole. She knew whoever she got, she could probably make work because everyone had quirks she could use. “Ginger Minj.” Katya laughed as she stared at the plus-sized puppet.

Ginger walked up next and pulled out, “Violet.” She then ran her fingers the the doll’s long yarn hair. 

“Bitch, my hair is laid, I don’t know what they’re talking about.” 

After Pearl and Kennedy ended up picking each other, Violet knew that she had Katya, and while she would have loved to have gotten the chance to have been super shady with Ginger and Kennedy, it felt right that she got Katya. 

“Alright, Violet, get over there and stick it into the hole.” 

Violet laughed as she pulled out Katya’s doll, and Katya understood why immediately when Violet patted down the doll’s hair.

“I don’t have that much hair!” Katya said as she tried to fix her own hair. 

When Rupaul released them, they all scrambled to the Fabric Planet Wall and the provided doll-sized wigs. 

Ginger, as she ripped off the Violet puppet’s clothes, looked at Violet. “Violet, can I just borrow one of your regular outfits? I think it’ll fit this doll.” 

Violet chuckled. “Try making something.” 

“Girl, I’ll learn how to sew whenever you learn how to act.” Violet smiled and shook her head as Ginger finally got all the clothes off of the puppet. She then held up her doll. “Done.” 

Violet laughed at Ginger as Katya made her way over to Violet, and she saw that Violet had already started to put together a pink sequined dress for the Katya doll. Katya felt a need to impart some fun wisdom. 

“The key to capturing my essence is by capturing my scent visually.” 

Violet grinned as she looked down at the Katya doll, and Katya gave her a small nudge before she went back to the Ginger puppet. Violet squeezed the Katya puppet to her stomach when Katya left for a short moment, and she went back to work on capturing Katya’s scent visually, which meant that she bummed a cigarette off of Pearl. 

Once their twenty minutes were up, they gathered by Rupaul again.

“Alright, ladies, let the bitch-fest begin.” 

Pearl and Kennedy went first and had a little reading session; Violet particularly loved Pearl’s interpretation of Kennedy’s Tony the Tiger on crack look she did, and then Violet was up.

Katya looked at Ginger with a grin as Violet stood in the puppet booth. “That looks just like me!” 

“I’m Katya Slavonaofobitch,” the Katya puppet said. 

“Is that Russian? Are you from Russia?” Violet asked the puppet.

“No.” 

Katya chuckled. 

“Go you, Katya, I can’t wait to see more from you.” 

“Yeah, I can’t wait too. I’m gonna go smoke something. Meth.” 

Katya bent over in laughter; it really felt good to laugh again after that horrible weekend, and it really seemed like Katya could not hold herself back from feeling joyful over every little joke. 

Katya then walked up with her Ginger puppet and did her little bit, and then Ginger had her turn with the Violet puppet. 

“Violet, you know, I think your name, Violet Chachki, is very interesting. Where does that come from?” 

“Well,” the Violet puppet began, “I wanted to figure out what was beautiful and completely worthless. A tchotchke!” The real Violet threw her head back and laughed because, well, it was true, and she was a bit of a hoarder with her own tchotchke’s that littered her apartment. “I’m trying to train myself with this corset. I’m really trying to get down to two inches.” 

Ginger, acting serious, asked, “Why haven’t you gotten there yet?” 

“’Cause your fucking wrist is so fat and shoved inside me, I’ll never get down to two inches!” 

Violet and Katya leaned into each other as they, along with everyone else, howled from laughter. 

“Oh, God.” Violet wiped a tear from her eye 

When Ginger won, it came as no surprise to the rest of the girls.

“Ladies, America’s Next Drag Superstar needs to know how to brand her charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Now, for inspiration, you’ll be joining forces with a global marketing phenomenon worth over eight billion dollars.” 

“Is that even a real number?” Ginger asked the Katya, which made Katya grin. 

“Ladies. please give a drag race welcome to…Hello Kitty.” Hello Kitty walked in, and Violet’s mouth dropped open. “Hey, Kitty girl, come on down here!” 

Violet grinned and brought her hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide her excitement. “Konichiwa, bitches.” As Hello Kitty walked down the stairs, Violet couldn’t help but bounce a little as she looked back and forth between Hello Kitty and the other girls. “Oh, my god.” ‘ _This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening._ ’ She giggled into her hands.

Katya couldn’t help but look over at the adorable bouncing Violet and grin. She was far too adorable for words as she acted almost like a child. 

“It’s so great to have you on the show!” 

Violet only just held back a squeal as Hello Kitty stopped by Rupaul, though her bouncing seemed to be getting almost out of control. ‘ _Deep breaths, Violet, deep breaths._ ’ The breathing helped, and she settled down to listen to Rupaul announce their challenge.

“Now, for this week’s maxi-challenge, you’ll be designing and creating your very own runway eleganza using products provided my Hello Kitty herself.” Violet grinned. “Although your dress will be made with Hello Kitty items, the final look needs to scream you.” Ginger then got a brief head start to pick her materials, but Violet had no worries; she probably wouldn’t pick anything Violet would want anyway. “Now, gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win!” 

Violet threw the Katya puppet behind her as she booked it to the table, far ahead of the rest of the girls. She would get everything she needed. ‘ _This is the best day of my life! I am so fucking excited to do this challenge._ ’ 

–

Katya stared at the materials she had grabbed and laid out on the floor in front of her as she tried to think of a concept. Nothing. Nothing came to her at all. She looked over at Kennedy and Ginger who both seemed nearly as lost as her. Pearl looked like he was sketching out a design, or that’s what she hoped he was doing with his notebook, and then Katya looked at Violet. Violet looked completely relaxed as she played with her fabrics and toys she had pilfered from the table. Taking a deep breath, Katya stood up and made her way over to Violet. She needed some sort of distraction that would hopefully give her some inspiration, and who better than Violet?

“Hey, Princess.”

Violet rolled her neck to the side to give Katya her bitchiest side-eye. “Still not a princess.” Apparently, her bitchy look didn’t translate because Katya just grinned at her. 

“What’s your plan?” Katya asked as she tilted her head to the side. 

“I don’t know.” Violet bit her lip. “I’m really into, like, period looks. I haven’t really done a sixties kinda thing yet.” 

“Ah.” 

“So, I want to go, like, mod. What about you?” 

Katya’s eyes widened at Violet’s idea, and then her shoulders slumped at her question. “I don’t know. I have no fucking idea.” She picked up an umbrella from Violet’s table. “Maybe I could use this so shield the judges from my horrible outfit.” 

Violet opened the second umbrella and shoved it at Katya with a smile. “Really fierce.” 

Katya opened up her umbrella and held them both up to cover her body. “Oh, my god, how avant garde is this?” 

“Oh my god, bitch. Gaga.” 

Katya hid her body behind the two umbrellas. “It looks so great from the side.” 

“Yes, Gaga, come through. Lady Gaga, you look amazing. Work.” Katya put the umbrellas down and looked at them, hoping for some inspiration. Nothing came. “Oh, it’s just Katya.” Katya rolled her eyes as she walked back over to Violet’s table to put the umbrellas down. “Well, get some inspo.” 

“I’m!” Katya slammed the umbrellas onto the table, and Violet jumped a little. Katya’s heart started to pound when she saw how she had startled Violet. ‘ _Shit_.’ Her shoulders hunched forward. “I’m working on it.” 

Violet tilted her head to the side. “What do you think I can do to…” 

“Don’t pressure me.” Katya gritted her teeth together as she closed her eyes. ‘ _Get it together, Katya. Come on._ ’ When she opened them, she saw that Violet had taken a seat on the stool at her worktable to focus on her own fabric and away from Katya. Katya felt horrible for snapping at Violet when she had done nothing but try to lift her spirits. She picked up some black and pink fabric and twisted it around her hands, and she just stared at the fabric that she had twisted around her hands. After a deep breath and a sigh, she looked back up at Violet. “Violet, you have something that I don’t have.” 

Violet rolled her head back to look at Katya. “Beauty?” While she was a little annoyed with how Katya had snapped at her, she knew Katya didn’t mean to. The competition was stressful, and it wasn’t like Violet hadn’t snapped back at plenty of people since she walked through the doors on the first day. 

Katya swung her fabric at Violet’s back, which made Violet grin. Katya then scrunched her brows. “No, you have this really hairy mole on your back.” Violet laughed, which made Katya grin as it nearly always did. Katya leaned against the table. “No, you have this…unshakeable confidence, and I so admire that.” 

“Thank you.” A small smile tugged at Violet’s lip. “Drag is all about confidence I feel. It’s why I like it.” 

Katya smiled back at Violet. ‘ _Maybe I can try to absorb some of that confidence. Just need a plan for an outfit first._ ’ Before Katya could say anything, though, Rupaul reentered the room. 

“Hello, hello, hello! Look who’s back!” Santino Rice stepped into the room which made all the queens’ eyes widen. “It’s Santino! He’s here to help you with your Hello Kitty eleganza.” 

After a quick squeeze to Violet’s shoulder, Katya left to go figure out what she was going to do about her eleganza so she could have something to show or at least tell Rupaul. She really didn’t want to see Rupaul’s disappointment in her again. 

When Katya left, Violet bent over the boning she had and worked on making herself a head cage. She planned to cover it in the fluffy pink blanket fabric she had and decorate it with the little plastic Hello Kitty toys she had. It would tie her entire outfit together. Lost in designing and creating, she stopped paying attention to any of her surroundings. Her look had to be perfect. She bent and taped the boning into a perfect cage.

“Violet Chachki.” 

Violet looked up and smiled at Rupaul and Santino as she finished taping the last piece of boning into place. “Hi.” 

“Meet Santino.” 

Violet straightened her back, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Katya staring at her. “Hi, Santino.” 

“Hey, Violet, how are you?” 

‘ _Maybe I could play a little with this. Wonder how she’ll react._ ’ Violet batted her eyelashes. “You look so dapper.” 

A smile started to appear on one side of Santino’s face. “Thank you.”

Rupaul glanced between Santino and Violet, and Violet could only just prevent herself from laughing at his awkward expression. “Now, I wanted you to meet Santino because, you know, Santino was also that kid who studies fashion,” Santino opened up an umbrella without looking away from Violet, and Violet couldn’t help but laugh, though while she knew Santino probably thought it was for him, the umbrella really just reminded Violet of Katya and their little Gaga runway, “knew all of the silhouettes. Do you have any questions for Santino?” 

Violet barely caught Rupaul’s last question, but she already knew exactly what she wanted to ask Santino. She tilted her head and look at him with doe-like eyes. “Can we go to Red Lobster?” 

As Santino laughed, clapped his hands, and looked at Rupaul, Violet shifted her gaze to look at Katya who looked upset as she stared at her. Violet’s flirty smile faded from her face, and she turned back to Rupaul to talk serious about their challenge. She hated that it looked like she had caused Katya distress. It really told her that they needed to talk about where they stood. ‘ _Only a couple more days, and we’ll be in the top three and no longer sequestered._ ’ 

“I want to do something bubblegum pop mod meets harajuku.” 

Rupaul’s eyes widened as he glanced at Santino. “Wow.” 

“Everything you just described to us sounds really incredible. This boning you’re using, that’s for your head.” 

Violet smiled, though while not flirty, she still appreciated talking fashion with other fashion-minded people, and she put on the head piece for them to get a better idea of her vision.

“Oh, my goodness! Wow.” Violet felt so proud to have impressed Rupaul, and she knew she could bring out the win. “Now, you’ve set the standard really high.” 

“So, let’s see something amazing out of you.” Santino smiled as he swept his eyes up and down her body.

Violet raised her eyebrows with a small smirk. “I’ll do my very best.” ‘ _You can look, but not touch._ ’ Violet’s eyes drifted over to Katya who had taken to staring at her hands. ‘ _Come on, Katya, get it together._ ’

Rupaul chuckled. “Alright, get to work, and we’ll see you out there.” 

When Santino and Rupaul had walked up to Violet, Katya couldn’t help but stare at her as she flirted with Santino just a few tables away from her. 

‘ _See, she’s already moving on from you._ ’

‘ _No, she’s not._ ’

‘ _What do you call that?_ ’

‘ _It’s nothing. We’re going to talk after this is all over._ ’

‘ _Talk? Yeah, and then she’ll realize what a mistake you are._ ’

‘ _No. No, that’s not what’s going to happen._ ’ Katya looked down at her hands that had started to tremble in her lap.

‘ _She can get whoever she wanted. Look at her. She’s already got Santino wrapped around her little finger._ ’ 

Katya bit her lip. ‘ _Stop it._ ’ 

“Hi, Katya.” 

A small, half-hearted smile appeared on Katya’s lips. “Hi.” 

“Now, you won the challenge last week. How are you going to keep that momentum going?” 

‘You’re not.’ 

Her heart pounded in her chest as she looked at the fabric on the floor. “I’m just, I d-don’t know. Um…” Katya looked up at Rupaul, trying to keep the defeat out of her eyes, “I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

Rupaul looked worried. “If you start doing something, it’ll lead you to where you need to be.” 

Santino nodded. “Absolutely.” 

“If it stays in your head, you’re not gonna get out of the gate.” 

‘ _It’s not even in my head. I don’t even know where to start._ ’

“I would say first and foremost, if you can somehow incorporate Hello Kitty into who Katya is, you’re gonna be alright.” Katya nodded at Santino. 

“Listen, the clock is running out, okay?” 

‘ _Tick tock_.’

With a “Make it work,” Rupaul and Santino left Katya to stew in her thoughts as she tried to figure out who she was. 

‘ _A fuck up._ ’

‘ _A failure._ ’

Katya closed her eyes and took deep breaths as her fingers twitched against her legs. ‘ _I’ll get something. I have to._ ’

“Alright, ladies! Gather round.” 

Katya stood up and walked over to stand next to Violet. She tapped her thigh with her fingers to try to center herself, but nothing seemed to work. She took in a ragged breath, and then she felt fingers, not her own, press against her twitching hand. She looked to her side at saw that Violet was giving her the skin-to-skin contact, and she felt like she could breathe again.    
“Tomorrow, Santino will be back on the judges panel, so good luck, and, wait a minute. Wait.” Violet bent over as she waited to hear what the twist would be, and Katya’ hand moved from her thigh to Violet’s back. “I almost forgot. There’s one more thing.” The Pit Crew walked in with a trolley of large white spherical things. “Now, in addition to your Hello Kitty eleganza, you need to create a second look. That’s right. You need to turn yourself into a character that Hello Kitty would be proud to call her new BFF.” 

‘ _Fuck, fuck._ ’ 

Katya’s hand twitched against Violet’s back. Violet reached behind her as Rupaul turned around to grab Katya’s hand, and she entwined their fingers and squeezed. Katya’s shoulders relaxed as she breathed with Violet. When Rupaul left, Violet and Katya disengaged as they all grabbed their new heads. 

Violet put hers on immediately. “These are not easy to see out of, like at all.” 

Pearl looked at her. “You can’t see?” He put his on. 

Ginger already had hers on and bumped into a table. “Oh, girl, I can’t see anything.”

“You can’t see shit.” Violet laughed, though she started to feel a little stressed as she thought about how difficult it would be to serve face in the head.

“Is this a joke?” Pearl asked as he walked forward in shuffling steps with his arms in front of him. 

Katya’s heart sped up as she walked away from them, and she started to pace between the Fabric Planet Wall and her Hello Kitty items while Pearl and Violet played with their BFF heads. 

“Oh, my gosh. So, okay…” She chewed on her fingernails. 

‘ _It’s over for you._ ’

Katya moved back over to her area with some interesting polkadot fabric she had grabbed and sat on the couch. 

Kennedy looked over from where she was cutting off the Hello Kitty bows from the plush dolls. “How you doing over there, Katya?” 

“Ugh.” Katya squeezed the fabric between her fists and took a deep breath. “I’m okay.” Katya put on a fake smile while her heart continued to pound in her chest. She could almost see it through her clothes, it pounded so hard. The thump, thump, thump, made her shirt twitch. She was, though, a master of hiding her turbulent emotions, so no one would have to ever know. 

Katya somehow figured out a plan for her BFF character, and she even had fun creating her communist kitty friend, but her main outfit…  Another story entirely. She put together a black and pink catsuit, and as she was figuring out where to put Hello Kitty knick knacks, she knew she was fucked. 

When she got back to the hotel room, BFF done and eleganza half done, she knew that there was no way she could escape the bottom two spot. Her eleganza was shit. She popped her earbuds in as she turned on her mp3 player and started to listen to “Roar” on repeat, their lip sync song. She could only hope that she went up against someone she could out lip sync because if she had to face off against Kennedy, she knew she was screwed. Kennedy would tear it up on that stage. Katya turned around and reached for Cheryl on her bed, but her hand hit empty air. Cheryl was not there.

“Cheryl?” Her breathing quickened as she remembered taking Cheryl with her to the workroom. She had left her with her things on by her rack. 

‘ _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._ ’

Katya sat on the bed and covered her eyes with shaky hands after she pulled out the earbuds and tossed the mp3 player onto the bed. She took a deep breath in. ‘ _Everything’s fine. I’m going to be okay._ ’ She exhaled. ‘ _I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be okay_.’ 

‘ _No, you’re not._ ’

Katya shook her head and shoved the voice aside. ‘ _No, I’m going to be just fine._ ’ She took another deep breath in and stood up. 

The minute she stood up, though, her breathing quickened again, and she couldn’t slow it down. Her heart pounded. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. 

‘ _No, I’m fine. I’m fine._ ’ 

Her chest tightened. Sound became muffled. Only the pounding of her heart, the blood pumping through her veins, echoed in her ears. 

‘ _I’m okay. Fuck_.’

Spots danced in the corners of her vision. They seemed to laugh at her. Katya clenched her fists together. 

‘ _You’re losing it._ ’ 

‘ _No! I’m fine. I’m fine._ ’ 

Sweat dripped down her nose as her arms trembled and her stomach churned. She stumbled her way to the bathroom, hands hitting the walls to keep herself upright. The spots darkened the corners of her vision completely. 

‘ _I’m fine. I’m fine._ ’

Her knees buckled in front of the toilet as her vision went black for a second. She could only hear her ragged breathing and pounding heart. Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

‘ _No. I have to be fine. Please._ ’

‘ _You’re not, and you never were._ ’ 

Her stomach lurched, and she could taste bile in the back of her throat just a second before she started to heave. Chunks from her dinner of lunchmeat and bread landed in the toilet, and the acrid smell just made her heave more. Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes as snot clogged her nose. She couldn’t even breathe because her throat just kept spewing out vomit. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn't, she couldn’t… She gasped for breath in a panic and ended up swallowing back some of the bile just for some air, which just caused her stomach to churn more, and the heaving began anew. Her stomach cramped. She heaved until nothing came up anymore, not even stomach acid. 

Katya placed her hot, overheated forehead against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat as tears and snot covered her face. 

‘ _I’m not okay._ ’

‘ _You never were._ ’

‘ _I’m such a fucking fuck up._ ’

Tears leaked out of her eyes as her body shook against the toilet. At least she could breathe again though. 

–

Violet looked at Katya when they got onto the van. Katya had deep dark circles under her eyes. Rather than say anything, Violet just pulled Katya’s head down to her shoulder, and she rubbed little circles on Katya’s thigh. Katya needed to get some rest, and even ten or fifteen minutes had to be better than nothing. They could talk in the workroom. 

In the workroom, Violet followed Katya over to her station. Violet only had a few last minute details to perfect her own look, easy for her to finish in a few minutes, so she had some time to devote to Katya. “How’s yours coming, Katya?” 

“Um, well, I think in the pantheon of bad decision making, I think my runway outfit is, like…” Katya bit her lip.

Violet scrunched her brows. “The one?” 

Katya nodded. “The one.” ‘ _I’m such a fuck up._ ’ 

Violet nodded as she looked at the catsuit Katya pulled out. “Commit to your look, commit to your look.” Violet reached an arm forward and gave Katya’s bicep a squeeze. “You’ve got this. You’re not gone yet. You still need to make it to top three with me,” Violet smirked, “and then I’ll win the crown.” 

A bark of laughter escaped Katya. “Sure you will, Princess.” 

Violet smacked Katya’s arm with the back of her hand. “How many times do I have to tell you? I’m a queen, and I’ll prove when I wear the queen’s crown…again.” 

A small smile grew on Katya’s face. “Maybe a few more times.” 

After one more squeeze to Katya’s arm, Violet left to finish up her look and do her makeup while Katya got down to stitching on the last of her additions before they had to go to the runway for their critiques. 

–

“First up, Violet Chachki.” Violet stood strong with her hands on her hips. She felt like a perfect pink doll.

“Let’s talk about your BFF,” Michelle began. “She was super fun and still vain. I thought you did a good job tonight.” 

Santino then brought up Violet’s eleganza look. “It’s reminding me of Barbarella. It’s beautiful.” 

“What I’m loving most about this look,” Michelle said, “is it’s very different for Violet Chachki.” 

Violet smiled after each critique; they just seemed to get more and more complimentary. She had this challenge in the bag. “Thank you, guys, so much.” 

Katya listened as the judges raved over Violet’s look and then complimented both Ginger and Pearl’s outfits. Katya sighed to herself. 

“Next up, Katya.” Katya took a deep breath in and released it in slow counts. 

Carson began. “For you BFF, I loved your voice over.” Katya smiled a little.

“Then we have the look, the eleganza.” Michelle had to be the one to bring up her horrible decision making skills. “I’m a bit confused by it because the hair, to me, doesn’t go with the outfit.” 

Rebecca Romijn, the other guest judge in addition to Santino, said, “I think you’re giving us hot futuristic space mom who loves Hello Kitty.” 

Katya raised her arms up into the air. ‘ _How the fuck did she get that?_ ’

“Was that it?” 

“Get out of my head!” Katya smiled. “So, 1960s stunt woman coerced into prostitution on her way to fashion week.” As they stared at her, any joy Katya felt started to slip away. ‘They totally think I’m a complete freak.’ 

Santino looked at Katya, a little confused, before he spoke. “I think you could have taken it even further and gotten your point of view across a lot better.” 

“Thank you, Katya,” Rupaul said, ending Katya’s critique. 

After Rupaul released them for Untucked, Katya felt like a dead queen walking. When they entered the lounge, Katya, Pearl, and Violet sat on the gold couch while Ginger and Kennedy made themselves comfortable on the tall chairs behind the couch. 

“Well, bitch,” Kennedy said, “I know I’m lip syncing.” 

“Uh huh,” Katya nodded, “same here.” 

“Katya,” Ginger said, changing the subject, “what has been your most challenging moment?” 

“I think it happened, I think it happened last night.” Katya looked down at her hands. “That was the worst, I mean, I’ve had,” Katya chuckled, “there have been a lot of moments where I have felt really, really bad. Uh, but last night, I, um, I think I had a panic attack.” 

Violet’s eyes widened as her mouth fell open. “Oh, no.” 

“And it was one of those things where, like…” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ginger stared at Katya with her head tilted to the side and concern shining in her eyes. “Girl, that’s what I do, I do panic attacks.” 

“Girl,” Kennedy began, “you got to understand that right now, we are your support group. You can’t be going through things like that by yourself if it’s that serious.” 

Katya nodded. “I know.” 

Ginger stood up from her chair and walked around the couch when she got Katya’s attention on her. “As much as I love everybody, Katya, you’re my best friend here, and I’m there to help you with,” Ginger glanced Violet right before she sat down next to her – Violet didn’t even pay attention since she had her own eyes focused on looking at Katya, “whatever.” 

“The competition has been so hard in such a way that I didn’t expect.” Katya took a deep breath. “I feel like, honestly, I feel like a baby saying it, but…” 

Violet smirked at the opening. “Well, yeah.” 

Katya tilted her head as she looked back at Violet with an incredulous expression on her face. ‘ _Really, bitch?_ ’ “You know what you can suck? My whole dick.” 

Violet’s eyes widened as her mouth fell open. “Can we please?” 

“You ready for a dick in your mouth?” Katya smiled as she forgot for a moment her stress. 

Violet threw her head back. “I’m, like, finally!” Seeing Katya smile again lifted Violet’s spirits so much. She was so glad that she got to put a smile back on Katya’s face, even if only for a moment. 

“Okay,” Ginger rubbed Violet’s shoulder to get her attention back to the subject at hand – she really didn’t want to even think about what they could get up to in some corner of their shared working space if given half a chance – and asked in a soft, almost patronizing voice, “so what had been you most difficult moment?” 

Violet sighed. “My most difficult moment was really feeling like I had no one in the world to talk to.” Katya glanced at her knees. “Like, I literally felt like everyone hated me. I kind of had a mini-breakdown in the beginning because everyone thought I was this rotted cunt, and, I mean, I kinda am that…” 

Katya smirked as she got up from her seat and walked around the back of the couch to stand behind Pearl, which was closer to Violet. Violet had just given her her own opening. “You’re just a regular cunt.” 

“But not rotted.” 

Ginger brushed Violet’s hair out of her face. “No, we thought you had a rotted cunt. That’s totally different.” 

Violet rolled her eyes with a smile. “Whatever. So…” 

“Well, you smell like a rotted cunt, bitch.” Katya saw Violet’s mouth fall open. “Yeah, you do.” 

“Bitch, I am so ripe.” Violet raised her arm up, uncaring if it annoyed the rest of them. They all rank in their own way; she just might have forgotten to wear deodorant…again. 

Ginger pushed Violet’s arm down. “You are so ripe. This is, this is not actually Rupaul’s Drag Race, this is an intervention.” Violet and Katya broke into laughter. “Well, I just want to say,” Ginger placed her hand back on Violet’s shoulder, “I did not hate you at the beginning. I hate you now, but in the beginning,” Violet dropped her head as she chuckled, “in the beginning, when you first walked in, I thought, ‘Oh that bitch is going home soon,’ but once I saw what you were doing, I was, ‘Oh, this fucking cunt…She’s gonna be here awhile.’” 

Violet grinned. “I’ll take that. I’ll say,” Violet’s smile faded, “when I came in, it was all about competition.” Violet pounded her fist into her hand while Katya sat down on the back of the couch as she listened to Violet talk. She loved Violet’s voice; it relaxed her like nothing else. “I remember being, like, ‘Bitch, game face. You need to be confident and strong and show strength,’ and maybe that wasn’t the best concept.” 

“No!” Katya shook her head as she leaned towards Violet. She held onto Pearl’s shoulder to keep herself from falling over. “That has been, that had been your greatest asset! Are you kidding me? That is the thing I admire about you so much. Bitch, you are in,” Katya snapped her fingers, “it,” she snapped her fingers again, “to,” and again, “win,” and again, “it.” 

Violet lifted her arm up in a muscle pose with a smile at Katya for a minute before she leaned back into her seat with a relaxed smile on her face. Ginger grinned at Violet as she rubbed her hand on Violet’s shoulder, and her hand slid to just underneath Violet’s top.

“Oh, my God, stop,” Violet pushed Ginger’s hand away and brought her own hand up to where Ginger’s had been rubbing. “That felt really good.” Katya smirked at the new knowledge she was just given, and Violet noticed Katya’s smirk and gave her a warning glare, though it looked more like a puppy-glare than a fierce full grown predator with laser eyes like Katya had seen Violet give earlier in the competition. 

“Anyway, should we just have a quick orgy?” Pearl asked. 

Violet turned to Ginger when Katya’s smirk just grew wider. “Can we just have a moment?” Violet asked as she lifted her leg for Ginger to rub her crotch over her thick outfit. As Pearl continued to talk about relieving the sexual tension, she turned to him, but while she meant to say something to him, with Katya sitting right next to him, what came out instead was, “Katya, fuck me.” Violet’s eyes widened. “I mean…” Ginger, Pearl, and Kennedy all laughed at her slip, which made Violet blush, but watching Katya grin made it all worth it. “Fuck.” 

After they all went through the rounds of talking about their hardest moments of the competition, Violet and Katya made their way over to the vanity while Pearl and Ginger went outside for a smoke. Violet watched as Katya stretched by kicking her legs out in battements.

“Ooh, girl, it’s gonna be a show down.” 

Katya sighed. “No, I’m just gonna give it… I’m too tired.” 

“Shut up! Shut up. I’m over you defeating yourself before you’ve even gotten to the fucking battle.” ‘ _Don’t you dare fucking give up right now. I need you here with me._ ’ 

“No, no, I’m gonna do my best.” 

“Seriously. You need to realize your talent.” 

Katya shrugged as her eyes fell to Violet’s shoulder.

Violet grabbed Katya’s hands. “Look at me. This is me being real…” Katya looked at Violet with a goofy and obsessed expression on her face to distract Violet from her going home, which made Violet crack up just like Katya had hoped. Katya grinned back at her. “But real– Woah!” Violet stumbled in her heels and nearly fell into Katya. 

“Ah! See, look at what happens when you get real, bitch!” 

Violet raised her hands in defeat as she smiled back at Katya. “But really,” she lowered her arms, “you are so amazing.” Katya gave her a half smile and nod, but before she could reply, production called them to the Main Stage. Violet leaned in and gave Katya a quick peck on her jaw, the other side that time and in pink lipstick, and she whispered, “For luck.” Katya smiled, and they both headed back out together. 

“Welcome back, ladies. Based on your Hello Kitty presentations, I’ve made some decisions.” Rupaul announced that Pearl was safe and then put Kennedy up for elimination. 

“Violet Chachki,” Violet looked up with a smile peaking from the corners of her lips, “this week, you were a real glamour-pus. Condragulations, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.” 

‘ _Well goddamn deserved._ ’ Violet looked over to the side as she walked back to stand behind the stage and saw Katya applauding her win. She looked so proud of her, and she made Violet want to do even better. ‘ _Fight. You have to stay._ ’ 

Rupaul then announced that Ginger was safe, as expected. “Katya, I’m sorry, but you are up for elimination.” Katya nodded. She knew it was coming. “Two queens stand before me. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time had come to lip sync for your life. Good luck, and don’t fuck it up.” 

As Katya lip synced, she put all of her emotion into the song, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kennedy pulling out all the stops with kicks and twirls, and when she noticed that Kennedy had jumped off the stage in what she assumed was a split, she knew she was finished. Done for. She had no chance. 

The song ended, and Katya and Kennedy stood on the stage.

“Ladies, I have made my decision. Kennedy Davenport, shantay, you stay. Bitches better beware.” 

Katya nodded to herself as Rupaul told Kennedy that she could leave the stage. She’d be okay. 

“Katya, you may doubt yourself sometimes, but I have no doubt that you are a star,” Katya smiled, “and a hammer, and a sickle.” 

Katya chuckled at the reference even as her hand ghosted over her mark when Rupaul had mentioned sickle. ‘ _When are we going to have our talk now?_ ’ 

“Now, sashay away.” 

Katya nodded, and she couldn’t even remember what she said to Rupaul. She hoped it was good. Instead, when she turned to walk back, all she could remember were the tears that glistened in Violet’s eyes. ‘ _Stay strong._ ’

When Katya stepped off the stage, Violet closed her eyes tight.‘ _Icy shell, icy shell. No feeling. This is not going to affect me_.’ Violet pushed back her tears and put up her walls. 

When they stepped backstage, Violet saw that Ginger wasn’t even trying to hide her emotions; she had to ask for a tissue to dab at her eyes as tears escaped, and when they entered the workroom after Katya had cleared out her things, Ginger still had tears glistening in her eyes. There was no way Violet would let the cameras catch that amount of weakness from her. No way.  

_Девочки! Я вас любитЬ! If you need me, you know where to find me. (The dumpster out back) XOXO Katya AKA The Brooke Hogan of drag AKA Diarrhea Perlman ♥♥♥._

As Kennedy laughed at Katya’s humor, Violet couldn’t help but feel bitter over Kennedy’s attitude. She sent Katya home, and it was her fault Ginger was upset and why Violet needed to rebuild her walls to hide behind. Her entire body became tense as she held her hands still to prevent them from turning into fists.

Kennedy then turned to Violet. “Girl, congratulations, Miss Violet, next!” 

Violet rolled her eyes, though she felt a little lighter when Pearl came for her defense. “Kennedy Davenport, your Hello Kitty was a Hell No Kitty.” 

“This is not a sewing competition.” 

“Ya’ll knew you had to sew, and what the fuck did you do?” ‘ _They have one every fucking season. Get it together, and don’t fucking complain. I didn’t fucking whine about all the crappy acting challenges._ ’ 

As they got into an argument over the validity of a sewing, they could all see the lines being divided amongst them clearer than ever with the Bitter Old Lady Brigade on one and Violet and Pearl, the pretty ones, on the other. Katya’s loss affected them all so much; she somehow bonded them all together. They separated to change, and the cameras started to get packed away. 

When Violet got to her things, though, she saw Cheryl sitting on top of her luggage with a note. Her breath hitched. Violet bent down and reached forward, but she hesitated. She knew she needed to read it, but she felt nervous. What would it say? Violet closed her eyes and took a couple slow breaths, and when she opened them, she picked up Cheryl in one hand and the note in the other. 

_Hey, принцесса!_

_So, apparently I fucked up. Sorry! Anyway, even though I didn’t make it to the final three like you planned, you still can. You’ve got that crown in your sights, and don’t let it go, and don’t you dare hide yourself behind any sort of icy wall, you bitch._

Violet’s breath hitched as she chuckled at Katya’s accuracy. ‘ _Hold it together. Hold it together. Hold it the fuck together, Chachki._ ’

_You’ve got this, so stay strong. I’ve left Cheryl with you, so you better take fucking good care of her because I want her back in one piece._

Violet nodded as she brought Cheryl close to her chest. Her vision blurred. 

_We’ll have our talk once you finish filming. You can choose the location – Boston or Hotlanta. Haha!_

Violet shook her head as a wet chuckle escaped her mouth. 

_Here’s my number. Call me as soon as you can. I already miss you, принцесса (“Princess”)._

Violet’s breathing had become ragged as she read the letter, and she brought Cheryl to her face to hide her tears.

From across the room, Ginger watched as Violet picked up a piece of paper and Katya’s coonskin cap. She watched as Violet’s back hitched, and when she crumpled to the floor, Ginger stopped undressing and made her way over. Even though Violet annoyed her most of the time, she was everything to Katya and Ginger’s only real connection to her best friend. 

Ginger kneeled down next to Violet, half out of drag while Violet still had on everything except for her cone of shame. “Come here.” Ginger reached an arm over and pulled Violet into her chest and felt hot tears land on her bare chest while the rough fur of the coonskin cap rubbed against her while she let herself cry into Violet’s wig. 

They didn’t notice the cameramen pick up their cameras and zoom in on them.


	14. And the Rest Is Drag

Katya left the studio alone in the van with all her luggage in the back seat instead of other girls. She hoped that leaving Cheryl behind was the right choice. Nothing she could do about it now, but she still hoped it helped Violet. Katya knew Violet had everything in her to make it to the top three, so she really hoped that her leaving when Violet had talked again and again over them being in the top three wouldn’t affect her negatively over the next couple of days.

When she got to her hotel room and lay down in bed, she wished she had something to hold onto other than a generic pillow since she had left Cheryl behind. Part of her wished she had something of Violet’s, something with that lavender scent, but she didn’t. She had nothing, not even a slip of paper with a phone number she could clutch in her hand. All Katya could do was hope that Violet would call her as soon as she got her phone back. 

Katya closed her eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep as dreams of Violet just tossing Katya’s phone number away spun through her mind. She twisted herself into her bedsheets from tossing and turning throughout the night so much that when she got up to pee, she just about fell out of bed and just caught herself from landing on her face. Her fear over Violet not calling her resulting in deep dark bags under her eyes the next morning for _Whatcha Packin’?_ with Michelle Visage.

Katya swallowed back a yawn while Michelle made her introduction to the web show, and she pasted on a tired yet genuine smile when Michelle turned to face her on the bed.

“I want to know how that character started for you – Katya, the Russian girl who we didn’t see until she was Hello Kitty’s BFF.” 

Katya bent over until her head hit the bedspread as her shoulders shook from laughter. ‘ _It’s so true!_ ’ She had kept that character she had auditioned with out of nearly all the challenges. 

Michelle pursed her lips as she tried to hold back a smile. “Explain that.” 

Katya sat back up to look at Michelle. “So,” Katya cleared her throat, “it’s how I started doing drag. I started in this wacko drag–” 

“In Siberia?” 

Katya threw her head back and laughed for a couple seconds. “No,” she said as she regained control of herself, “in this wacko drag show, and I created this Russian character – I was taking Russian language lessons – and I got booked in this show, and I did all my songs in Russian and did the whole Russian accent, um, and it just kinda stuck.” 

“And was your name always Katya?” 

“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova.” 

“Yes, that’s what I was going to say.” Katya could see the corners of Michelle’s lips twitch up as she tried to hold back a grin. Michelle then tilted her head as she switched subjects. “What was your best moment?” 

‘ _Well, definitely not saying anything about Violet. Really don’t need that to bite her on the ass during her last couple of days. Plus, I still have no clue how we’ll even end up._ ’ Katya knew that the producers would do everything they could to milk a storyline out of Violet in the next couple of days if they were given even the smallest chance, especially if it involved Katya whom they had already sent home. She had to pick a challenge. “Um, hands down, the John Waters screen-test.” 

Michelle nodded. “You were so good.” 

“It was so much fucking fun.” 

They talked about the handful of clothes Katya had laid out for Michelle to look at, and then Michelle asked the next question. “So, what’s next for Katya?” 

“Um…” Katya chewed on her lip. 

“Are you going to go home and have your visit?” 

“I’m going to go home and sleep for a week and then have sex for two weeks straight.” ‘ _Here’s hoping at least._ ’ Thoughts of Violet in stockings and a garter belt with wrists tied with rope as she lay on Katya’s comfortable bed with eclectic bedsheets in her apartment popped into her head. 

Michelle grinned. “Ooh, nice!” She raised her eyebrow. “With your…husband?” 

Katya shook her head and bit her lip. “No, just…” ‘ _I don’t even know if that’s ever even going to happen._ ’ 

“Randoms?” 

‘ _Sure, let’s go with that so I can get out of this conversation._ ’ Katya nodded. “Random men in general. Seriously, watch out. No one is safe.” 

“Well,” Michelle smiled and placed her hand on top of Katya’s as a motherly gesture, “you were such a joy. Ru is such a big fan of yours as am I. We adored your journey and watching you go through this, and what I really loved about you, you were never really ever defensive. You were always just kinda, ‘Dammit.’ You know, frustrated at yourself, and I appreciated that.” 

Katya smiled, though she knew the main reason she never spoke up was because of the voice always reminding her of her failures. “Thank you. My pussy is crying tears of joy right now.” 

“I have panty liner.” Katya laughed. “Welcome to the family.” 

“Thank you, Mom.” 

They hugged as the producers called cut. Michelle and her chatted a little more as they packed up the equipment while Katya packed away her outfits she had laid out for Michelle to look at. 

“So, I’m sure you’ve made some close friends during these last few weeks.”

Katya nodded. “Uh huh.” 

“Anyone in particular?”

Katya glanced at Michelle who stared back at her with shrewd eyes that had been in the business long enough to know where a story hid. “I feel like I became close to all the girls. They’re my new sisters after all.”

Michelle tilted her head to the side. “I heard you left a note behind for a certain someone…” Michelle trailed off.

Katya felt her breath catch in her throat. ‘ _Play it cool, play it cool._ ’ “Yeah. I just wanted to thank Violet for being so supportive during that last challenge with me freaking out and stuff. Even if it didn’t help me get a decent runway look pulled together, I appreciated it a lot. She’s just grown a whole lot as a person during this competition,” Katya realized she was starting to ramble and cut herself off, “and stuff.” 

Michelle stared at Katya, and Katya held her breath until Michelle nodded. “That’s good to hear.” While Michelle said that, Katya knew that Michelle knew that there was more Katya wasn’t telling, and she also knew that Michelle knew that Katya wouldn’t spill anything more on her relationship with Violet. It still remained an unknown to the producers searching for a story. 

Violet was safe.

–

While Katya did her _Whatcha Packin’?_ interview, the four remaining queens had learned their choreography for Rupaul’s “Born Naked” music video and were now in the process of memorizing their lines for their acting challenge while one by one, they were called back to have their tic-tac lunch with Rupaul. Michelle had warned them when she announced the challenge presented to them that whoever got eliminated would be cut and edited out of the final video, so they felt more pressure than ever before to nail every aspect of the challenge. 

Kennedy was the first of them to be called back, and while she was gone, Pearl, Ginger, and Violet went over the scripts. 

Ginger then looked up at Pearl and Violet, mainly at Violet who had had some difficulty in picking up the choreography from earlier. “You know, I had fun actually doing the choreography.”

Violet lifted her eyes to look at Ginger with a small smile. She had felt so incredibly grateful to her the other evening after Katya’s elimination. 

“I want to do well and go to the top three, so I’m excited to do it.” 

Violet nodded. “I’m so excited. I mean, obviously learning choreo is not my strong suit,” Violet rolled her eyes, “but I think I’ve got it.” 

Ginger raised her eyebrow. “But you were having trouble with the choreo, and you’ve also been clocked for your acting in the past. Does that scare you at all?” 

‘ _What are you trying to even say?_ ’ Violet scrunched her brows. “I mean, not really. I’ve obviously pushed through it every single time.” 

“But, like, it’s now at the point where you can’t just push through. What’s your approach that you’re taking other than ‘I’m just going to push through it?’” 

Violet dropped her script on top of the table as the cameras honed in on their little spat while Pearl’s eyes just darted back and forth between them. “I’m just going to enjoy the fact that I’m fucking top four. I’m here to win it, and any issues I have going into it, I’m just going to work it out like I’ve been doing the entire season.” ‘ _What the fuck is her problem right now?_ ’ When Ginger rolled her eyes and went back to her script, Violet just let out a breath before she returned to her own. She’d show her. She’d show them all that she could push through and give a good performance. 

When Kennedy returned and Ginger left to take her turn with Rupaul, Pearl placed his script down and lifted his hands up so he could rest his sleepy looking face on them. The movement caused Violet to look up from her own script full of lines that she felt she had memorized by that point, and she raised her eyebrow in question.

Pearl smirked. “So, whatcha wearin’, Pumpkin?” 

Violet smiled. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to do a gown. Ugh,” Violet curled her lip, “that seems so, like, typical.” 

Pearl tilted his head. “Like not enough?” 

“Yeah.” 

Pearl hopped off his stool and motioned for Violet to follow him. “Come on.” 

Violet followed Pearl to his suitcases that he had begun to pack with the clothes he no longer planned to wear or had already worn, and he bent down to pull out a couple of sheer robes, one of which he handed to Violet with a smirk. 

Violet held the robe in front of her with a smile. “How many times have you got fucked in this?” 

“Once or twice.” Pearl winked.

Violet threw her head back and laughed. At Pearl’s motion, Violet slipped the robe on over her clothes and spun around in the light and airy fabric. The two played dress up until Violet got called back for her own lunch with Rupaul. The childlike antics Pearl encouraged felt like a respite from her concerns over their final challenge and Katya’s elimination. 

As Violet turned the corner, she smile when she saw Rupaul in full drag in a shimmery green gown that Michelle probably hated. “Hi.” 

“Violet, Darling.” Rupaul gestured for Violet to take a seat and placed a tic tac on Violet’s plate. “So, when you auditioned for the show, how far did you imagine yourself coming?” 

Violet placed her hands in her lap like a proper young lady when she sat down, and she grinned at Rupaul’s question. “Oh, the winner.” Rupaul laughed, though Violet was dead serious. “The crown. Girl.” 

“Now,” Rupaul cocked his head, “where did you get this confidence because you’ve got a lot of it?” 

Violet glanced down at her plate as her smile fell from her face and took in a short breath. ‘ _Don’t give them anything they could turn into a cheap story._ ’ She looked back up and met Rupaul’s eyes. “Just growing up, I was put on the back burner for sure. My sister kinda had a lot of stuff she was going through, so I always had to be my own support system, my own biggest fan.” 

“Well, it sounds kind of lonely. There’s really no shoulder for Violet to cry on.” 

“Besides my own.” A smirk appeared back on Violet’s face. ‘ _You’re not getting me that easy._ ’ 

Rupaul chuckled. “Right. And that’s what is sounds like you’ve been in this competition ’cause you won Shadiest Queen. Remember?” 

Violet grinned. “Did I?” 

“Did that hurt your feelings at all?” 

Violet grimaced for a second. “Kind of, but I knew that wasn’t the case. You know, I was, ‘Okay, I need to work harder to show these girls who I really am.’” 

“And did you?”

Violet tilted her head to the side as she furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Did you show the girls who you really are?”

Violet frowned a little as she tried to figure out what angle Rupaul was going for. “I’d like to think so.”

“Have you made any…special relationships with anyone?”

Violet felt her chest get tight. ‘ _No one knows anything. It’s fine. It’s just a natural progression of the conversation._ ’ “I mean, I feel like I’ve made friends with all of the girls – some closer than others, of course.”

Rupaul squinted his eyes, and Violet felt like a fly trying to weave around a spider’s web, trying to avoid getting caught in the sticky material. “Well, a little birdie told me that you seem to have created a really close relationship with a certain queen.”

‘ _What? Shit, fuck, shit. They can’t know. How would they even know?_ ’ “W-what do you mean?” Violet made sure to keep her face carefully blank.

“I heard that you had a bit of a breakdown yesterday in another queen’s arms. Care to explain?”

“Just…stress. The competition just became really real yesterday, you know? But I’m completely focused now on the rest of the competition.” 

Rupaul raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

Violet nodded with a small smile. “Yep.”

Rupaul’s eyes looked as though they didn’t quite believe her but still knew that Violet wouldn’t reveal anything more. Rupaul took a breath and changed the course of the conversation. “I know you’re only twenty-two, and you think, ‘Well, sure, this is nothing. A lot of people have this.’ Let me tell you, a lot of people don’t have it. You are really special.” A small smile grew on Violet’s lips. “A lot of people will take the rest of their lives to get to where you already are.” 

Violet’s voice came out barely more than a whisper. “Thank you so much, Ru.” ‘ _I’m winning this. For me, and for Katya._ ’ 

–

While the four remaining queens filmed their dancing and acting scenes, Katya sat in an airport. Alone. She fiddled with her fingers and tapped at her phone. While she was glad to finally have her phone back and access to her friends, she had no idea who to even call first. They’d probably ask if she made it to the end, had filming wrapped, did she know anyone, would they recognize anyone, did anyone know her. Katya wouldn’t even be say anything, not according to the contract she had signed.

While she sat in the airport, a new fear rose up in her. What would the Drag Race fans think of her? Would they even like her? What would she do if they hated her, if they couldn’t get her humor? She had to start planning on how she could win their hearts as soon as possible, before the cast was revealed. 

What would Violet think of her if fans detested her? 

‘Stupid.’ Katya mentally smacked herself in the head. ‘ _Violet wouldn’t give a fuck. I need to remember: WWVD – What Would Violet Do? The answer: not give a fuck._ ’ Katya knew that Violet wouldn’t let haters get her down, and if their talk went well, she felt that Violet would have her back regardless of anyone sending hate either of their ways. 

Katya took a breath and closed her eyes as she waited for boarding for her flight to be called. 

–

The next day, after a long, long day of filming, choreography rehearsals, dancing screen tests, and acting with Rupaul, they all felt incredibly relieved to only have one more day of filming the television show before they were freed and got to go back home. Violet couldn’t wait to get her hands on her phone so she could call Katya. 

At the vanities, Ginger glanced over at Violet and Pearl. She cleared her throat, and Pearl and Violet looked over at her from their mirrors. “I wanna know you’re very first impressions on that first day.” 

Violet grinned as she looked over at Pearl. “Pearl, when she first came in and was, ‘Um, I have a face chin on and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.’ I was like, ‘This stupid bitch is…’” 

Pearl chuckled while she applied her contouring. “‘She’s stoned.’”

Violet laughed. “‘She’s high as a kite out of her mind,’ so I guess, you know, my first impression of Pearl was spot on.” 

Pearl laughed and shoved Violet’s shoulder, which just caused Violet to laugh with Pearl. 

‘ _Thank God I still have this stupid bitch here with me._ ’ 

Once their laughter died down, Kennedy spoke up. “Violet, my first impression of you is that, I mean, you was full of yourself.” Violet looked over at Kennedy out of the corner of her eye. “Has that changed? No, it hasn’t because you haven’t let it die down, so I do respect you, but I still think you’re full of yourself.”

‘ _Really?_ ’ Violet rolled her eyes as she worked on her foundation.

“I just think that you are too young to take on this type of responsibility.” 

“I agree with Kennedy,” Ginger said, and Violet leaned away from the mirrors to give Ginger her full attention. “It’s a level of maturity that I don’t think you have reached yet.” Violet furrowed her brows. “This is a job title. I mean, this is not just, ‘Here’s a check and a crown and have fun.’ You’ve got to be an ambassador for Rupaul’s Drag Race.” 

Kennedy then continued for Ginger, “You are a representative, and I don’t feel like you been in this game long enough to know how to step out of Violet and be professional about it in certain situations. You’re not there yet.” 

Violet took a couple of low, deep breaths. She didn’t understand why they were coming for her, especially on their last day when Pearl and her had thought they were just having fun reminiscing about their first day when they all met each other for the first time. Apparently, Ginger and Kennedy didn’t have exactly fond feelings for her, and here Violet had thought that Ginger actually gave a shit about her. She took another breath. ‘ _Maybe they do, though, and this is just how they are. A bit patronizing and abrasive as fuck, but maybe they do have a point. I do need to work on how I present myself sometimes._ ’ 

After taking a moment to take in their words, Violet nodded. “Okay, I understand more of what you’re saying.” Violet leaned back in towards her mirror, away from everyone else, to focus on finishing her paint job. She was quieter than before, but her face needed be flawless.

Ginger leaned away from Violet as she went back to her own mirror. “You don’t want to be known as being a bitch. That’s it.” 

Pearl leaned in to Violet and smirked. “We’ve got the bitter old lady brigade to help guide us.” 

Violet smiled back at Pearl, glad she still had him with her at least. 

Out on the Main Stage, Violet felt confident in her look. She pulled off a new silhouette for the judges, a nod to _Victor, Victoria_ , and she knew she stood out next to the pageant queens in their pageant gowns and big hair, though she had to chuckle when Pearl pulled out a bigger wig that either Ginger or Kennedy. 

“Welcome, ladies,” Rupaul said as he looked at them all. “I couldn’t be more happy to see my kids succeed, and you really did.” 

Violet allowed a soft smile to fall on her lips, at least until Rupaul pulled out a childhood photograph of Kennedy. ‘ _Shit. Are they seriously aiming for even more fucking water works?_ ’ 

“Violet,” Rupaul pulled out a photo of Violet in her bumblebee Halloween costume, and Violet couldn't help but chuckle a the ridiculous picture they must have gotten from her parents, “here’s a photo of you when you were four years old. What would Violet Chachki have to say to little Jason?” 

“Um,” Violet glanced at the floor before she looked back at Rupaul with the picture of her smiling in that hideous yet adorable bumblebee costume, “I would tell him to try and have more patience with everybody, especially with your parents, and you just need to know how special you are, and, you know, really bask in moments of weakness and find strength in them, and push through everything,” Violet smiled as she thought of how Katya would turn everything into a joke, “and get to a goddamn ballet class as fast as you can.” 

Rupaul chuckled as he thanked her before he moved onto Ginger, and Violet allowed her mind to wander a little. Katya would have made a great speech and would have had them all rolling in laughter by the end of it. Violet hoped Katya would like hers when it finally aired on television.

“Ladies,” Violet jerked as Rupaul pulled her back from her thoughts, “the winners of this week’s challenge will move on to the top three, and one of you will be going home. Ladies, final question: why should you, and not your competitors, be crowned America’s Next Drag Superstar?” 

When Kennedy spoke about how she didn’t believe that Violet or Pearl could “condone” themselves, Violet clenched her jaw tight. ‘ _Of course. Be better than that, Chachki. You are better than that._ ’

Rupaul then turned to Violet. Violet smiled. “I already feel that I am America’s Next Drag Superstar, and I’ve been telling myself that for a really long time now. I’ve always looked up to myself. The only validation I’ve ever looked for, you know, is from the show,” Violet took a quick breath as she thought of Kennedy, Ginger, and Pearl, “and I mean, as far as my competitors go, I honestly feel like I do represent the past, the present, but more than anything, the future.” 

Violet felt good about her speech. She kept it light and positive. At least, she felt good until Ginger started to speak about her.  

“Violet has the shortest temper I’ve ever seen.”

‘ _What?_ ’ Violet caught her breath. ‘ _These people don’t know me. Maybe I don’t know them._ ‘ Violet looked out in front of her, yet her eyes could not focus on anything. She really thought she and Ginger had some sort of understanding. Apparently not. ‘ _Maybe I just know myself._ ’

Once Rupaul dismissed them, they walked into the Untucked room in silence. 

“Cocktails have been calling my name, honey,” Kennedy said, breaking the silence, as she picked up her glass. 

Violet and Pearl didn’t say anything as they made themselves comfortable in the middle of the sectional. Violet just stared at her drink as she took small sips through the straw. She really wished Katya was there. She’d liven up the room. She always could make anything seem better, and she wouldn’t have resorted to throwing anyone under the bus, at least not without making it come across as a joke where one couldn’t help but laugh with her instead of ever feeling offended.

Ginger plopped herself down on the end of the couch next to Violet. “That was rough.” 

Pearl looked up at Ginger from his own glass and waited a beat. “It was rough.” 

“But it’s over,” Kennedy said as she leaned back into the couch cushion. “Come what may, you know?” 

Violet stirred her cocktail with her straw. She watched the ice clink together. ‘ _Why did they have to throw us under the bus like that? Fuck. I thought…_ ’ Violet closed her eyes for a moment. ‘ _Doesn’t matter what I thought. I just want to go home. I just want to be surrounded by all my things. Or maybe I’ll just go straight to Boston? I don’t even know. I’m just done._ ’ 

Ginger stared at Violet and brushed a hand against her shoulder, which made Violet jerk in surprise. Luckily, she didn’t spill her drink. “You alright, girl?” 

Pearl looked over at Violet. “Yeah, what are you thinking about?” 

Violet shrugged as she continued to stare at her glass. “I’m just trying to process everything. I just need to, like, replay everything.” She closed her eyes and took a breath. “I just need to chill and process, you know, what’s happening.” 

Ginger sighed. “Okay, so let’s talk about our answers to the question,” Violet looked over at Ginger, “just so we can put it out there, talk it out, and get over it.” Ginger and Kennedy then went back and forth over why they said what they did.

“Everything I said, I’ve already said.” 

“I didn’t want to say anything against you guys.” 

“I don’t think it helps them make a decision.” 

“What didn’t help was how you two had each other’s back but just threw the two of us under the bus,” Pearl said from his corner. 

“But that’s how I feel.” 

As the three of them bickered, Violet just wanted to disappear into the cushions. She didn’t like to raise her voice to be heard, so she just stayed quiet. ‘ _I wish Katya was here. I don’t like feeling like this. She’d make everything better._ ’ “I just don’t want to feel this way anymore.” 

Violet didn’t realize that she had spoken the last part aloud at first until she realized that everyone had fallen silent as they stared at her. She swallowed back some saliva and reiterated, “I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.” Now that Violet had their attention, she decided to use it. “I just don’t think drag queens should be put against each other in a competitive nature.” 

Ginger tilted her head to the side. “Then why the fuck are you on Rupaul’s Drag Race?”  

“I mean, I just don’t like it.” Violet found herself curling in on herself, and while she couldn’t stand the thought of looking weak, she really just wanted to hide from the world at that moment. From them. She just needed a break. Everything had become so overwhelming over the last couple of days. She learned that Katya was her soulmate, she had to watch Katya get eliminated, and now she had Ginger and Kennedy saying that she didn’t deserve to win. “Before this episode, before we went out and said all that shit, I liked all of you, and now I don’t.” 

Ginger leaned away from her, taken aback. “You don’t like us?” She asked, her voice soft. 

“I don’t like… I miss my friends now.” 

“We’re still your friends.” 

“I know.” Violet sighed. “I’m just saying it’s the competitive shit, and…” 

“It’s just like a regular beauty pageant,” Kennedy interrupted. 

Ginger nodded her head like Violet should have known better. “And it’s nothing we haven’t said to you before.” 

Violet leaned into the couch cushion and took a quick, calming breath. “Can I just finish my thought?” 

Ginger sighed. “Yes. Please do.” 

“I just prefer drag queens to be artists and to appreciate each other’s art. Artists should not compete with each other. I don’t do drag to compare myself to other people. I do drag for me, and that’s it.” 

When Violet finished her statement, Ginger and Kennedy backed off of her, but then it seemed like they then went in on Pearl, and the shouting just made Violet want to clam up and made Pearl flee to the outside, away from everyone. 

After Pearl left for a relaxing cigarette and Kennedy and Ginger finished their row with each other, Ginger looked over at Violet who had remained curled up on the couch.

“Violet, can I talk to you for a second?”

Violet looked up at Ginger. “Sure.” She unfolded herself and stood up to follow Ginger over to the vanities where she then crossed her arms.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize.”

Violet shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“No, I mean, I’ve been taking out my frustration over Katya’s elimination out on you.”

“And you don’t think I’m upset by her elimination?” Violet’s eyes widened.

Ginger shook her head and placed her hands on Violet’s arms and rubbed her fingers against Violet’s smooth skin. “No, no, that isn’t it at all, girl. I just, I just miss her, and she should be here.”

Violet’s breath hitched, but she pushed her feelings aside. “She should.”

“I never should have taken it out on you. I should have known better, but, just, part of me blamed you.”

“Me?” Violet’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“I don’t even know. I’m just, I’m sorry.”

Violet gave Ginger a small smile. “It’s good.”

“Come here.” Ginger pulled Violet into a hug before they headed back to the couch with Kennedy. “I love you, Violet. I just want you to know that.” 

“I love everyone here, you know? But I love myself a lot more.” 

Kennedy, who heard them came back, scoffed. “Yeah, we know.” 

Ginger rolled her eyes and shoved Violet’s shoulder as Violet fell back into the couch cushion “We know!” 

–

In Boston the next day, Katya had just finished getting lunch with her friends and was heading back to her apartment to crash again. She hadn’t lied to Michelle; Drag Race really had exhausted her and she really did plan to basically sleep for a week. As she walked down the familiar street, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She stopped to pull it out – she didn’t need to crash into anyone while looking at her phone. She knew her limitations and walking and talking was one of them. When she saw the unfamiliar number, her heart jumped into her throat. 

She swiped the Accept Call button. “Hello?” 


	15. The End

_“Hello?”_

–

The day after the final four had wrapped filming for the main show – they had to film four different endings with all of them shantaying away – and their Watcha Packin’? interviews with Michelle, the producers finally gave them back their now dead phones. Violet sighed when they handed her back her phone; she had wanted to use it immediately. Instead, she had to plug it in, and she set it on top of Katya’s note that she had read over and over again – she often read it before bed with Cheryl on her lap since Katya’s elimination. Once the phone turned on after a few minutes, she reached for it, eager to call the number she had actually memorized, and in this day and age, no one memorized phone numbers, so it really showed how many times she read the note. Before her hand reached the phone, however, a knock sounded at the door. 

“What is it now?” Violet rolled her eyes as she headed to the door. 

“We’re going to lunch, girl,” Ginger said as soon as Violet opened the door. 

“Uh…” Violet’s eyes darted from Ginger to Kennedy and Pearl who stood on either side of Ginger. 

Pearl’s eyes racked over Violet’s body. Violet raised her eyebrow as she crossed her arms, and Pearl scoffed as he pushed passed Ginger and Violet to go and sit on Violet’s bed. “We’re probably going to be here awhile since I doubt we could even get Violet out the door in that outfit.” He smirked. 

Violet rolled her eyes again, though she did take stock of her current wardrobe that consisted of underwear and an overlarge T-shirt. Her hair was a mess of a bun piled on top of her head. She gestured for Ginger and Kennedy to enter since they clearly were not going to let her even think abut declining their invitation to lunch as she headed over to her carryon that had her clothes she intended to travel in inside. 

As she pulled out her button-up and shorts, she asked, “So, where are we going?” 

Ginger smirked. “Oh, I was thinking Red Lobster.” 

Pearl and Kennedy laughed while Violet dropped her head as a few chuckles escaped her. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

Kennedy shook her head with a grin as she sat down next to Pearl. “No, you sure ain’t, girl.” 

“Seriously though,” Pearl said once their laughter died down, “we’re probably just going to grab a bite at the hotel’s restaurant since we only have a couple hours before they come to collect us.”

Ginger nodded. “I just thought it’d be a good way for the four of us to part ways. Especially after  that whole thing yesterday.” 

“K.” Violet nodded. “Just give me fifteen to get ready.” Violet then took her clothes into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. 

Unbeknownst to Violet, Pearl saw Katya’s note under her phone. “Lookie, lookie.” Pearl slid the note out from under Violet’s phone with a smirk on his face. “And look, she even got a number.” 

“Hand that over,” Ginger said as she grabbed Violet’s phone – like Violet, the other three had plugged their own phones in their hotel rooms to charge and left them there while they went out to grab some lunch. Pearl handed over the note, and Ginger grinned as she dialed the number. She put in on speaker, and the three of them listened as it rang once, twice, three times, and…

“Hello?” 

Katya held her breath as she stood on the sidewalk while she waited for a response.

“Well, hello there, my dear sweet friend. What are you doing on this fine day?” Ginger’s voice rang out.

Katya’s chest deflated. She had really hoped that it would have been Violet on the other end, and while she loved Ginger and viewed her as her best friend, nothing else compared to Violet. “Oh, nothing much. Just, you know, waiting on a call.” Katya leaned up against the side of a building to listen to Ginger. 

“Really? Whoever from?” Katya could hear distinctive laughter and giggles coming through the line, and they were not from Ginger.

“Wait, are Pearl and Kennedy there?”

“Hi, Katya.”

“What up?” 

A soft smile appeared on Katya’s lips. “So, if you’re all there, where’s–”

“Oh, my god, what the fuck are you doing with my phone?”

Violet had heard a little commotion outside the bathroom as she changed, but she had ignored it until she heard Kennedy say Katya’s name. When she opened the door, still in the process of buttoning up her shirt, she saw them all gathered around her phone, and she yelled at them. 

Ginger looked up and grinned at Violet. “Oh, we were just catching up with Katya. Did you know she’s waiting on a very important call? I think we need to let her go, right girls?” Kennedy and Pearl nodded, though Pearl had a hand over his mouth to muffle his giggles. “Okay, Katya, we’re gonna let you go so you can wait for that super special important call. Don’t be a stranger now.”

Violet marched over to them, forgetting about finishing buttoning up her shirt, and snatched the phone from Ginger before she could hang up. “You’re all assholes.” She turned off the speaker and pulled the phone up to her ear as she glared at the three of them, though none of them took it seriously by the smug looks on their faces. “Katya?” 

Katya had grinned as she listened to the commotion on the other end, and her heart fluttered when she heard Violet’s voice ring out clear after she took the phone from Ginger. “Yes, Princess?”

Violet rolled her eyes as she turned her back to the other queens, though she couldn’t prevent the smile from appearing on her face as she heard Katya’s voice again. “What have I told you about calling me that?” 

“That I shouldn’t.” 

“Then why do you do it?”

“Because it’s fun to rile you up.”

Violet chuckled into the phone. “What am I going to do with you?” Violet watched as Pearl, Kennedy, and Ginger made their way to the door, and Ginger held up two fingers to tell Violet she only had a couple of minutes before they would drag her to lunch, her conversation be damned, and Violet nodded.

“Hopefully come to Boston to put me in my place.” Violet could practically hear Katya’s smile through the phone. 

She bit her lip. “Actually, I was kinda planning on changing my flight…”

“Wait, really?” Katya stood up straighter as she brought her other hand up to hold the phone as well and to muffle the chaotic noises on the street. 

“Yeah.” 

Katya squealed as she did a happy dance in the middle of the sidewalk, which earned her a few annoyed looks and many confused ones.

Violet pulled her hair out of it’s bun while she listened to Katya squeal, and she started to twist a lock of hair with her free hand. “I mean, I probably won’t get there until really late, and I could just grab a hotel until morning.”

“No, not at all. I mean, unless that’s what you want, but I know I would much rather have you here because there is no way I’m going to be able to sleep knowing you’re in the same city as me.”

Violet smiled. “Okay.”

“Just give me your flight times, and I’ll pick you up.”

“No, no, I’ll just grab a cab.”

“It’s fine. I’ll pick you up.”

“It’s going to be really late. A cab would be so much easier.”

“It really wouldn’t be a problem for me.”

“Katya. Please?” Violet really didn’t know how their meet up would go, and she really didn’t want to get stuck in a car in an unknown city with Katya if something went wrong and they starting arguing. She had a volatile temper, and she knew it could really get her in trouble since she still felt so exhausted from filming. It would be best to meet somewhere they could each escape from before something blew up.

Katya sighed. “Okay. Okay. I’ll text you my address. Still, let me know your flight and text me any updates, okay?” 

Violet nodded even though Katya couldn’t see. “Of course.” Violet heard knocking on her door again. Her time was up. “Look, I’ve gotta go or they’re going to be obnoxious. I’ll text you later?”

“You better.” 

“Bye.” A small smile appeared on Violet’s lips.

“Bye.” An echoing grin spread across Katya’s own face.

Violet held the phone to her ear, just listening to Katya breathe, until the knock sounded again. “I’m coming! Bye again.” She hung up her phone, finished the last couple of buttons on her shirt, grabbed her wallet and hotel key, and left the room for lunch. 

The lunch went by smoothly. They joked about how awful it was to act like they had each lost and been eliminated from the final four. They discussed who they thought had the best likelihood   
of making it to the final three – Ginger and Violet with their three wins and Violet’s lack of a bottom two. The three of them teased Violet over Katya, and the ribbing just increased when Violet admitted her plan to change her flight from Atlanta to Boston. Ginger, with tears in her eyes, gushed over how excited she was to see her husband again. When lunch ended and they made their way back to their floor, they exchanged numbers and promises to keep in touch, and they each wrangled Katya’s number from Violet.

Ginger hugged Violet goodbye and whispered in her ear, “Make sure you keep me informed about you two. I need to know the minute you two become official, and you better have me in the wedding party.”

Violet chuckled in Ginger’s ear. “Of course, you bitch.” 

– 

Changing her tickets ended up not being nearly as difficult as Violet feared, though her new flight now landed at ten at night rather than an acceptable eight. She spent her time waiting browsing through Instagram pictures and catching up with her friends via text and texted Katya every random thought she had. She took pictures of some of the oddly dressed travelers and sent them to Katya and joked that that should be Katya’s next outfit.

 **Text from Violet** :   
Seriously. It’ll be your best look so far. I mean, you're so funny and campy and comedic, but you don't look funny, campy, and comedic.

 **Text from Katya** :  
It's a sneak attack.

 **Text from Violet** :   
You look fucking glamorous and high fashion and beautiful and couture.

 **Text from Katya** :  
Oh my god, I'm getting a boner. Keep going, keep going.

 **Text from Violet** :   
With a campy twist on it. And it works so well. I think that's why you're so unique. I think you are hilarious and campy and beautiful and funny all at the same time.

After Violet boarded the plane, she made her goodbyes to Katya and promised to see her in a few hours. She closed her eyes, yet sleep seemed to evade her for the entire duration of the trip. She was going to see Katya again. Too many feelings soared through her for her to even focus on one, and the anticipation made sleep an impossibility. Once the plane landed and Violet had collected all of her luggage, Violet had the airport send for a taxi for her. 

As Violet sat in the taxi that drove the streets of Boston with practiced ease, she could feel her heart pound in her chest from a combination of nerves and excitement. She clutched at Cheryl who she had set on her lap. Excitement flowed through her at the thought of seeing Katya again. Even though it had only been a few days since they parted ways from Katya’s elimination, it felt so much longer. Those last few days had dragged on for so long. 

Nerves also tingled their way through her body. They were going to have their talk, and Violet had no idea how well it would go. There were so many possibilities. Where would they even live? Did their lives even complement each other? There was such a large age gap, and what if her bratty behavior annoyed Katya if they lived together? All the older queens had made comments that her bratty, bitchy behavior was because of her youth, and what if she aggravated Katya? She knew she could be obnoxious with her need to have everything perfect all the time, but it was also to only way she could get any respect back in Atlanta. 

Violet stared at the window at the Boston lights and old buildings as she breathed. She had to stay calm. It didn’t do to dwell on something that hadn’t even happened yet. She breathed. 

While Violet sat in her cab, Katya paced in her apartment. She couldn’t seem to stop. She had started the moment Violet had texted her to let her know that her plane had landed, and she just couldn’t seem to stop. The television didn’t distract her, and she had already done everything she could to get her apartment as clean as she could for Violet’s arrival – she started sweeping and dusting the moment Violet told her she was changing her flight destination. Her laundry was done, carpets were vacuumed, new sheets were put on the bed, pillows were fluffed, and now she could only hope the place didn’t disgust Violet. 

Just then, her phone rang. Katya rushed over and answered it.

“Yes?” 

“Um, hey. It’s me. I’m here.”

“You’re here?” Katya’s heart jumped into her throat. “You’re here! Come on up!”

Violet chuckled over the line. “Yeah, um, I kinda have five bags down here.”

Katya smacked herself in the forehead. “Of course. I’ll be right down.” 

“K.” Violet smiled as Katya hung up her phone. She didn’t have to wait long for Katya to meet her outside. 

Katya stopped moving the minute she stepped outside. Her body just froze as a smile bloomed on her fave from the sight of Violet who had her hair down in soft waves with Cheryl perched on top of her head and was surrounded by five full bags. 

A hesitant smile graced Violet’s lips as Katya just stared at her. “So, you gonna say, ‘Hi,’ or are we just gonna stare at each other all night. Personally, I’d like to move this inside at some point.”

Katya dropped her head as she let out a laugh. When she lifted her head back up, Violet grinned and walked up to her and threw her arms around Katya’s neck and pulled her into a tight hug. Katya’s own arms wrapped themselves around Violet’s thin waist as she buried her nose into Violet’s neck and just inhaled the lavender and musk combination. 

When Violet took a small step away, Katya reluctantly let her arms relax as her hands slid to rest on Violet’s hips while Violet’s own hands slid to rest on Katya’s shoulders. Violet smiled at Katya before she pulled her head forward into a kiss. 

Katya sighed into Violet’s mouth as her arms wrapped themselves back around Violet’s waist and pulled her body flush against her own. Violet giggled as she broke the kiss, and Katya whined when Violet separated from her.

“Why don’t we take this inside?”

Katya huffed, though her smile remained in place. “Fine.” She gave Cheryl’s tail a flick before she bent down to grab three of Violet’s five bags while Violet dragged along her two largest bags. 

Once they made it into Katya’s apartment, they both felt a little awkward. Violet looked around at all of Katya’s things on display while Katya chewed on her bottom lip, anxious over what Violet thought about her home. Violet meandered her way over to Katya’s old couch before she met Katya’s gaze. 

“I missed you.”

Katya smiled as she let out an anxious breath. “I missed you too. So much.”

“So, I guess now’s when we talk.”

“I guess so.” Katya shuffled her feet over to Violet.

“I mean, I guess we could,” Violet shrugged her shoulders, “you know, wait until morning.” 

Katya shook her head as she sat down on the couch and pulled Violet down by the hands so they sat facing each other. Their knees touched. “No, no. I’d rather just lay it all out on the table and get it over with.”

“Okay.” 

They both sat and stared at each other. Neither wanted to be the one to start a conversation that would be uncomfortable for both of them at best. 

Violet sighed. She broke the silence. “So, um, why did you tell me when you did?”   

Katya looked down at their conjoined hands. “Um, well, there were a couple of reasons.”

“Such as?”

“Like I didn’t want to be a distraction for you at the beginning. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

Violet stared at her. “And?”

“And, um, I was scared.”

“Scared? Of what? Me?” 

“Kind of? I mean, you do have an intimidating aura.”

Violet looked down at her thighs. “Oh.” ‘ _I thought I just had a confident aura._ ’ 

“Fuck, I messing this up, aren’t I?” ‘ _Like I always do._ ’  

Violet looked up and squeezed Katya’s hands. “No, no. You were just being honest.” A soft, halfhearted smile appeared on Katya’s face. “Anything else?”

“Um, well, there was that first Untucked, y’know?” 

“Um, not really. What happened again?” 

“Um,” Katya pulled one hand out of Violet’s grasp to scratch the back of her neck, “you kind of said that you didn’t want a soulmate.”

“Oh.” While Violet couldn’t remember what she said, she could remember how she felt about soulmates prior to meeting Katya. She hadn’t cared at all about finding a soulmate, didn’t even want to find hers in fact, so she could just imagine what Katya must have heard. “I’m sorry.”

“No. No, don’t be. I probably shouldn’t have kept it a secret for so long, and it definitely wasn’t fair to you for me to spring in on you right before your last week.” Her lips quirked up. “Though, to be fair, it didn’t seem to hurt you much since you slayed the next challenge.” Katya grinned as a blush rose over Violet’s pale cheeks. 

“Oh, stop it.” Violet grinned.

“You know you slayed that Hello Kitty challenge.” Violet nodded along to Katya’s words. “You made it your bitch, Princess.”

“God,” Violet pulled her other hand free from Katya’s so she could shove Katya backwards and into the arm of the sofa, “how many times do I have to tell you that I’m not a princess?” 

Katya threw her head back and cackled. “Oh you will always be my little принцесса.”

“Oh, shut up, you bitch!” Violet laughed.

“You were so adorable when Hello Kitty walked into the room.” Violet buried her face into her hands. “Was meeting Hello Kitty everything you thought it would be, принцесса?” 

“I hate you.” Violet knew her entire face had to be bright red. It even felt hot to her fingers. 

Katya chuckled from her side of the couch as she tried to pull Violet’s hands away from her blushing face. “Oh, don’t hide, принцесса. I’ll get my little princess as many Hello Kitty knickknacks and tchotchkes she desires.”

Violet gave in and let Katya pull her hands away from her blushing face. “You suck.” She stuck her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.

Katya smiled as she leaned in to nip at Violet’s lower lip before she drew her into a hungry kiss. Violet went completely pliant in her arms, and Katya felt so strong as she kissed Violet. Katya kept leaning forward until Violet fell back into the couch cushion with an, “Oomph.” Katya had her forearms on either side of Violet’s head as she stared at the vision below her. Violet’s hair had spread out in a halo over the grey couch as Cheryl fell off her head. Her lips were red. Her eyes were dilated, and a a flush warmed her entire face. 

‘ _How did I ever get so lucky?_ ’ Katya leaned down and placed a soft peck on Violet’s lips as she shifted her body to lie comfortably between Violet’s legs.

“So, how’s it feel being in the final three?” 

Violet rolled her eyes. “No idea since I don’t even know if I am.”

Katya cocked her head. “What?” 

“We filmed four different endings with each of us shantaying away.”

“We’ll you obviously made it.” Katya smiled. 

Violet smacked Katya’s shoulder. “Don’t you dare jinx it.”

“You’re the only one who never had to lip sync. You’re a shoe in for the top three. The crown even.” 

“And when I get that crown, you’ll finally stop calling me Princess?”

Katya grinned. “We’ll discuss it, принцесса.”

Violet rolled her eyes with a smile, though she let it go. This time. “So, we’re good?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Good.” Violet grabbed Katya’s neck and pulled her down so she lay fully on top of her and mashed their noses together as they kissed and giggled. 

When Katya noticed that Violet had started to have a difficult time keeping her eyes open, she rolled off of her and stood up. Violet whined and reached her arms out for Katya, but rather than fall back into them, Katya just grabbed Violet’s wrists and yanked her up as well.

“Think it’s time for future reigning drag superstars to go to bed.” 

“Hmmm…” Violet leaned all her weight against Katya as her head dropped onto Katya’s shoulder. “Only if you come too.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, принцесса.” 

They shuffled their way into Katya’s bedroom. They still had a lot to talk about – where they would live, how quick they were comfortable with their relationship going, what they wanted for their futures, and if the other could even provide it for them – but for now, they were content with just falling asleep next to each other. 

Katya sat Violet down on the edge of her bed and grabbed an old shirt for Violet to change into rather than dig through Violet’s bag while she grabbed her own bedtime clothes and started to head to the bathroom to change. 

“Stay?” 

Katya turned and saw Violet staring at her with an almost childlike innocence in her tired, sleep-deprived eyes as she clutched the shirt in her fingers. “Of course.” 

Katya turned around and changed out of her clothes and into something comfortable, and when she turned around, she saw Violet picking at the buttons on her shirt as her eyes kept closing while her head kept jerking back as she tried to stay awake long enough to change clothes. 

A soft smile appeared on Katya’s lips. ‘ _She’s so adorable._ ’ Katya walked over and unbuttoned Violet shirts and maneuvered Violet’s arms out through the sleeves of one shirt and into the sleeves of another. Violet flopped backwards onto the bed. A soft chortle escaped Katya’s mouth as she deftly unbuttoned Violet’s shorts and slid them off before she arranged Violet underneath the sheets of her bed. 

When Katya slid into bed as well, Violet immediately curled up into Katya. She placed her face against Katya’s chest and brought up a hand to clutch at Katya’s shirt.

“Night…” Violet mumbled.

“Good night. Get some sleep, принцесса. I’ll be here in the morning.”  

Only a quiet snore answered her as Violet’s grip slackened. Katya smiled and placed a kiss on top of Violet’s hair before she closed her eyes. She ran her hand up and down Violet’s back until she joined Violet in slumber.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I still have an epilogue in the works, and then this will be over. Love you all so much.


	16. Epilogue

 

From the wings of the stage, Katya watched the screen as the finale played for everyone at the club that night. It was almost hard to believe that after nearly a year since they filmed the season – and two weeks since the finale – that it was all coming to an end. As Violet’s performance began on the screen to the cheers from the audience, Katya smiled. Violet was absolutely radiant as she proved to her doubters that she was more than just a pretty face.

–

_“Hurry up. I still need to finish getting all the pieces to this look on.”_

_Katya smiled up at Violet who stood in front of her in only her stoned black panties she brought for her number. “Relax, принцесса. You don’t want me to mess up on the hammer, do you?”_

_Violet pouted as she crossed her arms. “No…” She wanted to tap her foot, but she knew if she did, Katya would likely scribble on her._

_Katya chuckled. “Relax. We’ve got time. Pearl hasn’t even started her performance yet anyway.” Katya smirked as she lifted her marker and looked back at Violet’s soulmate mark. “Think she’ll do her Pearl Smash?” A soft chuckle escaped Violet to Katya’s pleasure._

_“Fuck, I hope so. It’s her signature after all.”_

_With a smile, Katya finished drawing the last line over Violet’s mark. “There.” Katya looked up at Violet. “Do you like it?”_

_Violet pulled away from Katya to look at herself in the mirror. The moon-like sickle mark on her hip now had a perfectly drawn hammer over it. She grinned._

_“It’s perfect.” She turned her grin to Katya. “I wonder what those Reddit conspirators will come up with when they see it.”_

_“Well, of course they’ll think that you think that I was robbed and deserve the crown you’re about to win.”_

_Violet stuck her tongue out at Katya which Katya just laughed at._

_Violet pouted. “You know, it really upset me when you went home.”_

_Katya frowned. “Vi? You know I–”_

_“I wish you would have gone home earlier.” Violet smirked._

_Katya cackled. “That’s the Violet I know and love!”_

–

Violet sat in between Ginger and Pearl on a couch with a camera on them as the three of them watched the finale episode. Violet had to win; she just had to. Even though she had felt confident all season long with being able to win it all, Rupaul could have decided anything. He could have picked Ginger since most of the challenges worked in Ginger’s favor. He could have picked Pearl since she got most of the fan vote. However, Violet would be ticked if she didn’t get it; she worked her ass off and not once failed enough to land in the bottom. Plus, she was the past, present, and future of drag.

When her interview began, Violet held her breath. How they had edited it could tell her what placement had been decided for her for the season.

–

_Violet let out a breath once Rupaul had concluded the interview and the cameras stopped rolling as they got set up for the next scene. When Violet stood up and turned to head backstage once more where she’d then have to get into her show-stopping finale dress that she refused to let even Katya see, her eyes spotted Katya standing in the wings with a big grin on her face._

_Her boa slipped off her shoulders as she raced towards Katya, and Violet couldn’t care less. Katya just looked so proud of Violet, and Violet needed to get backstage, to Katya, to her soulmate. As soon as she was within grabbing distance, Violet reached out and wrapped her arms around Katya where she then buried her face into the crook of Katya’s neck._

_Violet’s body melted as Katya wrapped her own arms around her nude waist. She loved how safe they made her feel, like nothing could touch her. Even though Violet knew that she could handle herself, that she was far stronger than people expected, in Katya’s arms, she didn’t feel like she had to. She could just let herself go. She didn’t need to be guarded. She could just…relax._

_Katya had proven her strength time and again to Violet. Her inner strength that showed from the simple being there to calm Violet down when she got into a stressed, perfectionist state to Violet watching Katya pull herself out of whatever dark hole she fell in just so that she could be who she needed to be for the people she cared about. It also didn’t hurt that Katya’s physical strength was no laughing matter either, from holding herself up as she bent Violet in half as she fucked her to her keeping Violet from falling when Violet would ask to try something new. Even though Violet hated to remember the failed attempt at blowing Katya upside down on her silks, Katya’s quick reflexes had prevented Violet’s head from crashing to the floor._

_While Violet loved how she felt when surrounded by Katya’s arms, she still couldn’t stand being vulnerable in front of other people, so with a soft sigh, Violet pulled herself back from Katya._

_“I love you so much.”_

_Katya smiled back at Violet. “I love you too, Princess.”_

_Violet scoffed as she rolled her eyes, though her smile did not fall. Even though it no longer bothered her and actually made her a little giddy inside, Violet still enjoyed complaining about being called Princess now and again. “Would you stop that? I’m going to be your reigning queen soon after all.”_

_Katya chuckled. “You’ll always be my принцесса.”_

_Violet rolled her eyes again as she pulled fully away.  “Maybe once you see me in my dress, you’ll changed your tune,” Violet said with a smirk as she entwined her fingers with Katya’s own and led her out from the wings to wait together until Katya would have to go on stage with all the other eliminated queens for their interviews._

_“By the way,” Violet said as she looked at Katya’s outfit, finally relaxed enough after her performance to fully take it in, “I’m living for this look tonight.”_

_A blush rose over Katya’s cheeks. “Thanks.”_

_“No, really. You have this way of making awful, awful fashion choices seem fashionable.” Violet grinned as she watched Katya’s blush darken. It had taken a long time, but Katya’s confidence had been improving. She still had bad moments, but Violet could now typically pull her out of them before she fell completely down the spiral of self-doubt and hate. “You look fucking glamorous, and high fashion, and beautiful, and couture–”_

_“I’m getting a boner.”_

_“–with a campy twist,” Violet finished with a faint roll of her eyes and a chuckle. “You idiot.”_

_Katya chuckled as she stepped behind Violet and wrapped her arms around her waist. “What? Don’t you want any of this?” Katya thrusted her flattened and taped groin against Violet’s ass._

_“Oh, no. What am I going to do with all that?” Violet asked in a deadpan voice._

_With a smirk, Katya leaned in until her mouth brushed against Violet’s ear so that she could whisper without anyone overhearing. “Oh, I think you know exactly what you can do with it. I’m envisioning you with a pretty crown on your head on your knees at my feet. How’s that sound?”_

_Violet clenched her fists together. “Don’t you dare make me pop my tuck, bitch.”_

_A low chuckle form Katya sounded in Violet’s ear. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve got enough time to untuck, get off, and retuck before you’re due on stage again.” Katya nipped at Violet’s ear._

_Violet let out a shaky breath. “But my dress…”_

_“You’ve got time.” Katya smirked as she watched the stagehands start to gather the queens. With a nip to Violet’s neck and a pinch to Violet’s mark, Katya let go of Violet and stepped away. “Looks like I’m on, Princess. Wish me luck!”_

_“Ugh! You owe me, whore!”_

_Katya giggled as she stepped out on stage, and she went straight to her spot for the start of the interviews._

–

“ _The time has come to crown our queen. The winner of Rupaul’s Drag Race, and the next drag superstar is…_ ”

Violet held both Ginger and Pearl’s hands as the three of them waited with baited breath to see just who Rupaul would announce.

“ _Violet Chachki._ ”

Violet stopped breathing as she stared at the screen in shock. She did it?

–

As soon as Katya heard Rupaul announce Violet’s name from backstage, she turned around and took off. She already knew which room the three finalists were in, and she was determined to be the first face Violet saw when she exited the room. Nothing and no one could stop her.

–

Violet could faintly feel Ginger patting her hand.

“Yes. Yes, girl.”

“Oh, my god.” It didn’t seem real. After so long, it just didn’t seem real. “This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever felt in my entire fucking life.” Violet couldn’t really pinpoint how she felt. Shocked? Elated? Relieved? It was all just too much. It almost felt like a fog had descended around her. Nothing felt real.

The producer’s eventually told the three of them that it was time for the official crowning, and Violet stood on shaky legs. Though she’d never admit it, she was grateful for Ginger’s hand on her back and Pearl’s hand on her elbow. The little touches from her friends helped ground her as she walked with shaky steps for the door.

When the door opened, Katya’s beaming face greeted her. Violet’s face cracked as she lunged at Katya, as she burrowed herself in Katya’s chest. She shook.

“Shh, принцесса, shh.” Katya wrapped one arm around Violet’s waist as she ran her free hand up and down across Violet’s back. “You did it. Don’t cry, принцесса. You don’t want to ruin you makeup.”

Violet let out a soft chuckle as she held onto Katya.

“We need to go,” one of the crew told them. “There’s a crowd waiting downstairs to see their winner.”

Katya frowned at him before she focused back on Violet. “Come on. You can do this.”

Violet took a breath and lifted her head as she took in a shaky breath.

Katya smiled and cupped Violet’s cheek. “There. Now go be your badass self and show them why you’re the one Ru chose.”

Violet nodded her head. “Okay. I can do that. Fuck, it just feels so weird.”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

–

Violet had made it to the stage. She stood facing the crowd with her crown on her head. Ginger and Pearl stood behind her and Katya, her soulmate, stood in the wings, and Violet could feel her proud eyes watching her. The former reigning queen, Bianca, handed her a mic.

“Come through!” she shouted into the mic.

The roar of applause felt so good.

“I have no fucking words to describe how surreal this feels. I just cannot believe that there’s a Rupaul’s Drag Race crown on my fucking head, again.” Violet laughed along to the laughter from the audience. “I want to dedicate this moment to every queer individual out there. I want to be an inspiration to every gay, queer, lesbian, bi, transgender, and ally.”

As she spoke, out of the corner of her eye, Violet could see Katya nodding along to everything she said.

“I also want to thank someone very important to me. My rock.” Violet grinned as the audience stared up at her. “Your Miss Congeniality.” The audience began to cheer. “Come on out here, Katya!”

The deafening scream from the audience made Violet laugh as she beckoned a wide-eyed Katya to join her.

When Katya joined her, Violet mouthed an ‘I love you’ before she pulled Katya in for a kiss. She didn’t care about her makeup; it could be fixed later. She just wanted Katya.

Katya’s eyes went wide for a moment as Violet’s lips crashed against hers, but then, in a familiar and much practiced motion, she wrapped her arms around Violet as her eyes fell shut.

Later, Violet would drag Katya to her hotel room after their performances and demand to be fucked and worshipped like a queen should be. Later, the two of them would watch uploads of their kiss from every angle from shaky phone recordings and laugh and smile at themselves. For now though, Violet being in Katya’s arms with a crown on her head was all that the two of them could have ever wanted.

 

                                                           


End file.
